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02-09-2019, 10:09 PM
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#41
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Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 5,664
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No at this point we don't have any plans.
We had a full service for DM; and when DF passed, I did the same for him. That was north of 14k. I didn't have that much credit on my credit card, but the funeral home took a check. Dad had a family plot in Brooklyn where both my parents were buried alongside my grandparents.
Dad wanted me to be buried in the family plot, but I don't know where DH and I are going to end up. Also, my parents wakes, especially DF's were very crowded. I doubt that is going to be an issue for us.
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02-09-2019, 10:41 PM
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#42
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 5,307
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mountainsoft
It sounds like a smart thing to do, but I'm curious if anyone here has prepaid their funeral plans like this?
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With the Medicaid issue I would definitely do what you can do for a prepaid funeral (I don't know what qualifies).
From a simplification angle I was so, so glad that my parents had back many, many years ago bought a prepaid funeral plan. It was easy for my mom when my dad died and it was easy for me when my mom died. There were a few things she had prepaid for that we didn't use (funeral home escort, for example. My mom's house was down the street from the funeral home so this was not needed). We got a refund (in 1970s dollars, alas) for those things. Still I was really glad she had done it as it limited the decisions that had to be made and I knew what I was doing was what my mom had wanted since she had chosen it.
From an economic standpoint I was also glad. Yes, she left sufficient funds to pay for it. But, even though her checking account was POD I couldn't access that until after the funeral when the death certificate came in. I could have advanced the money for the service (well, put it on my credit card) and I would have. That said -- not everyone can afford to do that.
All of that said -- DH and I haven't done anything like that ourselves. We both want a direct cremation. While we don't want a service, we have each talked that having a family party at some point to celebrate the life of the deceased might be nice. While we are both here we probably won't prepay anything. After the first one of us is gone the survivor might arrange for something just to make it easy for our kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monterey298sc
The sad thing today with people doing cremation with NO permanent memorial. A place for generations to memorialize. Without a headstone it like people did not exist. Sadly when our company cremated someone 50 yrs ago and now the great grandkids want to know where there family is buried, we tell them took them home. Family is upset they can’t go see where they are buried.
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For many a good permanent memorial is the one on Find A Grave.
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02-10-2019, 06:35 AM
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#43
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Beaverton
Posts: 1,382
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My parents ashes are floating somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I hope mine are too when it's time. Outside of the cost to cremate I'm not worried about it. My wife's ashes are under a tree that was planted for her at my church. Only the kids and I know. Perfect spot to visit every week.
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02-10-2019, 07:01 AM
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#44
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bir48die
My wife's ashes are under a tree that was planted for her at my church. .
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Some of my late wife's ashes are here, Blank, some in the Colorado River, and some her mom put in the 'Family Plot'.
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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02-10-2019, 07:25 AM
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#45
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Sarasota, FL & Vermont
Posts: 36,266
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brat
.... I ran the ash distribution option by the kids, they are adamantly opposed claiming they want a place to go. Little do they know that about 3 years after our passing their lives will be too full for visitation.
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For my Dad we did both. He died in March and we had a small memorial service that was just Mom, us kids and his friends and golf buddies in Florida where he was living at the time. He was cremated and "flew" home with me from Florida in sealed plastic bag in a cardboard box that was about 7"x7"x7" as I recall. Then we had a larger memorial service in July in Vermont where he grew up and lived most of his adult life with all the family and friends.
Most of the ashes are in a urn that is buried at the family gravesite. Interestingly, the cemetery considers an urn as only using 1/2 of a plot... a casket uses a whole plot. We did reserve some ashes that were scattered on the lake where their lakeside home is located.
I do occasionally stop by the family plot... my dad, grandfather and infant daughter are buried there and DW and I will be buried there along with an aunt and uncle. A close friend and neighbor's plot is right next to ours and DW's parents' plot is about 50' away.
__________________
If something cannot endure laughter.... it cannot endure.
Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Retired Jan 2012 at age 56
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02-10-2019, 07:41 AM
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#46
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 481
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I was in a similar situation....POA for my mother when she went into assisted living. She had about 7 years of $$ left. My plan was to wait until she had about 1-1.5 years left and then pre-pay. That’s because in our state, you can pre-pay the funeral at any point and it doesn’t count towards Medicaid. In fact, they encourage it when you apply. As it turned out, my mother passed away about 4 months before I had planned to go down and pre-pay.
