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Old 06-10-2008, 02:30 PM   #21
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My suspicion is that you have not truly been to your own personal hell and back. I think this helps many consciously and unconsciously realize how good life is "here and now"

May peace be with you.....
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Old 06-10-2008, 05:01 PM   #22
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I want to thank you for what I am sure was an unintended consequence of this thread. I am absolutely not claiming be wise or superior to anyone, but it seems that I have had much of what you are searching for almost all of my adult life. I do not value material things much, am quite non-competitive, can sit or walk for hours with nothing but pretty thoughts for company.
Here is the rub: The less I care about the mores and attitudes of this society, the more I am looked upon as lazy, unsocial, unmotivated and lacking a work ethic. (Can you believe it?) So---recently I have actually been a little bothered that perhaps "they " have a point. Perhaps it would be easier to find the sense of community that I have long desired if I "went along to get along" more. Perhaps I should care about which sports team beat another sports team yesterday. Perhaps I should not sit in my car and read a book rather than participate in the mundane discussions in the lunch room at work (the one or two day a week that I work). Should I desire a newer car? Is it really important to wear a phony smile in order to be socially accepted? Is being busy really a manifestation of a full life? Is what I consider contentment what others consider boredom?
Thefed, my point is that you expressing your desire to have some of the things which come so naturally to me really made me feel much better about myself and the course my life has taken. The envy I was beginning to feel for the energy and productiveness of "type A" personalities has been allayed. I feel better now about my less traveled road and I wish you the best in your pursuits. Again, sincere thanks.
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Old 06-10-2008, 07:49 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Fireup2025 View Post
My suspicion is that you have not truly been to your own personal hell and back. I think this helps many consciously and unconsciously realize how good life is "here and now"

May peace be with you.....


There is nothing like your own personal hell to put life in perspective !
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Old 06-10-2008, 08:07 PM   #24
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thefed

I want to thank you for what I am sure was an unintended consequence of this thread. I am absolutely not claiming be wise or superior to anyone, but it seems that I have had much of what you are searching for almost all of my adult life. I do not value material things much, am quite non-competitive, can sit or walk for hours with nothing but pretty thoughts for company.
Here is the rub: The less I care about the mores and attitudes of this society, the more I am looked upon as lazy, unsocial, unmotivated and lacking a work ethic. (Can you believe it?) So---recently I have actually been a little bothered that perhaps "they " have a point. Perhaps it would be easier to find the sense of community that I have long desired if I "went along to get along" more. Perhaps I should care about which sports team beat another sports team yesterday. Perhaps I should not sit in my car and read a book rather than participate in the mundane discussions in the lunch room at work (the one or two day a week that I work). Should I desire a newer car? Is it really important to wear a phony smile in order to be socially accepted? Is being busy really a manifestation of a full life? Is what I consider contentment what others consider boredom?
Thefed, my point is that you expressing your desire to have some of the things which come so naturally to me really made me feel much better about myself and the course my life has taken. The envy I was beginning to feel for the energy and productiveness of "type A" personalities has been allayed. I feel better now about my less traveled road and I wish you the best in your pursuits. Again, sincere thanks.
As I have stated elsewhere: you have to drag your ego into the alley and stomp it flat.

If you aren't up for that, you should at least be prepared to backhand it now and then.
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Old 06-10-2008, 08:27 PM   #25
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ADHD? Adderall instead of a book?
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Old 06-10-2008, 08:44 PM   #26
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Great thread, thank you everyone, and just what I needed after a stressful day!

Another short book to read:
Take your Time: Finding Balance in a Hurried World, by Eknath Easwaran, 1994, the Blue Mountain Centre of Meditation. ISBN 0-7868-6221-1.
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Old 06-10-2008, 09:40 PM   #27
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As I have stated elsewhere: you have to drag your ego into the alley and stomp it flat.

If you aren't up for that, you should at least be prepared to backhand it now and then.

Oh man I like this one.
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Old 06-10-2008, 11:54 PM   #28
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ADHD? Adderall instead of a book?
i've often wondered...

the thing that throws me off is that i have selective bouts of inattention...basically things that dont 130% pertain to me,my thoughts, my goals etc.

I actually have an issue with overzealous follow through when i get an idea. a good example was in the Op...i intended to get a pellet gun to numb the mind and plink a bit....instead i was determined to be a sharpshooter and spent 6 hrs a day til i perfected it, then moved on.

if i get in the mood for some $$ making opportunities, i'll be on the net researching,talking, learning for days on end until i find what i want (usually a real estate deal, or similar)

It's like I have a selfish form of tunnel vision!!


