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Old 10-20-2014, 12:46 PM   #41
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That's not snark. It's petty rudeness.
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Perhaps, but I think you may be underestimating the risk to the business of losing me. Anything could happen, of course, and like I said, no one is irreplaceable, but the honest reality is that there is a greater chance of the company having to refund millions of dollars to customers for failure in their ability to support the product they've sold due to my departure. It's a risk, no question. And I need some guidance about how to deftly determine the actual amount of that risk, rather than relying on standard memes about the risk to my job.

I have a very personal experience myself. We came to MA, actually, as a result of my spouse getting a job up here. I was working for a consultancy, and while it meant that my boss couldn't expect me to be in "the office" on the few days I wasn't with a client, anymore, he had no problem with me moving. I went on to work there for another four years, before leaving on my own terms. It's a different situation, of course - every situation is different from every other situation, by definition - but the trappings are the same: Some aspect of the situation makes it uniquely less likely to follow the standard meme.

True, but that has to be balanced off the possibility of continuing to earn Boston salary while incurring the (35% smaller) cost of living in Atlanta.

That's a paralyzing way of looking at things. It rationalizes never taking any risk in life whatsoever, hunkering down, avoiding all perturbations even though they may make other aspects of life better, for one's self or one's loved ones. We do need to learn more about the place we'd be living. That's why I've secure the opportunity to go with my spouse on that business trip. I'll be working remotely that week, so there will be that small precedent set, as part of this. We'll try to inundate ourselves with experiences over the weekend, and in the evenings. However, we'll never be in a situation to live somewhere for a while before we move there. It's just not practical given the circumstances and given the point of considering the move in the first place. So the question I have for you is, given those realities, how to better overcome the lack of understanding of the community, without resorting to the drastic measures you suggest, and without throwing up our hands and claiming that there is no other way to get enough information to make a reasonable decision.

That's not going to happen. She's moving from a high income area to a low income area, and so her current salary would be considered by any reasonable manager to be a bump in compensation that more than makes up for making the move. It is more reasonable to speculate that my manager (doing the same math) trying to reduce my salary as a result of the move, than to project that my spouse's manager would offer a higher salary to make the move.

I don't doubt that they'd do something along those lines, but the reality is that there no such job. My situation is unique - for the same reason I'm less likely to face the risks to my job that you speculated about above, I'm almost surely not going to find another job like this one, so finding another job for me is not part of the plan. While stuff happens, and you have to roll with whatever happens to you in life, the plan here is contingent on a high probability of keeping the job I have. I think it is reasonable for you to point out the need to do something (although I'm asking you what that might be) to ascertain how reliable that provision of the plan is; it is not reasonable to assume that keeping my current job cannot possibly happen and therefore any plan based on keeping my current job isn't a good plan.

We're going to find out what that will be, soon. I think we're assuming that they'll cover about $8K as a flat reimbursement for what will surely be a small percentage of the actual cost of the move.

No question about that. And we don't plan on signing any contract that isn't almost totally contingent on selling our home at a reasonable price.

Nor any certainty that we wouldn't be much sadder staying here rather than moving. We don't know what tomorrow might bring. No one ever does. The activity needed here is to research and make an assessment of the probable future situation given both decisions (staying vs. moving).

Thanks for the suggestion. We're not interested in switching to a long-term relationship at this point in our lives. We're a couple, and we'll stay together. Also, we have had enough bad experiences with being remote landlords that we don't do that again. Finally, we cannot justify the expense of living in two cities at the same time.

One concern I have with what you've posted is that you haven't placed any value on the human side of the equation, except tangentially toward the end of your message. For example, you didn't even consider that I might be happier, personally, working remotely than working in the office. (I would; the office is a glare-y, uncomfortable environment.) Why wouldn't you consider those aspects more substantially than your comments indicated? I'm looking for insights to help us make the best decision for us, akin to the great comment you made about not signing contracts now, and akin to those that I feel you've left out of your advice, i.e., those that integrate how each of the two options will affect our life, rather than just our finances.

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I don't buy this, for reasons I alluded to earlier.

It is such a weird aspect of this: So many people are so passionate about renting first, without knowing us or our situation, that in some cases it has bordered on the offensive. People are different, and so what works best for one person won't be the right choice for other people.
I see a theme here.
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:46 PM   #42
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Some people here moved into an RV after downsizing, if you are looking for unique ideas.
How about a yurt, or a tree-house? You forgot to mention those "unique" ideas
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:47 PM   #43
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We considered Pods for our last move.
Move and storage.
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:49 PM   #44
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I see a theme here.
As I mentioned, I also have seen a theme here.
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Old 10-20-2014, 12:59 PM   #45
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Yeah I'm definitely not worried about a week or so in a hotel. I'm a little worried about a month. No one is picking up the bill for this move. Even so, that's still probably less than $2000. We can hack that if we have to. Does anyone know if any of that expense is deductible. (I know the meals we eat out as a result of the delay in closing are not deductible.)

I was actually surprised at how little movers reportedly charge for storage. We'll get hard numbers from the movers on Thursday of course but our realtor said it was on the order of $80 per week. Very reasonable if that rate is correct.
Moving isn't cheap, that's for sure! Having professional movers is expensive, but it really lowers the stress and that storage fee sounds good.
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:05 PM   #46
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How about a yurt, or a tree-house? You forgot to mention those "unique" ideas
I have actually seen tree-houses for rent on air bnb. We considered one (it was really more of a guest cottage) when one of the kiddos needed a cheap place to stay while apartment hunting.

People rent all sort of crazy places on air bnb including RVs parked in their drive way and even hammocks in their back yard. The room didn't come with a hammock - the "room" was the back yard hammock.