It’s my understanding (and it seems logical, although I’m sure someone more in the business can provide better insight)....that prepaid funerals are more expensive than funerals paid at the moment. I’m sure the price is based on age and expected longevity....it is, after all, an insurance policy. Hence pre-paying a funeral you expect to happen within a year or do makes sense. Just not sure I’d pay one 5-10 years out?
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02-10-2019, 08:58 AM
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#47
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 7,002
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My husband is a veteran so he gets a free spot and mine will be 400. We chose cremation but you can be buried there too. They also give you a nice plaque. Cremation can be done here for 500. We will each have a celebration of life. Traditional Funerals are ridiculously expensive and not worth it.
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02-10-2019, 10:10 AM
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#48
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Washington State
Posts: 2,350
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KM
prepaid funerals are more expensive than funerals paid at the moment... Hence pre-paying a funeral you expect to happen within a year or do makes sense. Just not sure I’d pay one 5-10 years out?
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Hmm... I haven't been able to find any mention of prepaying costing more. I would think the opposite as inflation increases prices over time.
In any case, you don't really know if you have 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years unless you're having some kind of health issue with an estimated life span.
Prepaying would really simplify things when mom finally dies. All plans are made and all bills are paid. Sounds nice when there will be so many other things to worry about.
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02-10-2019, 10:24 AM
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#49
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 133
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KM
I was in a similar situation....POA for my mother when she went into assisted living. She had about 7 years of $$ left. My plan was to wait until she had about 1-1.5 years left and then pre-pay. That’s because in our state, you can pre-pay the funeral at any point and it doesn’t count towards Medicaid. In fact, they encourage it when you apply. As it turned out, my mother passed away about 4 months before I had planned to go down and pre-pay.
It’s my understanding (and it seems logical, although I’m sure someone more in the business can provide better insight)....that prepaid funerals are more expensive than funerals paid at the moment. I’m sure the price is based on age and expected longevity....it is, after all, an insurance policy. Hence pre-paying a funeral you expect to happen within a year or do makes sense. Just not sure I’d pay one 5-10 years out?
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You are incorrect. How it works example. You pre-pay 20 years ago and we placed money in insurance company used only by FH. The insurance pays about 2% growth on policy that funeral home is allowed to keep the growth, that is only way we can freeze price for family. Family NEVER pays a dime more for funeral home costs. We CAN NOT FREEZE out of funeral home cost such as cemetery, newspaper obit, minister fee, death Certificates, ect. Because we never know how much they will increase over time, however if you pay current cost for them, just pay the increase at the time of death. Very simple .
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02-10-2019, 10:47 AM
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#50
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 4,661
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst
We addressed it differently. Neither of us wants or expects a funeral with casket, viewing, body burial, gravestone, etc., although funds for a modest memorial service are accounted for in our Wills.
We are registered organ donors, and also registered with the State Board that oversees cadaver donations to medical schools, etc.
So, any parts that can be used, will go to those who can use them. Anything unusable will be cremated, not at our estate's expense.
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Ditto. The only expense we will have is if our family/friends choose to have a memorial service to scatter our ashes, which will be funded if so from our estate.
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02-10-2019, 11:33 AM
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#51
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Beaverton
Posts: 1,382
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BTW my wife’s dad is downstairs in the storage room
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02-10-2019, 12:09 PM
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#52
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Peru
Posts: 6,335
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This is one of the concerns that our entire family discussed together, along with our will. Everyone agreed.
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If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
--Dalai Lama XIV
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02-10-2019, 12:44 PM
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#53
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 2,232
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I haven't because I am not sure where I'll be when I die. But I've instructed DW and the kids what to do with me. Pretty simple really. Cremation, and like braumeister's folks, scattered in my favorite fishing spot, which happens to be about 1/2 mile straight off my dock. If they want to get fancy they can play Santana's Europa: Here's a preview
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02-10-2019, 12:46 PM
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#54
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 481
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Monterey298sc
You are incorrect. How it works example. You pre-pay 20 years ago and we placed money in insurance company used only by FH. The insurance pays about 2% growth on policy that funeral home is allowed to keep the growth, that is only way we can freeze price for family. Family NEVER pays a dime more for funeral home costs. We CAN NOT FREEZE out of funeral home cost such as cemetery, newspaper obit, minister fee, death Certificates, ect. Because we never know how much they will increase over time, however if you pay current cost for them, just pay the increase at the time of death. Very simple .
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Thank you for clarifying!
