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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-26-2005, 04:57 PM   #21
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

I just got back from some mountain biking and hiking & I thought I would first respond again to some of the comments made. And they all have been very thoughtful – no offhanded remarks.
My comments are between the ****

azanon Don't fix something that isn't broke. 150K/year is a lot of money. ****It is, I grew up poor so I have a deep-seated fear of being poor again. One person said I was like someone who grew up during the Great Depression.****

Nords I agree with th-- a long vacation/sabbatical is the way to go… **** As I mentioned I did this more than 6 years ago. The problem now is that I have been in my current job for 6 years. So far I turned down one position and up for another position which I should get and would be even easier than what I do now. I have a TV in my office, internet and a staff of 13. So I don’t think I can take the time off. I need to make a decision now that will affect me for at least 1.5 years.****

Spanky If you are content (or happy) with work while collecting a healthy salary, you should continue working until you are no longer enjoy work. Your financial situation is sound and therefore the income should not be a major issue unless your life style demands a lot of income. As advised by others, start identify and engage in something else of interest to you. Life is all about balance between fun and work. *** I agree***

th I had a spreadsheet tracking my bonuses and stock options "Joysheet.XLS". Whenever I was pissed or having a bad day, I looked at the bottom line #'s, dynamically updated every minute. After a while I felt better. *** I do the same.***
__________________________________________________ ______________

So where does all this leave me? And I do have to give my answer to the person I discussed the position on Monday. If I say I want the position, in my mind I will be committing for at least another 1.5 years or until I am 51.5 of work. Will I go after the job or leave the company this summer (to my current boss).

The comments below sum up my quandary. Retire@40 point up the fact that I have been conditioned to work and it may be painful to change. DOG50 is on target that life is short and there aren’t any guarantees that I will be alive @ 52 or after. I will be very pissied if I get in a car accident at 51 and I’m still working. Th comment about “About Schmidt is also correct in a way. I don’t really connect nor have I bonded with the people at work. But I must be honest and say that I never connected with people outside of work either. I’ve posted a long time ago that I grew up poor and that the only way I got out of that situation was to put myself through school and work. Do you agree that most men don’t have really close friends as women do?

One way or another I believe I need to commit. I either need to commit to early retirement do it and learn another way of life or continue to work and build a life from there. I guess there is another path retire now and if I don’t like it go back to work.

I vaguely remember when I was in my 20s that once I had enough money I would quit, travel and do what I wanted to do. I did it when I was 44 but I went back to work. It wasn’t really conceivable to me not to go back to work.

When I was younger I used to look at all those in senior management who made a lot of money and asked: Why do they keep working? How many millions do they need? I have a better handle on the answer. They continue working because they don’t know what else to do.

Sometimes death is not as tragic as not knowing how to live. Jack Benny at Nat King Coles funeral.

_______________________________________

retire@40
You have been conditioned to keep doing what you have always done. You just have to come to the realization that there are other fun things to do in life besides work.

In some of my prior posts I described the "parable of the cave" and your situation parallels that story

DOG50 Another thing to keep in mind is that none of us are guaranteed old age. My brother retired at 50 but just passed away at age 56…..

th My interpretation of "about schmidt" was a little different.
It wasn’t that he wasn’t ready for retirement, it’s that he had no connection to anyone or anything outside of his work.
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-26-2005, 05:12 PM   #22
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Took eight weeks in both 2001 and 2002 and was mostly glad to get back to work when it was time. The catch was I undertook major renovation projects both times. Doing something different was good but I worked my rear off both times.

This September I am going to take four or five weeks and do mostly nothing. We will see how happy I am to return after that. Maybe I won't be there much longer. I still have my drop dead retirement date of September 2007 when I will turn 54.

Mostly I have the ability to separate work and non work. If someone asks me something about work on a weekend my most likely response is huh what?

Bruce
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-26-2005, 07:31 PM   #23
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Dex,

Good luck. Whatever decision that you make will be the correct one given the available info. Life is truely a journey.

