Girls Cost More to Raise

[justin]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

Laurence,

We have a new little daughter, and we're experiencing the same amount of gifts, gifts, gifts. So far we haven't bought hardly anything besides the diapers and food. Christmas and a birthday are coming up soon, so that should score us enough clothes and toys for the next year. I imagine once she's a teenager (in 12.5 years) the costs will really start to increase.

 

[Nords]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

Hey Nords, what are the sex of your children and how old are they?

Our grrrl is about to turn 13 going on 21.

If we'd had a boy first then we probably would have talked ourselves into trying for a girl, so I consider this God's little warning shot across the bow. I can't communicate the emotional degree of my desperation, but I actually had to beg & plead to have a Navy surgeon do the operation under local anaesthetic. I even signed a waiver.

So, what's the solution? Should I raise my girl as a boy? Or send her to a nunnery when puberty hits? How do you hedge your girly risks?

Teach her to surf.

Lex's unofficial KIDENOMICS CHART:

The cost of clothes
Girls $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Boys$$$
Auto Insurance
Girls$$$$$$$
Boys$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Property Damage When Parents Away for weekend
Girls$
Boys$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Bail Money and Legal Fees
Girls$
Boys$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Cell Phone Bills
Girls$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Boys$$
Grocery Bills
Girls$$
Boys$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Beer Inventory Shrinkage
Girls N/A
Boys$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Cash Shrinkage (Pleading and Whining Induced Payments)
Girls$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Boys$$
Cash Lost through negligent malingering
Girls N/A
Boys$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Real value of these delightful children - Priceless.

Nords' version--
Clothes & toiletries: Quicken claims $40/month for the first and $10/month for the second. She's getting a six-month budget fund on her birthday and we'll see how long it really lasts...
Auto insurance: Zero. After her hormone-induced amygdala hijack this morning, who'd give her a license?!?
Property damage: Let's not forget who invited the boys over.
Bail: Who's gonna pay for that? At least you'll be able to save your allowance, honey!
Cell phone: What cell phone?
Groceries: Before kid-- $400/month. After kid-- $500/month. "But, Dad, I bought a Jamba Juice card that gives me a 10% discount!"
Beer: Well, she has all of my genetic material except the Y chromosone, and I'd be awfully darned surprise if the beer gene isn't already in there somewhere. At least she won't be drinking Bud.
Shrinkage: "Dude, that's why they call it a MONTHLY allowance." (Any conversation to a girl that begins with "dude" will end faster.)
Malingering: What, is there a teenager in this world who actually wakes up before fourth period lunch?

Grandchildren: the parent's vengeance on their kids!!

We'll see on the sig. Gotta come across a good one first, but I'll keep an eye out.

I'm thinking just about anything by Ted Nugent... or Jimmy Buffett. Especially Jimmy's lyrics to "Overkill".

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

Our grrrl is about to turn 13 going on 21. 

If we'd had a boy first then we probably would have talked ourselves into trying for a girl, so I consider this God's little warning shot across the bow.  I can't communicate the emotional degree of my desperation, but I actually had to beg & plead to have a Navy surgeon do the operation under local anaesthetic.  I even signed a waiver.
Teach her to surf.
Nords' version--
Clothes & toiletries:  Quicken claims $40/month for the first and $10/month for the second.  She's getting a six-month budget fund on her birthday and we'll see how long it really lasts...
Auto insurance:  Zero.  After her hormone-induced amygdala hijack this morning, who'd give her a license?!?
Property damage:  Let's not forget who invited the boys over.
Bail:  Who's gonna pay for that?  At least you'll be able to save your allowance, honey!
Cell phone:  What cell phone?
Groceries:  Before kid-- $400/month.  After kid-- $500/month.  "But, Dad, I bought a Jamba Juice card that gives me a 10% discount!"
Beer:  Well, she has all of my genetic material except the Y chromosone, and I'd be awfully darned surprise if the beer gene isn't already in there somewhere.  At least she won't be drinking Bud.
Shrinkage:  "Dude, that's why they call it a MONTHLY allowance."  (Any conversation to a girl that begins with "dude" will end faster.)
Malingering:  What, is there a teenager in this world who actually wakes up before fourth period lunch?

