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Golf $*&A%^
Old 06-29-2009, 05:49 PM   #1
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Golf $*&A%^

Just when you're ready to sell your clubs and take up bowling you make a great shot. And just when you think you've got the hang of it you have a lousy game. Golf is just a big tease, it's from the devil.
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Old 06-29-2009, 06:33 PM   #2
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NSFW link:

How the Scottish invented Golf Video by The Spasianater - MySpace Video

The only other thing I have to offer is what I saw penciled onto the interior of the roof of a golf cart one day: "Remember, the game was invented by sado-masochistic Scottish monks, you were doomed from the start! "
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Old 06-29-2009, 08:04 PM   #3
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FinallyRetired, it's an amazing game. All of the sudden I'm putting great, like 30 putts a round, so of course my drive is in the toilet. If I could ever get all parts of my game working at the same time I might manage a bogie round. Now that would be something for me!

On the other hand, it's a damn pretty place to spend time. A couple of pics from Saturday's round.

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Old 06-29-2009, 11:27 PM   #4
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I went out to (so I thought) hit my first sub-50 for 9 holes last Friday night. Weather was nice and sunny, work week was done...all was right in my world.

On the first hole I hit my third over the green on the back fringe, chip back over the front of the green and four-putt for an 8. Grrr. Not what I was hoping for, but hey, at least my ball stayed dry and in bounds.

On the second hole, a par-4 dogleg left, I pure my 5-wood about 250 straight as an arrow exactly where I am aiming...trying to cut the corner a little. The fairway is perhaps 20 yards wide there. Trudge, trudge, trudge. Can't find it. Look for five minutes. Still can't find it.

I wave the threesome behind me through as I trudge back to the tee box (I'm walking and carrying my clubs for the exercise). I retee, hitting three, and pure a second drive with the same 5-wood, but this time I don't cut the corner at all, and aim down the center of the fairway. Probably went about 240, I'm guessing.

Just to be safe, I hit a provisional with a seven iron and dink that about 125 down the fairway. Sigh. I trudge up to hit the provisional and shank it off to the right side of the fairway.

I then go look for my second tee shot in the fairway. Can't find it. Look for five minutes. Still can't find it. Disgusting waste of two good drives now.

I trudge over to my provisional. Can't find it. Look for a minute...ah, there it is.

I hit it towards the green, but this time I shank it to the left. No worries, as by now I am laser focused on watching exactly where that darned ball has landed. Hey, at least I still am playing by the rules and have a score. Maybe I need to take my shoes off to figure out what it is, but hey...

So I trudge, determinedly towards the 2 yard by 2 yard area where my provisional ball landed. And can't find it. Look for five minutes. Still can't find it.

I drop a ball in the fairway and toss my scorecard in the trashcan at the third tee.

2Cor521
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Old 06-30-2009, 12:12 AM   #5
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It is indeed a lovely walk spoiled by a little white ball (which yours truly, "Mr. Slice" spends most of the walk looking for)

But then you have that Tiger Woods moment, and you're lured back for more.
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Old 06-30-2009, 02:30 AM   #6
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I had more fun mowing the greens when i worked on a golf course with the idea of free golf when the day on the greens keeping crew was done,never picked up a club again as i realized it was a chumps game if i was thinking i was going to ever become more than mediocre,what i really liked was making the 1000 acres look as beautiful as possible, the golfers for the most part were a bunch of miserable irritants who didnt seem to be having any fun.
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Old 06-30-2009, 07:06 AM   #7
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Quote:
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FinallyRetired, it's an amazing game. All of the sudden I'm putting great, like 30 putts a round, so of course my drive is in the toilet. If I could ever get all parts of my game working at the same time I might manage a bogie round. Now that would be something for me!

On the other hand, it's a damn pretty place to spend time. A couple of pics from Saturday's round.

Coach
Wow, what scenery! If I were playing in that scenery I wouldn't worry so much about my score.

SecondCor, I know what you mean. Yesterday I was playing with a scratch golfer, which I like because I can learn from him. But not only is he a great golfer, but when his ball did go in the trees it magically bounced back into the middle of the fairway. Mine would hit the same trees and bounce into the forest, lost forever. Even the couple of times when I hit a great shot into the fairway the ball would magically disappear and cost me a stroke.
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Old 06-30-2009, 08:38 AM   #8
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My 9 year old son and I went golfing on Sunday afternoon, as a reward for working hard around the house and on his baseball team. I wasn't that excited about it because we had a 25-30 mph wind all day but oh well. Here's the blow by blow for me:

1st hole: Only 280 yards, par 4 with a 30 mph crosswind. I rip the drive but the wind blows it into the bunker where it plugs. Two tries to get out and I have a 20 footer for par that I miss, tap-in bogey.

2nd hole: 360 uphill, par 4 downwind with a large pond on the left. Hook a drive into the water. Retee for my third shot. Hit drive in the rough, hit 60 degree wedge to 25 feet, miss putt, tap in double.

3rd hole: 208 yard par 3, 25 mph crosswind. Aim way right and hit a smooth 4 iron. Narrowly miss green, but ball is sitting down in the deep rough. bad chip leads to a long par putt, make bogey instead.

4th hole: 357 par 4 into the gale. Put the ball back in my stance, and hit a punch 3 wood that goes 240 in the fairway. Hit 52 degree gap wedge to 11 feet, miss birdie, make par.

