Female Smarts: Let's Hear From the Gentlemen

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

...must resist posting reply.

Well done .

 

[growing_older]

Intelligence - especially mind searing brilliance - is a huge attraction. But in my experience it is too rarely associated with "all other things being equal" like kindness, or empathy, or ability to tolerate and interact with the general public.

Personality, intelligence and affection are much more important than physical looks (except maybe for 20 year old guys).

 

[haha]

Personality, intelligence and affection are much more important than physical looks (except maybe for 20 year old guys).

If you would like to test that hypothesis, put up some pictures of 45 year old beautiful women, average women, and appearance challenged women on a dating site.

Then sit back and count your "flirts" received.

Like Billie Holiday sang, "God Bless the Child Who Got Its Own". Physical atractiveness is a gift that keeps on giving.

Ha

 

[Amethyst]

I have dated/married men who used my "intelligence" against me verbally (you are too smart for me, just because your IQ is X does not mean blah blah blah (not something I share with people unless we are in a "serious" relationship - that will bring out male insecurities -

I have never told anyone my IQ. It tends to fluctuate, anyway

Can't imagine a guy on this board being "threatened" by female smarts.

Female smarts combined with a huge rack...maybe

 

[ziggy29]

Can't imagine a guy on this board being "threatened" by female smarts.

Female smarts combined with a huge rack...maybe

A girlfriend I had a couple decades back was a 44D. Personally, I think that's a little much. I'm a fan of proportion.

That's not what broke us up, though! We were both strong-willed and clashed on too many things. She was pretty bright, but our opinions about too many aspects of life were too misaligned for it to work, and we gave it three shots. First she dumped me, the second time I dumped her, and the third time we reached a mutual agreement that no matter how much we cared about each other and wished it were otherwise, it wasn't going to work.

 

[Khan]

A girlfriend I had a couple decades back was a 44D. Personally, I think that's a little much. I'm a fan of proportion.

That's not what broke us up, though! We were both strong-willed and clashed on too many things. She was pretty bright, but our opinions about too many aspects of life were too misaligned for it to work, and we gave it three shots. First she dumped me, the second time I dumped her, and the third time we reached a mutual agreement that no matter how much we cared about each other and wished it were otherwise, it wasn't going to work.

It is good to decide such things before marriage/children.

 

[yakers]

. From what I have observed of the egg-head set, the constant need for showing that you're the smartest person in the room is not attractive. The truly smart ones combine book smarts with social smarts in equal parts.

Not a case of assessing the qualities in a woman but I think you will see the point.
My sister was once dating a fellow who was a Grand Master at chess. My dad was an OK player and decided to pay a game. Amazingly, my dad won.
The fellow was seriously smart.

 

[freebird5825]

...Female smarts combined with a huge rack...maybe

Did my pager just go off?

[sorry, I just couldn't let that one go by...]

 

[freebird5825]

...Wife #2 (of 20 years now) has to struggle at school but she is one of the most kind, giving, selfless people I have ever met Combine that with a good dose of just common sense and I'll keep her for another 20 years.

Intelligence is hard to measure. Intelligent at what? Number crunching? Mechanically inclined? Socially adept? Understanding people?

Home run with bases loaded! You have the formula.
Intelligence measures? I like to think of intelligence as the desire to learn, i.e. knowing what you don't know and doing something about it. It could be via books, classroom, asking others with experience, rolling up the sleeves and pitching in, etc.
The means is not as important as the journey.

 

[ls99]

A date may only need to look good in hooker-style clothes and not immediately puke when she has a few drinks.

Ha

In my youth my preference was for "one six pack" ladies.
"Two six pack" ladies were out of my budget.

 

[bbbamI]

A girlfriend I had a couple decades back was a 44D. Personally, I think that's a little much. I'm a fan of proportion.

So am I. You have the advantage of being able to see "up front". However in order for me to know if there is "proportion", the wrappings have to be uncovered. By then, it can be too late....