I guess another alternative to avoid storage fees would be to sell everything on Craigslist and then rebuy in the new location. I've seen some pretty nice furniture at garage and estate sales since helping furnish an apartment for one of the kids. I have started shopping thrift stores and estate sales for stuff for us. I've realized I can get like new household goods for 15 cents on the dollar compared to buying new, even on Amazon.
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:07 PM   #47
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I can't be of any help to the OP because I've always sold/purged/rented until I found my next place but I've certainly gotten some good ideas from all of these suggestions for the next time!
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:16 PM   #48
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A co-worker just pointed us at airbnb. I don't see a way to search by "pet-friendly" yet, but it's got to be here.
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:24 PM   #49
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I'm starting to wonder if you are worrying about too much too soon, re my earlier post having a closing date is better then not having one, but it's only a date..Your house might not close, the sale might not happen. Buyers seem to have the power to back out whenever they want to and usually end up getting all their earnest money back...I don't think I would book a date to move until I had most of the paperwork and a buyer inspection and a real definite idea that it is really happening when it's supposed to. Do you need to have one house sold before you move on to the next one? Of course if you went to storage and some type of renting this wouldn't be as big of an issue.


The point people are making is no matter much you want to control things sometimes you can't and not being flexible just adds stress.
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:25 PM   #50
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Our kid stayed at air bnb or hotels booked through Kayak during apartment hunting and we decided it was cheaper to rebuy from CL / thrift shops / estate sales for furniture than pay for moving or storage. Bed bug potential stuff we bought new from Ikea in the new locale.
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:26 PM   #51
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Congrats on getting an offer! It can be exciting and terrifying to make huge changes in your life.

If you can, get some exercise. Even a short quick walk will burn up some of that extra adrenaline in your system.

And congrats on finding a lot of junk to get rid of. Sounds like with the loss of the basement it'll be important for you to declutter, so keep it up!
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:34 PM   #52
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Do you need to have one house sold before you move on to the next one?
Yes. Our purchase offer is contingent on our sale. We don't have the money to buy without first selling. The sale looks very strong. The buyer has been trying to buy into this neighborhood, and lost two purchases already. Their friend lives next door to us. They are pre-approved.

Found an airbnb room for $40 a night which might work out. Thanks for that pointer (to both those who suggested it here and my co-worker who suggested it too).
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Old 10-20-2014, 02:14 PM   #53
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Good Luck on your move ! I got so stressed when I moved from New Jersey to Florida that I got shingles . When we moved we did rent for eight months an unfurnished apartment & unpacked just the basic essentials next time I move if I have to I will rent the smallest furnished place available & leave everything in storage .Moving twice is a giant pain .
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Old 10-20-2014, 02:24 PM   #54
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they also put in really low offers for all three....


That does two things.... first, you find out if someone is waiting like the empty house... second, it tells the sellers that their place is not the only bid that is out there....


I actually did not hear about the bid until a few days later... and someone had accepted it the same day....
If this seller is anything like me, I would reject the buyer coming back to me again after such a low ball initial offer. Probably means you are dealing with someone who will continue to be unreasonable and not worth the trouble.
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Old 10-20-2014, 02:31 PM   #55
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If this seller is anything like me, I would reject the buyer coming back to me again after such a low ball initial offer. Probably means you are dealing with someone who will continue to be unreasonable and not worth the trouble.
I've always rejected immediately low ball offers. I put a lot of thought into determining the market value and know that a low ball is someone that will jack you around every chance they get until closing.

I also either reject "contingency of buyer selling" offers or accept with the right to sell to another offer without that contingency. The contingency buyer gets a right of first refusal -- usually 24 hours so the second offer never sees the delay. I also won't accept much of a discount off my asking price. I made the mistake once of accepting an offer like this and got screwed around for two months before getting out of it. My buyers were looking for a total sucker for their house which they never got. I was pissed at my realtor for encouraging me to accept it with a 60 day limit.
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Old 10-20-2014, 02:36 PM   #56
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Yes. Our purchase offer is contingent on our sale. We don't have the money to buy without first selling. The sale looks very strong. The buyer has been trying to buy into this neighborhood, and lost two purchases already. Their friend lives next door to us. They are pre-approved.

Found an airbnb room for $40 a night which might work out. Thanks for that pointer (to both those who suggested it here and my co-worker who suggested it too).
Sounds good, my sister had an all cash, no inspection, no contingency offer from someone who said. "We've been wanting to move into this neighborhood forever, your house is just perfect, here is a full price offer....2 weeks later they pulled the plug and ate their earnest money. You really have no recourse over a buyer that just bails, and a contingency offer to your seller is not always that welcome, as crap happens. Just pointing out nothing foolproof.
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Old 10-20-2014, 02:42 PM   #57
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Our purchase offer is contingent on our sale.
That could be why you haven't heard back on your offer yet.
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Old 10-20-2014, 02:45 PM   #58
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Anything is possible, though I would expect a seller who doesn't like a contingency would counter-offer without the contingency rather than saying nothing. Our buyer's agent seems to think that we haven't heard from them because they're trying to figure out if they still really want to move. It's a really hard decision so I can understand taking the full 24 hours to decide.
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Old 10-20-2014, 03:10 PM   #59
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Anything is possible, though I would expect a seller who doesn't like a contingency would counter-offer without the contingency rather than saying nothing. Our buyer's agent seems to think that we haven't heard from them because they're trying to figure out if they still really want to move. It's a really hard decision so I can understand taking the full 24 hours to decide.
Very likely they may counter your offer with a meet me in the middle $ wise or something along those lines versus outright rejection.
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Old 10-20-2014, 04:14 PM   #60
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Waiting with bated breath for what happened at the 5 pm edt deadline....
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