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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-26-2005, 07:41 PM   #24
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Dex,

I understand completely how you feel. I just had this same conversation with a co-worker on Friday. I grew up very poor and eventually went to live with relatives at age 11. Consequently, I grew up feeling like a charity case and had an inferiority complex. (My relatives did not make me feel that way.) I have often felt alot of empathy with people who grew up in the Depression.

I am 52 years old and my co-worker was telling me that given my family history, he would take an early out if he were me and an early out was offered again this year. My paternal grandparents died at 32 and 45, my parents died at 61 and 63 and I had a brother die at 45 yrs old. I would love to be able to enjoy my retirement before I die. I am healthy so far, but it is in the back of my mind wondering how many more birthdays I will be able to enjoy. I told my co-worker that I want to make sure that I never have to depend of any person financially again in my life. I never want to be poor again. I would rather continue working the rest of my life and die at my desk, rather than have to worry about every single penny that I spent.

Good luck in your decision. I would think long and hard and be comfortable with your decision. Once it is made, I would try very hard not to look back and enjoy whatever it is you are doing!

Dreamer
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-27-2005, 03:19 AM   #25
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

I grew up comfortably middle class. My spouse grew up in poverty and lost a lot of close family at relatively
young ages. The experience profoundly impacted her
views on living, finances, and planning for the
(admittedly uncertain) future. We seldom agree on
handling of finances. But, she has her money and I have
mine. Responsibilities are divided equitably. This
situation can only end one way though. That should be interesting.

JG
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-27-2005, 04:22 AM   #26
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Quote:
I grew up poor so I have a deep-seated fear of being poor again. One person said I was like someone who grew up during the Great Depression.
and dreamer wrote:

Quote:
I never want to be poor again. I would rather continue working the rest of my life and die at my desk, rather than have to worry about every single penny that I spent.
I experience as well what both of you are saying and I too don't really have a solution for it. My thought Dex, for what it is worth, is to continue working for now and see how you feel in a year or two.
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-27-2005, 05:56 AM   #27
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Dex,
Keep working. Don't even think it, unless you're sure. When it's time, you will know. Further, LBYM, in fact, try to spend only what you know for sure you will have during retirement. Save the difference.

Read, Ernie Zelinski's "How to retire Wild, Happy, and Free. He discusses the other than financial aspects of retirement.

Good luck with your decision.
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-27-2005, 06:52 AM   #28
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

I agree with Eagle 43. LBYM is a key for most ERs.
I didn't do it myself, but that makes me a bit of a freak
in the world of "true" ER.

JG
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-27-2005, 07:40 AM   #29
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Here is an interesting arttcle about happiness:

Economists now agree: 'You can't buy happiness'
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/busine...ratrace18.html

My understanding is that money does not make you happy or unhappy. You can be poor but still feel happy. You can be rich but still be unhappy. In the same token, you can rich and be happy.

I guess we just need to find what really makes us happy! That's should be easy - right?
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-27-2005, 02:23 PM   #30
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

I think I'm just going to ramble here, but maybe someone will have had similar experiences. I'm 55, my husband is 59. I have been a mainframe programmer for 20 years (a teacher before that). The mainframe is going away and I pretty much hate what I'm doing now. I work with more and more 20 year olds who know VB, xml, JAVA, COM+, etc. Everyday I feel like I don't know what I'm doing and I hate it.

I've done a lot of research about career changes and I really don't find things that I can or want to do except those that pay less than 30k a year, lots below 20K. We have about 850K in investments and a house worth about 250k. We owe 65k on the mortgage. While we have the mortgage, we need about 50K a year to live on (we live in a city because of our work).

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is if I should resign and take some part time jobs. I can't develop other interests while I working full time, because I'm so exhausted by the time I get home, make dinner, etc. I feel like if I could just have a few months off, I'd be ok, but I know I won't get another job paying 70+ unless companies suddenly have a great need for mainframe programmers.

Anyway, that's my rambling after my Easter wine! Any insights?
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-27-2005, 04:27 PM   #31
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

If you are not just kidding, the answer is easy. Quit!