So you are saying a funeral home would charge the same amount to all three of these people:
- healthy 40 year old man pre-paying his funeral
- 87 year old man who just entered a nursing home
- person who just died
The funeral home gets to keep the “growth” on the insurance policy to cover the inflation of their costs that might occur between the purchase and the death...and the family just pays the inflation that occurs on costs not controlled by the funeral home. Correct?
Do you know if all funeral homes are required to operate this way? If so, then seems like we should all be going out now and pre-paying at today’s rate.
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02-10-2019, 12:59 PM
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#55
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 133
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KM
Thank you for clarifying!
So you are saying a funeral home would charge the same amount to all three of these people:
- healthy 40 year old man pre-paying his funeral
- 87 year old man who just entered a nursing home
- person who just died
The funeral home gets to keep the “growth” on the insurance policy to cover the inflation of their costs that might occur between the purchase and the death...and the family just pays the inflation that occurs on costs not controlled by the funeral home. Correct?
Do you know if all funeral homes are required to operate this way? If so, then seems like we should all be going out now and pre-paying at today’s rate.
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We FH DONT HAVE TO FREEZE the costs. Most do so you have to ask and get in writing that it is frozen.
Yes, we all are regulated by FTC. Federal Trade Commission. We all have to provide a general price list. Everyone pays the same as FTC requires us, to do. The law. We like that young people prepay, means future business is guaranteed. ��
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02-10-2019, 01:19 PM
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#56
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 9,422
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My parents both pre-paid and everything really was in place except an obit.
My question would be why not just have a life insurance policy to cover funeral costs instead of taken one out just for 10 to 15K?
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02-10-2019, 01:44 PM
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#57
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 133
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Quote:
Originally Posted by street
My parents both pre-paid and everything really was in place except an obit.
My question would be why not just have a life insurance policy to cover funeral costs instead of taken one out just for 10 to 15K?
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Of course you could and many of my family’s do. However since you did not pre pay at a Funeral home, nothing frozen .
I did a service 2 weeks ago for a family and they pre paid for there mother 12 yrs ago. Saved them 3000 on a full burial service over just using insurance at today prices. Works the same on any type of service . Any type of service will double in price every 10 years. A 2000 dollar cremation today will be 4000 or more in 10 yrs. and with cremation becoming more popular, cost will increase faster . Just like everyone wants to live on a lake or beach cost is higher. If its popular cost will increase faster.
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02-10-2019, 02:07 PM
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#58
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 13,202
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brat
I ran the ash distribution option by the kids, they are adamantly opposed claiming they want a place to go. Little do they know that about 3 years after our passing their lives will be too full for visitation.
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In my estate instructions I left a note for my son that he should do with my remains as he sees fit. If he wants a gravesite to visit or an urn to keep, great. Otherwise spread my ashes in the woods behind my house, or some place like that. If I feel otherwise later, I'll update it or pre-pay a plan. I've mentioned this to him and got no objection.
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02-10-2019, 02:15 PM
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#59
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 4,629
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I can certainly see the idea of pre-paying if you think you (or your parent) is on a glide path that runs out of money. Thanks to M298 for chiming in here.
I can also see making as many decisions as possible before you go, so the kids won't have to make those decisions. I'm especially concerned about them disagreeing on what "Dad would have wanted". Pre-arranging with a local FH may be the best way to tie up those details.
We bought cemetery plots last year. If we die suddenly, that's one decision the kids won't have to make. If we eventually decide we'd rather go the scatter the ashes route, then we can resell the plots.
I should probably write out more stuff today, just in case.
(My 38 year old daughter has written funeral instructions. Her fiance died suddenly a few years ago, and she wants to be ready.)
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02-10-2019, 02:27 PM
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#60
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: St. Charles
Posts: 3,903
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Independent
I should probably write out more stuff today, just in case.
(My 38 year old daughter has written funeral instructions. Her fiance died suddenly a few years ago, and she wants to be ready.)
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Wow! That would be difficult, and her response is quite logical.
DW has written out what she wants. I am in the category of - the funeral is for the living, do what makes sense at the time, though I have agreed on cremation.
Back to the OP: In the case of looking at medicare coverage in the future, I think a prepay makes perfect sense if it is within the medicare guidelines ( and it sounds like it is).
Regarding pre-paying for my (and DW) own: While I think we will still be local at the time, it is possible we would move out of the area when MIL passes (but God bless her, she is 88 and still going strong). So we will defer that for a while.
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