 

[Walt34]

Walt, it sounds like you're a very fortunate man.

If I were a betting woman (and I am), I'd bet your DW feels fortunate too.

For whatever reason she still thinks I'm "the best thing that has ever happened" to her.

Of the ex, one of the nicest things she ever said to me was "Her loss!"

How could a guy NOT want to shower her with flowers?

 

[bbbamI]

....true love....

 

[ziggy29]

For whatever reason she still thinks I'm "the best thing that has ever happened" to her.

Of the ex, one of the nicest things she ever said to me was "Her loss!"

How could a guy NOT want to shower her with flowers?

If this were getting any sweeter I'd need an insulin shot, and I'm not even diabetic.

 

[youbet]

With women, a little "raunchiness" can overcome a lot of faults.

 

[freebird5825]

So am I. You have the advantage of being able to see "up front". However in order for me to know if there is "proportion", the wrappings have to be uncovered. By then, it can be too late....

Ah, it's NEVER too late.
Many a ship has sailed unladen only to return full of treasure.

 

[bbbamI]

With women, a little "raunchiness" can overcome a lot of faults.

Really? Do tell......

 

[unclemick]

Hmmm - I never did get it - so to speak - I got got for 29 years.

This second go round - I'm still trying to figure out what I was looking for when I got an offer I can't refuse.

heh heh heh -

 

[Redbugdave]

I feel intelligence does not really equate into the equation. You want someone that likes to do the things you enjoy, and has many of the same values. Intelligence does not have anything to do with with these attributes unless all you are interested in is quantum physics or something...

 

[Westernskies]

A girlfriend I had a couple decades back was a 44D.

...turning into a 46 Long a couple of decades later.

 

[Amethyst]

redbugdave, I was dying to answer up something smartassy about how mean Schroedinger was to his cat, or how Heisenberg never had the energy when I had the time, but I'm restraining myself....

 

[Amethyst]

Letting someone look smart

Travelover (I like "feral engineer," always makes me think of a ninja with a calculator) wrote: "Very smart -no doubt. Of course it helps if she lets us look smart."

I have been giving this observation some thought. How does one let someone else "look smart? I could think of these ways:

1. By not correcting their little missteps and mistakes (Simple politeness).

2. By pretending not to know something that I, in fact, know quite well(Hypocrisy; sorry, can't make myself do it).

3. By asking them questions that I suspect they know the answer to and would love to answer (Diplomacy; takes practice).

Any reason why men wouldn't practice 1 and 3 on women's behalf?

 

[haha]

I have been giving this observation some thought. How does one let someone else "look smart? I could think of these ways:

1. By not correcting their little missteps and mistakes (Simple politeness).

2. By pretending not to know something that I, in fact, know quite well(Hypocrisy; sorry, can't make myself do it).

3. By asking them questions that I suspect they know the answer to and would love to answer (Diplomacy; takes practice).

Any reason why men wouldn't practice 1 and 3 on women's behalf?

I don't find any of these things hard, except #1 when I have a stake in outcomes.

#1) I cringe when guys correct women they are with, and I suspect the women do too. Why do it? Who can be sure what is right anyway, at a given time and place?

I did do some of #1 when I was married, as I thought I could save her from some grief, and since we were married save me some too. It was probably a mistake.

#2) Nothing I like better than playing dumb. It's a parlor sport with many rewards.

#3)This is tricky. Some women automatically go on guard if you ask them a question, and maybe suspect that the man has an agenda. Probably with enough skill it woujld go well.

For me, if I can do #s 1 and 2 well I figure I am way ahead of my competition. Men as a class are notorious know-it-alls!

Ha

 

[Khan]

Gave up long ago trying to play the game(s).

 

[haha]

Gave up long ago trying to play the game(s).

Horses for courses. To me life would be thin gruel without games. Not mean nasty dirty games, but games of pleasure and skill.

For the most part, no man can outgame a woman. It's her life work whereas we usually come to it late.

Ha