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Old 01-23-2016, 03:19 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by Lsbcal View Post
I'm not much of a socializer but have made more attempts to start up conversations and become a good listener and positive contributor.
Yes I think that last point is a good one. Staying busy and volunteering and all that is good but it is probably the effects of our relationships that really have the major positive influence. Meet new people, make new friends and become reacquainted with old ones, quality time with family and so on. Retirement can really have a negative impact on one's contact with people and if you don't have an extended network of acquaintances then you may have to work on it. And of course skill sets in this area vary quite dramatically.
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Old 01-23-2016, 04:15 PM   #42
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Just retired at 60, have a nice fun part time flexible side gig that will pay most of my and DW living expenses, pay for my electronic toys and give me a nice expense account for entertaining for
about two days work a week.
Also continuing a couple of volunteer jobs chairing a college board and and the board of a charity foundation that are not paid. Plenty of savings and investments to fully fund a nonworking retirement but that concern of not having enough interesting interactions led me to start out with the 2 day per week amount of work. I too received a similar warning from my brother in law, an extremely wealthy retired mega executive who dearly misses the frenetic pace of life in the C suite.
I don't think I will, but I have left my options open to keep my new career small or to scale it into something big.
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Old 01-24-2016, 07:13 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by rayinpenn View Post

I am generally a pretty happy person and enjoy the simple things. I must admit to a bit of worry when I hear all the negativity from retirees. What's the magic formula?
Wherever you go, there you are. I suspect you will be fine in retirement.
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He said "You're what, 64?" - I answered I'll be 62 in July.
Old 01-24-2016, 08:29 AM   #44
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He said "You're what, 64?" - I answered I'll be 62 in July.

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Originally Posted by Bestwifeever View Post
+1. And someone who has to work at being happy would probably be happier being unhappy.

How I work at staying happy... IMHO. Is it work?
1) I avoid depressing movies - I like movies with a positive message (Capra Esk if you will)
2) I work at keeping healthy - if your body is feeling good then your mind will likely follow. I walk I exercise.
3) I count my many blessings often
4) I take pride in my work, I enjoy what I do.
5) I don't let my age limit my technological abilities... I embrace new technology
6) I accept people for who they are: even the abrasive. I won't work for a nasty boss I'll find a way to get away or change the situation.
7) I am not a slave to toys or stuff... Simple vehicle, no boat, no debt. LBYM!
8) I wear a timex weekender I don't give a crap about my neighbors BMW, Rolex or whatever.
9) I am outside all that I can when the weather allows.. I enjoy mowing the lawn.
10) I can sit on a dock with a fishing rod, some bait and a lawn chair and have a great time. I can do the same with a good book.

I guess my method for working at being happy is to simplify....




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Old 01-24-2016, 08:36 AM   #45
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I think it's human nature to mostly forget the bad 'stuff' in the past and remember only the good. When I was in basic training at Fort Polk Louisiana it was the worse time in my life, yet now I look back with a few fond memories. I suspect some retiree's look back at at their employment days and remember mostly the good times, but forget about the bad and thus look back with some remorse.

I also have a 50 year old friend that continues re-living his high school days. I recall a college age women telling him "if you hadn't gone to high school you would have nothing to say".

As for me, I'm 'retired' and can't find the time to read a book. On a recent trip to Russia I told my shipmates I was "unemployed but not looking for work"
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Old 01-24-2016, 09:07 AM   #46
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Love your list, rayinpenn! My comments are in blue:

Quote:
Originally Posted by rayinpenn View Post
How I work at staying happy... IMHO. Is it work?
1) I avoid depressing movies - I like movies with a positive message (Capra Esk if you will) Me too, and I extend this to limiting my exposure to "doom n gloom" news and opinions. I don't need to hear depressing predictions of market conditions, war, disturbing laws that have been introduced but not passed, or other disturbing predictions; I only want to know the facts of what is going on so I can make my own predictions.

2) I work at keeping healthy - if your body is feeling good then your mind will likely follow. I walk I exercise. +1 Exercise is so important to one's state of mind.

3) I count my many blessings often Yes, me too. I have a lot to count.