Grandchildren:  the parent's vengeance on their kids!!
I'm thinking just about anything by Ted Nugent... or Jimmy Buffett.  Especially Jimmy's lyrics to "Overkill".

Anything by Ted or Jimmy works for me.

JG

 

[Danny]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

When my son was playing guitar, he remarked that Ted "Only knew about 4
chords!".................. Sure made it work for him though, didn't he?

JG

 

[Danny]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

I think Ted retired and became our Nords.

 

[laurence]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

Awesome, listened to some Ted Nugent riding in my friends Corvette Z06 today. That looks like the bow my grandpa-in-law uses, you know, one of the many in-laws that could kick my a**.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

I think Ted retired and became our Nords.

Is Ted really retired? I thought he still toured. I know he does some charitable work and is on the Board of The NRA. Speaking of which............................a couple of my kids are annoying me right now.
If they don't shape up I may just divert their inheritance to The NRA,
an organization which has almost never disappointed me.

JG

 

[Danny]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

I think Ted retired and became our Nords.

Nords from behind while posting on forum:

http://early-retirement.org/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3579.0;id=201;image



Nords looking into monitor while posting on forum:

 

[Jarhead*]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

Nords from behind while posting on forum:

http://early-retirement.org/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3579.0;id=201;image



Nords looking into monitor while posting on forum:

DanTiem: Hot Damn. Lost my coffee on that one.

In fact it was so good, I may forgive you for taking the Twins out
of the mix for your 2006 baseball hopefuls.

 

[Nords]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

I just hope Ted ain't wearing reading glasses. A man's got to have cherished illusions.

 

[LovesLife]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

Laurence,

Nice family picture.

LL

 

[Danny]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

Is Ted really retired? I thought he still toured. I know he does some charitable work and is on the Board of The NRA. Speaking of which............................a couple of my kids are annoying me right now.
If they don't shape up I may just divert their inheritance to The NRA,
an organization which has almost never disappointed me.

JG

Hey Mr. JG , How about considering the forum members, divide it up amongst us. We're almost always here for you and we certainly will be in the future knowing we are in your will. Your devoted forum friend DanTien
Best wishes and Warm Regards.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

Hey Mr. JG , How about considering the forum members, divide it up amongst us. We're almost always here for you and we certainly will be in the future knowing we are in your will. Your devoted forum friend DanTien
Best wishes and Warm Regards. 

That might very well be the "just" thing to do, esp. considering you all
are subjected to my rants. I will take it under advisement.

JG

 

[BUM]

Re: Girls Cost More than Boys to Raise

Hi JG

I could use a fishing boat... an ugly one would be just fine. One that you don't care if it has water, oil, and a little fish guts sloshing around. You got one of those?

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Wow i'm late on this one, but its all relative.

I told my wife when she was pregnant and before we "knew", that if we had a girl, she'd be spending the first 40 or so years of life wrapped in a rug in a closet. Very low cost.

We simply dont have enough room in the back yard to bury all of the guys that she'd bring home. Or the ones I'd have to hunt down, kill and skin. Plus I dont need that many pencil boxes made from shinbones.

I guess we could have just not ever toilet trained her. That was always my rule. Girl pooped on a date, I took her home. Unless she had really big boobs.

 

[Nords]

We simply dont have enough room in the back yard to bury all of the guys that she'd bring home.  Or the ones I'd have to hunt down, kill and skin. 

C'mon, TH, get with the modern parenting. Today we teach our daughters martial arts (thus outsourcing the father's traditional duties, and incidentally saving quite a bit on shotgun ammo) and our property line backs on a large gulch zoned for fertilizer agriculture.

I guess we could have just not ever toilet trained her. That was always my rule. Girl pooped on a date, I took her home. Unless she had really big boobs.

There is no way that I'm going to turn this into a "So how did you meet your wife?" joke...

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Knowing our collective DNA, teaching a daughter martial arts would result in her dragging home unconscious boys whether they were interested or not.

On the subject of the second matter...oh...come on! Betcha cant do it.

Boring "how did I meet my wife story"...we were both at a party of a mutual friend and in her words "I heard someone talking and he had the sexiest voice i've ever heard, so I found who was speaking and introduced myself".