Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Felt a little guilty
Old 09-24-2007, 12:31 PM   #1
Recycles dryer sheets
Eyerishgold's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 222
Felt a little guilty

I need a new pair of jeans. And I mean NEED not want. So I went looking for jeans over the weekend and found a decent pair at Nordstrom Rack......for $59!!! I picked them up, carried them around the store once or twice, went to stand in the checkout line and then returned them to the rack and left the store without buying them.

Is this normal behavior? I find myself doing this more and more. It seems like I feel guilty whenever I spend any money. Personally, I don't think this is healthy. I think I should be able to spend money sometimes and not feel guilty about it.

Anybody else run into this issue, or do I need to seek professional help?
__________________

__________________
Eyerishgold is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 09-24-2007, 12:43 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
brewer12345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 16,391
I think it reflects on your perception of value received in the purchase. You may not have quite recognized it, but clearly the jeans were not worth the $59 the store was charging. Nobody "needs" a $59 pair of jeans, especially when there are significantly cheaper alternatives. You wanted it but weren't willing to pay the price. No big deal.
__________________

__________________
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."



- Will Rogers
brewer12345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 12:44 PM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
maddythebeagle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,450
I dont think a lot of folks here would have even bothered picking up a 60 dollar pair of pants....so you are rather ahead on that point
__________________
maddythebeagle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 12:44 PM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
calmloki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Independence
Posts: 5,459
This is not normal behavior and you do need professional help. Luckily, I am able to assist you. As a professional (gets paid for it) I find myself able to spend other people's money with little personal trauma. I will contact you off-line and arrange for you to send as much money as you can to me for spending. You are welcome.
__________________
calmloki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 12:54 PM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,015
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eyerishgold View Post
I need a new pair of jeans. And I mean NEED not want. ...
Is this normal behavior? I find myself doing this more and more. It seems like I feel guilty whenever I spend any money. Personally, I don't think this is healthy. I think I should be able to spend money sometimes and not feel guilty about it.

Anybody else run into this issue, or do I need to seek professional help?
I find myself doing the same thing now that I'm retired. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I much more aware of my financial situation now and I view every purchase in the context of "what am I giving up by buying this?" So, lately, I see lots of stuff that I want (or thought I wanted), but I'm just not buying it.

That said, you mentioned that you NEED the jeans -- it's not a case of want. When I NEED something, I do tend to be more selective than I was in the past -- and more critical of my choices -- but I ultimately will spend what I think is necessary to get the best choice available. And, if that best choice is a pair of $60 jeans that I'll get a lot of wear from, and will feel good wearing, then I'm buying 'em.
__________________
Achiever51 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 12:55 PM   #6
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,887
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eyerishgold View Post
I need a new pair of jeans. And I mean NEED not want. So I went looking for jeans over the weekend and found a decent pair at Nordstrom Rack......for $59!!! I picked them up, carried them around the store once or twice, went to stand in the checkout line and then returned them to the rack and left the store without buying them.

Is this normal behavior? I find myself doing this more and more. It seems like I feel guilty whenever I spend any money. Personally, I don't think this is healthy. I think I should be able to spend money sometimes and not feel guilty about it.

Anybody else run into this issue, or do I need to seek professional help?
Maybe you wanted to give yourself the opportunity to shop in some other store besides Nordstroms, for jeans! I'll bet you have a lot of fun checking out what is available elsewhere, and you would probably save a whole lot of money on jeans that would make you feel just as happy.

If not, you can always go back!
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 01:17 PM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
OAG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Central, Ohio, USA
Posts: 2,598
Maybe you were just subconsciously trying set the point at which you could find a less expensive product. When I wanted to get home improvement work done I used to call Sears and get an estimate -- it was always higher than anyone else's. Then from that point I could get other estimates or determine what I could "save" by doing it myself. Always made me fee better knowing how much under the "highest bid" I could get or do something for myself.
__________________
Vietnam Veteran, CW4 USA, Retired 1979
OAG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 01:17 PM   #8
Moderator
Sarah in SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,456
We have a new mantra around the house:
"Spend less, save more, retire earlier"! It helps when the Home Depot virus hits!

What do you need the jeans for? If you need work outside jeans, then get a pair of Carhartt's--they'll last the rest of your life. If you need pants, go to a discounter and get some--I buy Eddie Bauer on sale for $29.
__________________
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way