5th hole: Only playing 304, dogleg left. Wind is blowing hard behind me,so I hit a 3 wood as good as I can. Ball ends up pin high in the left rough. Hit 60 degree to 8 feet, miss birdie putt, make par.

6th hole: 402 par 4. Hit 5 wood downwind for position. Hit it too good and through the dogeleg into the deeper rough. Hit 7 iron from 166 and hit the green but rolls off the back. Chip with 56 degree wedge to 9 feet, miss par putt, make bogey.

7th hole: 355 yards. Trees on left and right, big crosswind. Try to hit a punch 4 iron, pull it left into a pond. Take a drop and whistle a 9 iron from 145 over the green. Chip to 15 feet, miss the putt, make double bogey.......

8th hole. 178 yard par 3 into the teeth of the wind. Hit a 4 iron as well as I can, wind blows it into the bunker, fried egg lie. First bunker shot just hits the lip, and ball rolls back in. get it on the green, but I leave a 30 footer. Two putt for double bogey.

9th hole: 525 into the teeth of the wind. Rip a drive into the wind, ball goes 250, on the left side of the dogleg going back to the right (perfect position). At this point I don't care anymore, so I decide to hit a 3 wood off the deck, and absolutely crush it. The ball ends up only 20 yards from the green. I chip on to 10 feet and miss ANOTHER birdie putt....... Make par for a 44......not bad.

Son has a 20 foot chip from the rough for a double bogey. I tell him if he chips it in I'll buy him dinner, which he does......... My son shot 67, and I gave him a few mulligans and a couple drops out of the rough........

I am happy with that round in that wind........
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:38 AM   #9
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Golf courses give their employees the "privilege" of free rounds because otherwise the employees would realize how many hours of work they have to put in to earn enough to afford the greens fees...
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:39 AM   #10
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I have a terrible slice that I've been trying unsuccessfully to correct. I've fought the urge to correct for my slice by rotating my stand, figuring that doing so will never allow me to correct it. Yesterday the slice got worse, so bad that I was losing my first tee shots into the trees to the right, into the water to the right, or into the next fairway.

So I finally give in. I rotate my stance 30 degrees to the left, figuring the ball will slice right down the middle of the fairway. You guessed it. Slice is gone, my shots start going right into the trees on the left and getting lost. &^$*^R.
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:42 AM   #11
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The reason they call it "golf" is that all the other four letter words were taken.
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Old 06-30-2009, 10:03 AM   #12
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I have a terrible slice that I've been trying unsuccessfully to correct. I've fought the urge to correct for my slice by rotating my stand, figuring that doing so will never allow me to correct it. Yesterday the slice got worse, so bad that I was losing my first tee shots into the trees to the right, into the water to the right, or into the next fairway.

So I finally give in. I rotate my stance 30 degrees to the left, figuring the ball will slice right down the middle of the fairway. You guessed it. Slice is gone, my shots start going right into the trees on the left and getting lost. &^$*^R.


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The reason they call it "golf" is that all the other four letter words were taken.
And you'll note that golf spelled backwards is "flog"...
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Old 06-30-2009, 11:11 AM   #13
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I never did understand the lure of the game...until today. Drivers, woods, strokes, balls, hole-in-one. It all makes sense now!
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Old 06-30-2009, 11:40 AM   #14
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I never did understand the lure of the game...until today. Drivers, woods, strokes, balls, hole-in-one. It all makes sense now!
It's a way of talking about sex without offending anyone.........
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Old 06-30-2009, 11:48 AM   #15
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helllloooo ballllll....
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Old 06-30-2009, 11:50 AM   #16
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I have a terrible slice that I've been trying unsuccessfully to correct. I've fought the urge to correct for my slice by rotating my stand, figuring that doing so will never allow me to correct it. Yesterday the slice got worse, so bad that I was losing my first tee shots into the trees to the right, into the water to the right, or into the next fairway.

So I finally give in. I rotate my stance 30 degrees to the left, figuring the ball will slice right down the middle of the fairway. You guessed it. Slice is gone, my shots start going right into the trees on the left and getting lost. &^$*^R.
By going way further left, you probably changed your swing plane so you are now pulling the ball, because the club is now hitting the ball at a different angle. I would make sure you are lined up correctly, SQUARE to the target, and just practice taking the club straight back and straight forward, like a pendulum. Think of the hour hand on a clock, and try swinging smoothly from 3 o clock to 9 o clock. Do that a bunch of times, and then do it with a live golf ball. Once you are hitting the ball straighter, make your backswing a little higher, to 2 oclock, then 1 oclock, and finally high noon.

Once you get the "feel" of a straight shot, try to repeat it over and over.

Disclaimer: I am NOT a golf pro!!

MANY folks can play decent golf with a 3/4 swing, I have even seen some guys on tour do well with it. The LONGEr the backswing, the more things that can go wrong.........
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Old 06-30-2009, 12:47 PM   #17
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Golf was enjoyable here today. Humidity much lower which made it very pleasant. Wish every summer day could be this nice.
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Old 06-30-2009, 12:48 PM   #18
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Golf was enjoyable here today. Humidity much lower which made it very pleasant. Wish every summer day could be this nice.
Score??
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Old 06-30-2009, 01:47 PM   #19
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Headed out to torture myself again today.....I like the pain

Last round my putter let me down.....easy now bbbamI !
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Old 06-30-2009, 01:54 PM   #20
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Headed out to torture myself again today.....I like the pain

Last round my putter let me down.....easy now bbbamI !
mmmmfffff...........must not....mmmmffff
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