NOWORKETHIC: I find your post very touching. I can see where we are at opposite ends of the spectrum and can learn from one another. I feel that IF I get to that super-content point, I WILL perceive myself as a lazy guy with no WORKETHIC...for lack of a better way to put it. thanks for the post...
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Old 06-11-2008, 08:32 AM   #29
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This is one of the more interesting threads to me. I think we are all trying to be as happy as we can be. Since all of us are different, the paths we follow are different.

I'm much more similar to noworkethic -- it is crazy that this society frowns down on those who do "just enough" work to get by and spend the rest of their time goofing off, also known as enjoying life. Still, there's always the thought in the back of my mind that I should be doing more work (mostly around the house). It is tough to become completely comfortable with yourself, who you are and how you spend your life.

I was playing tennis with one of my buddies this weekend, and at one point he announced, "I am perfectly happy; there is nothing else I'd rather be doing at this point." Tennis is his passion, and he's had a variety of injuries over the last couple of years that have kept him from playing, so he was particularly aware of the joy of what he was doing. In turn, that made me realize that yes, at that time, there was nothing else I'd like to be doing, either (though I wished my forehand hadn't deserted me).

Now back to thefed, is that pellet gun thing really a negative? Obviously you have an obsessive type of personality -- is there any way in which you would have been comfortable with taking a leisurely approach to shooting? I doubt it. The story comes out either good or bad depending on your mindset while doing it. If you were grimly approaching the shooting range (I'm getting it right THIS time gosh dang it), I can't see how that's a good thing. But if the approach was more along the lines of well, since I can't let this thing rest until I master it, I'm going to enjoy the day and my improvement in my skill, that turns into a positive.

The one thing that stood out to me in the initial post... I know you run half a dozen businesses, but is there any way in which you could turn off that cell phone for the duration of your son's games? Clients can be very touchy and maybe it'd hurt your business, but is there any way to disconnect during important times?
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Old 06-11-2008, 09:03 AM   #30
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Sometimes you have to look out for #1 or else life will take a #2 on you.
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Old 06-11-2008, 10:12 AM   #31
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Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, page 136:

Quote:
Man's main concern is not to gain pleasure or to avoid pain, but rather to see a meaning in his life.
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Old 02-08-2009, 10:16 AM   #32
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Interesting thread I started here....I found it through google searching for ways to become more well-centered. ironic, huh?
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Old 02-08-2009, 06:58 PM   #33
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Interesting thread I started here....I found it through google searching for ways to become more well-centered. ironic, huh?
So have you followed any of the advice?
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Old 02-08-2009, 08:12 PM   #34
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One of the surest ways to not achieve happiness is to make a goal of it. Happiness is an 'inside job' it does not ultimately relate to our conditions in life. It is a gift, given to all of us but which some people refuse to receive. The gift is waiting but you can only find it on your path. All someone else's' story can do is remind you that it exists.
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Old 02-08-2009, 08:15 PM   #35
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So have you followed any of the advice?
I assume that you are joking.
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Old 02-08-2009, 10:12 PM   #36
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One of the surest ways to not achieve happiness is to make a goal of it. Happiness is an 'inside job' it does not ultimately relate to our conditions in life. It is a gift, given to all of us but which some people refuse to receive. The gift is waiting but you can only find it on your path. All someone else's' story can do is remind you that it exists.
Amen (twice).
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Old 02-09-2009, 09:37 AM   #37
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So have you followed any of the advice?

I actually have, Khan , thanks for asking. One of the reasons I found myself pondering this issue again is I have lost my 'sanctuary' outside with this weather. For quite some time I made it a point to sit in my back yard, clear my thoughts, listen to the birds, rest in my hammock, and just enjoy being there. With the weather in NE Ohio the way it is in the winter, I find that technique hard to replicate!
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Old 02-09-2009, 09:41 AM   #38
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I assume that you are joking.

you must think everything's a joke? Or just being cautious? A quick review of old posts shows "you must be joking? or I assume you're joking..." to your favorite phrase in your 9000 posts.


oh, duuuh.... 'haha' says it all
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Old 02-09-2009, 10:37 AM   #39
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Whether you admit to it or not, I think ALL of us adults suffer from this, particularly in our work lives.

My sons still have the gift, yesterday my youngest played in the snow for 2 hours, and then told us he was the "king of the yard", and we had to pay a toll to get into his castle (snow fort)..........

What was I doing during that time? Chopping ice, sprinkling rock salt, clearing dead branches......... I did have a snowball fight, but I got waxed by him and his older brother, both have cannon arms.......
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Old 02-09-2009, 10:47 AM   #40
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you must think everything's a joke? Or just being cautious? A quick review of old posts shows "you must be joking? or I assume you're joking..." to your favorite phrase in your 9000 posts.


oh, duuuh.... 'haha' says it all
Sorry amigo.

ha
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