JG
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-27-2005, 06:13 PM   #32
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Smooch,

Are you saying that you are tired of being a mainframe programmer or you do not like programming or software development all together?

You can always take some time off. There is always needs for mainframe programmer on a contractual basis.

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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-27-2005, 07:01 PM   #33
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

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If you are not just kidding, the answer is easy. Quit!

JG

Who was this directed to?
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-27-2005, 07:15 PM   #34
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Dex,

I think JG might be referring to Smooch.

Spanky
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-28-2005, 04:16 PM   #35
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Spanky, I am not doing mainframe development (much). It's been replaced by web packages, being written in India. I always did like mainframe work. Perhaps looking into contract work is the answer. I haven't done that before. I've always been employed full time. Thanks for your response.
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-28-2005, 06:49 PM   #36
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Interesting thread...

I ER'd at 49 and have never looked back. My career was good to me, but it was a means to an end (can you say ER?)

My cousin (M, late 50's) is contemplating retirement now, he just went to Margarita IL, Venezuela; to check out a possible ER spot. He said he liked it a lot, but kept comming back to one stumbling block "I don't know what I am going to do all day long..."

We talked about that before, and I mistakenly offered suggestions like: hang out at a garage (he is in to motorcycles) volunteer to teach english, etc. Basically, he is just not ready to give up work-and there is nothing wrong with that. Some folks love their jobs and I say more power to 'em. If one's work is truly one's passions in life, why stop? And do keep on paying those payroll taxes, thank you very much!

However, in my cousin's situation, he claims to be "completely tired of workplace bull s%%% and can't wait to get out..." I think it's just that he is afraid to be "with himself" with out the buffer of work to insulate him from what ever issues he doesn't want to deal with.

ER is kinda interesting because one has to come to terms with ones self. No more "I have no time for______"

Personally speaking, now I have time and man I love it! Just one guy's take on adjusting to ER.

Lance
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-28-2005, 07:03 PM   #37
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

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He said he liked it a lot, but kept comming back to one stumbling block "I don't know what I am going to do all day long..."

We talked about that before, and I mistakenly offered suggestions like: hang out at a garage (he is in to motorcycles) volunteer to teach english, etc. Basically, he is just not ready to give up work-and there is nothing wrong with that. Some folks love their jobs and I say more power to 'em. *If one's work is truly one's passions in life, why stop?
I really don't think most people love their work. I think they are so conditioned to go to work all day, they don't know how to uncondition themselves. There are very few passionate jobs out there. I can see singers, musicians, artists, and any job that can also double as a hobby. But for the most part, a job is something that just sucks the life out of you and consumes the best years of your life.
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-28-2005, 08:01 PM   #38
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

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I really don't think most people love their work. *I think they are so conditioned to go to work all day, they don't know how to uncondition themselves. .
Hey Retire@40,

Don't know how? Or, down deep, afraid/don't want to "uncondition" themselves?

You could be right, but I still maintain that if people can "condition" themselves to work, they can also "unconditon" as well. IMHO.

Lance


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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-28-2005, 08:50 PM   #39
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

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You could be right, but I still maintain that if people can "condition" themselves to work, they can also "unconditon" as well. IMHO.
The ones with intestinal fortitude can. Only the ones with intestinal fortitude.
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem
Old 03-28-2005, 10:06 PM   #40
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Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

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Your time is limited and uncertain. *Even waiting to achieve FI is a big risk IMHO.
JG
This is an interesting viewpoint. Just how would one retire without reaching FI?

It seems there are only 4 ways to live (ie avoid starvation, have a roof over your head, etc) These can be pure, or the four ways can be mixed.

You earn a living; you live off hoarded savings and earnings from that savings (which would include SS, pensions, etc.; you sponge off others earnings and savings; or you steal.

If you are retired, then #1, earning a living is out. If you are not FI, then #2, living off savings is out.

That leaves sponging and/or stealing.

Maybe OK for some, but it beats me why anyone would want to advertise it on a message board

Mikey
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