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02-07-2012, 11:19 AM
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#241
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 25,362
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Ah, the road ahead!
Sounds good.
You: stiff upper lip
Him: quivering lower lip
__________________
I thought growing old would take longer.
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02-07-2012, 12:24 PM
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#242
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Orlando
Posts: 2,657
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Did you say he was going to counseling? Is he still going?
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02-07-2012, 12:39 PM
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#243
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 147
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 Quote:
Originally Posted by Buckeye
Did you say he was going to counseling? Is he still going?
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Yes, he's been going every week for the past 8 weeks or so, and his therapist ramped him up to 2 sessions this week and possibly for the foreseeable future. It's really been helping him and he wishes he would have gone years ago.
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02-07-2012, 01:35 PM
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#244
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 17,244
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marathoner
They have rented an apartment together and were supposed to move in Feb 4. He rented a U-Haul and moved her into their apartment, then he came to our house to get his stuff. However, he couldn't do it, as he said that he never loved her, still loves me, finally realized the full impact of what he did, wants to reconcile, can't stop thinking of me, is only happy and clear-headed when I'm around, etc. I told him the choice was no longer his, but he still decided not to move his stuff out. So now they're living together, but he was supposed to bring our bed and TV, so maybe they're sleeping on the floor? Who knows, but he told me his mistress is pretty angry at him right now for not following through. She may be beginning to recognize the "prize" she "won"  At least I get a little more time on the Tempurpedic instead of an air mattress!
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LOL... it sounds so much like the guy who wants what he is not supposed to have or can not have.... once he gets it... move on to the next thing you want to have...
I think the GF is now learning that being a mistress is different than being a wife or live in partner... because that leaves an opening for someone else to fill...
You are better off without the drama.... as my DW tells me all the time "I want to enjoy life".... you should too....
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02-07-2012, 01:48 PM
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#245
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,774
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marathoner
...If all goes well, I should only have to see him two more times -- the day of our divorce, and the day we sell the house....
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Do you even have to be there for both of those--can the lawyers just handle these? I mean, it might be too hard for you to stifle the urge to dance around the table and tell him to kiss your grits! 
Good luck on the new employment search!
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
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02-07-2012, 02:11 PM
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#246
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,366
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Glad to hear you are doing well and continuing to work on your goals. I think you are on a positive path for the future. Good for you!
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02-07-2012, 02:17 PM
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#247
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: LaLa Land
Posts: 4,698
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I think you should give him your sessions with the counselor, he needs all the help he can get. Sounds like you have it together at this point, good for you. 
__________________
Work is something you do to get enough $ so you don't have to....Me.
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02-07-2012, 02:31 PM
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#248
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 13,150
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Thanks for the update Marathoner. Sounds like you have things very much under control which is great.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
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02-07-2012, 02:37 PM
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#249
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Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: N. Yorkshire
Posts: 34,130
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Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer
Thanks for the update Marathoner. Sounds like you have things very much under control which is great.
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+1
__________________
Retired in Jan, 2010 at 55, moved to England in May 2016
Enough private pension and SS income to cover all needs
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02-07-2012, 03:19 PM
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#250
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 862
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Sounds like things are progressing really well. Glad you have rediscovered that spending time with your friends makes you happy.
Good luck with the rest of the divorce, and the job hunt.
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02-07-2012, 05:29 PM
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#251
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 7,113
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Congratulations on taking control of your life. Thank your lucky stars that you don't have children together.
Your description of your soon to be former husband reminded me of a former suitor. I thought 'There but for the grace of God would have gone I.'
__________________
Duck bjorn.
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02-07-2012, 08:26 PM
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#252
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 2,179
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marathoner
He was emotionally abusive. I always thought he was joking, so I didn't think I took him seriously, but since this has happened and I am no longer walking on eggshells, I realize I must have internalized some of his abuse. My therapist told me I'm such a "glass half full" person that if I were in a concentration camp, I'd be rationalizing why it wasn't so bad, so I need to work on recognizing red flags to make sure I don't get involved in such a bad relationship again!
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Coming from someone who was engaged to a woman who had some equally bad, severely negative traits, I can completely relate with the "walking on eggshells" and "rationalizing why ______ isn't so bad".
Congrats on your awakening! Enjoy life again...and remember that you don't deserve to be in a relationship with someone that puts you through that again (took me two engagements to finally wise up. ).
__________________
Dryer sheets Schmyer sheets
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02-07-2012, 08:52 PM
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#253
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,532
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Retch The Grate
Sounds like things are progressing really well. Glad you have rediscovered that spending time with your friends makes you happy.
Good luck with the rest of the divorce, and the job hunt. |
+1
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02-07-2012, 09:26 PM
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#254
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: No. California
Posts: 1,858
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Thanks for sharing your update. I'm glad that things are working out well for you. I hope the time goes quickly until the divorce and sale of your home is finalized.
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02-07-2012, 10:27 PM
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#255
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Anchorage
Posts: 731
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreamer
+1
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+2
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02-07-2012, 11:13 PM
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#256
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,401
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+3
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02-07-2012, 11:43 PM
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#257
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,050
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+4
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02-08-2012, 07:14 AM
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#258
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 746
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+5
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02-08-2012, 08:13 AM
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#259
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 129
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+6
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02-08-2012, 08:26 AM
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#260
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,202
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+7
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