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GoFundMe request
Old 04-29-2015, 11:17 AM   #1
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GoFundMe request

The wife of someone I don't know personally, but is a friend of a friend of a friend type thing, has posted their story on a GoFundMe page asking for help because of incredibly difficult health issues that have had him unable to care for himself for the past six months. The wife has numerous health issues herself and has been on disability for a while (at least it sounds like it) and is now the 24/7 caretaker of her hubby to boot.

They have very little income and they're being foreclosed on. They're asking for money so that he can prevent the foreclosure and not have all their stuff taken and so it will give them time to deal with it.

I'm considering sending her a message suggesting that whatever money she receives that she forget about the mortgage and just spend some of it paying a moving company to pack and move them to somewhere they can afford. I'm concerned they will spend all this money on "saving" themselves from foreclosure and then just be back in this same predicament in three months because they don't have enough income to stay afloat. At least it doesn't sound like it from the post.

Should I even bother? I don't know her personally, so a) she may not give a crap what I think, but b) if this somehow ticks her off, no skin off my back because we're not really friends. I would just hate to see her spend all this money to try to save something that may not ultimately be salvageable.

Has anyone else been in a position like this? Should I just mind my own business? It's been on my mind since I saw it a few days ago.


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Old 04-29-2015, 11:35 AM   #2
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Has anyone else been in a position like this? Should I just mind my own business? It's been on my mind since I saw it a few days ago.
I've never been in that position, but I can't imagine interjecting that idea to someone I don't know personally and thus likely don't know the entire story and all the circumstances.
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Old 04-29-2015, 11:47 AM   #3
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I've never been in that position, but I can't imagine interjecting that idea to someone I don't know personally and thus likely don't know the entire story and all the circumstances.
That is kind of the way I'm leaning because of what you said. I don't know the whole story, just what she's posted online.

And as a separate thought completely, I probably should've titled this thread something else, because people might think I'm trying to request money. Duh!
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:20 PM   #4
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You said it's a friend of a friend type thing. If you know someone who knows the people well, you could mention it to your friend and let them decide whether to raise the issue or not. However, I don't think it's likely they'll listen to you.
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:23 PM   #5
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Heck, I know this lady that have lost a few houses, have been kicked out of rentals... have had cars repoed and she still will not listen...

Nope, I would not get into someones business if they were that far removed from me... heck, I stopped talking to the lady I knew and she is the sister of my best friend.. (just as an aside... the only reason I stopped talking to her is that her difficulties were the only topic that she talked about and because of her drug dealing BF)...
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Old 04-29-2015, 12:32 PM   #6
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I would not respond at all. A friend of a friend is a stranger. It's basically a news story. And if you provide unwanted commentary, you'll find no one thanking you for your advice.


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Old 04-29-2015, 01:22 PM   #7
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Thanks for the guidance. I think you're right and I'll stay out of it.
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Old 04-29-2015, 03:35 PM   #8
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Glad you are staying out of it. I, too, have been alarmed by the spate of recent fundraising campaigns among my more distant acquaintances. I resist the impulse to offer advice OR money, and go about my merry way.
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Old 04-29-2015, 04:21 PM   #9
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Glad you are staying out of it. I, too, have been alarmed by the spate of recent fundraising campaigns among my more distant acquaintances. I resist the impulse to offer advice OR money, and go about my merry way.
Every time I see something like this GoFundMe request, I want to post something like, "hey everyone... this would be a good time to remind you that you may want to consider getting long-term disability insurance because you just never know what can happen..." Something no one wants to hear, so I usually just keep my mouth shut.
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Old 04-29-2015, 05:36 PM   #10
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I also agree that staying out of this is a good plan. It is hard to imagine anything could be 'worked out' that would be a true long term solution. It sounds like this couple will be forced to move soon.

I continue to be amazed by the sheer number of these online funding requests. Some are for a very legitimate need and others not so much. It seems that few anticipate or plan for personal disasters.
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Old 04-29-2015, 06:48 PM   #11
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I don't like GoFundMe.


Feels like begging, with a middleman taking a cut of the "donations."


Sorry. If you know me and want my money you need to ask me face to face.


And the answer will be "No."


If you know me well enough to ask for money, you already know that.
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