Sarah in SC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 01:32 PM   #9
Full time employment: Posting here.
toofrugalformycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Anchorage
Posts: 731
I think your behavior is healthy, other than I wonder why you're even stepping foot in Nordstrom's if you're concerned about getting value for money. Value meaning functional clothing.
I've never paid $59 for a pair of jeans.
__________________
toofrugalformycat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 01:56 PM   #10
Moderator Emeritus
CuppaJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: At The Cafe
Posts: 6,866
Just last week I almost picked up a pair of slacks marked $55.00. Even though I had a $20.00 coupon for items over $50.00, I did not buy it. Now, I really feel nuts, going into stores only if I have a $20.00 coupon. I have two of those coupons on me as we type. Next time, I'll try the discount store, maybe.
__________________
CuppaJoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 02:16 PM   #11
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
lazygood4nothinbum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,895
i only go into nordstrom's to listen to the piano player under the escalator. i go into macy's or dillards to purchase jeans. because i've always just worn cheap jeans, shorts and t-shirts and never dressed for style, i'd never have to rethink a purchase now that i'm on a fixed income. i can go about my day being just as cheap as i ever was and guilt free at that.

when i want to "dress up" i just hit the gym, buff up and put on a tighter t.
__________________
"off with their heads"~~dr. joseph-ignace guillotin

"life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages."~~mark twain - letter to edward kimmitt 1901
lazygood4nothinbum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 02:19 PM   #12
Recycles dryer sheets
Eyerishgold's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 222
Thanks for all the replies.

I guess I was just feeling a bit crazy for not being able to spend money. I don't think it was that price of the jeans that was at issue. Even if I had gone to a store where I could get less expensive jeans I know that I still would've felt guilty. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

Maybe it's good for my wallet but bad for my sanity.
__________________
Eyerishgold is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 02:20 PM   #13
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
brewer12345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 16,391
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eyerishgold View Post
Thanks for all the replies.

I guess I was just feeling a bit crazy for not being able to spend money. I don't think it was that price of the jeans that was at issue. Even if I had gone to a store where I could get less expensive jeans I know that I still would've felt guilty. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

Maybe it's good for my wallet but bad for my sanity.
Do you have a budget, with fairly detailed categories? Some people feel that a budget helps them feel free to spend what is OK to spend.
__________________
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."



- Will Rogers
brewer12345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 02:26 PM   #14
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
TromboneAl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11,197
You might have felt more guilty had you bought them.
__________________
Al
TromboneAl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 02:29 PM   #15
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Goonie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: North-Central Illinois
Posts: 3,198
We have a couple of "thrift" stores in town that we like to shop at. I've seen a lot of 'designer' and/or 'name-brand' jeans, just like new, for $5 to $10.....some still had the tags on them. We were at one a few weeks ago that is a consignment shop, and bought a couple of bags of new or like-new cloths for a tad less than $15. I got an LL Bean coat for $5....just like new! And we'll make back what little we spent, because we're going to take some stuff down there tomorrow, that we no longer need or want.

The last pair of new jeans I bought were on sale at K-Mart for (IIRC) $8.50, this past Feb in FL.

I love thrift shops and sale racks, especially 'out of season' sale racks!!!
__________________
Goonie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 02:36 PM   #16
Recycles dryer sheets
Eyerishgold's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 222
Quote:
Originally Posted by brewer12345 View Post
Do you have a budget, with fairly detailed categories? Some people feel that a budget helps them feel free to spend what is OK to spend.
We do have a fairly detiled budget but I feel like if I don't spend what my budget allows for I can save more.

And just for the record it was Nordstrom Rack which is essentially their outlet store which carries overstock and outdated items so the prices are generally much better that Nordstrom's.
__________________
Eyerishgold is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 02:43 PM   #17
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
HFWR's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 12,964
Costco has Kirkland jeans for under $20...
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire

...not doing anything of true substance...
HFWR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 06:59 PM   #18
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
donheff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 8,643
Go to Costco and pick up a pair for $25
__________________
Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. -- Samuel Johnson
donheff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 07:31 PM   #19
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
thefed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,203
i feel buyers remorse a lot, but im getting better on the sub 100 dollar category.


anything above that and you'd think i just lost a loved one (well...i did! benjamin!)

its good...shows that your are concious and aware!
__________________
thefed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2007, 08:04 PM   #20
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,887
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eyerishgold View Post
We do have a fairly detiled budget but I feel like if I don't spend what my budget allows for I can save more.

And just for the record it was Nordstrom Rack which is essentially their outlet store which carries overstock and outdated items so the prices are generally much better that Nordstrom's.
That sounds a lot better than Nordstroms as far as price! I'll bet it's a lot of fun to prowl through their racks to see what you can find.

I guess I'm lucky. My favorite jeans in the entire world are Lee Jeans, and I can get the style I like at Academy for $22. They're probably cheaper someplace else, if I took the time to look.
__________________

__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Senator Craig: Guilty or Entrapped? TromboneAl Other topics 172 09-21-2007 07:35 AM
Need help with feeling guilty! newguy88 Life after FIRE 17 10-02-2006 04:05 PM
Scrushy found not guilty Dawg52 Other topics 12 07-02-2005 03:18 PM
Guilty about working spouse? RockMiner Life after FIRE 34 04-24-2005 09:40 AM
Guilty of Being a Cubicle Hater notTwain Young Dreamers 4 08-20-2004 11:09 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:02 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.