4) I take pride in my work, I enjoy what I do. You may find this is unnecessary after you retire, because you won't be working any more. I take pride in maintaining the culture and values that are important to me, and having lived a life I can be proud of, and leave it at that.

5) I don't let my age limit my technological abilities... I embrace new
technology I try, although I still don't see any reason to learn to text! My friends are all older too, and do not text so there is nobody to text to.

6) I accept people for who they are: even the abrasive. I won't work for a nasty boss I'll find a way to get away or change the situation. This won't be necessary either after you retire. You can focus on being around people you like and reduce your exposure to jerks.

7) I am not a slave to toys or stuff... Simple vehicle, no boat, no debt. LBYM! Yes, along with contentment!

8) I wear a timex weekender I don't give a crap about my neighbors BMW, Rolex or whatever. Pretty much the same as #8.

9) I am outside all that I can when the weather allows.. I enjoy mowing the lawn. I'm glad somebody does. I can think of other things I'd rather do, so I hire someone to mow my lawn.

10) I can sit on a dock with a fishing rod, some bait and a lawn chair and have a great time. I can do the same with a good book. Yep. And in retirement, you can do this as often as you wish.
I would probably add

11) exploring new and different interests as they occur to me,

12) being respectful of myself by not living in a pigsty while not being obsessive about housework,

13) giving myself a break such as some R&R now and then when I need it, even if I don't know exactly why I do, and

14) spending time with my sweetie every day.

15) Also, for me (not for everyone), a regular schedule helps, eating and sleeping at about the same times every day.
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Old 01-24-2016, 09:08 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rayinpenn View Post
How I work at staying happy... IMHO. Is it work?
1) I avoid depressing movies - I like movies with a positive message (Capra Esk if you will)
2) I work at keeping healthy - if your body is feeling good then your mind will likely follow. I walk I exercise.
3) I count my many blessings often
4) I take pride in my work, I enjoy what I do.
5) I don't let my age limit my technological abilities... I embrace new technology
6) I accept people for who they are: even the abrasive. I won't work for a nasty boss I'll find a way to get away or change the situation.
7) I am not a slave to toys or stuff... Simple vehicle, no boat, no debt. LBYM!
8) I wear a timex weekender I don't give a crap about my neighbors BMW, Rolex or whatever.
9) I am outside all that I can when the weather allows.. I enjoy mowing the lawn.
10) I can sit on a dock with a fishing rod, some bait and a lawn chair and have a great time. I can do the same with a good book.

I guess my method for working at being happy is to simplify....




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You have said you are a happy person, and these are things you do that make you happy--I don't think you have to work at it. Not much makes an unhappy person happy. An unhappy person would notice the bugs while they are outdoors or be mad because the fish aren't biting or get upset at a new computer being different. Perhaps the person who told you not to retire is naturally unhappy.

Sort of interesting article about happiness: http://www.fastcompany.com/3029690/w...ng-you-unhappy

It includes links to a TEDtalk about synthetic happiness and other site, and this:

Quote:
Kennon Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky have developed a two-part model for staying happier longer:

Keep appreciating what you've got.
Introduce some variety into your life.
Pretty easy steps
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Old 01-24-2016, 09:39 AM   #48
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rayinpenn and W2R, I love your lists, especially:

avoiding depressing movies, negative people, and gloomy news reports and outlooks. Added to that, nasty political commentary (which is IMHO just another manifestation of negative people)...There are some people I just prefer to avoid, so I do. There are some conversations I'd rather not have, so I avoid them.

As my Dad's health deteriorated, his mantra became "I'm going to focus on the things I can still do, and not dwell on the things I used to be able to do, but can't do anymore"...he succeeded quite well at that. He was a good example for me in how to live through the process of aging, and, eventually, what comes after that.
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He said "You're what, 64?" - I answered I'll be 62 in July.
Old 01-24-2016, 11:38 AM   #49
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He said "You're what, 64?" - I answered I'll be 62 in July.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HadEnuff
I'm going to focus on the things I can still do, and not dwell on the things I used to be able to do, but can't do anymore

Love it...just wonderful


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Old 01-26-2016, 04:10 AM   #50
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Snowstorm

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Originally Posted by target2019 View Post
Leaving the cold weather region probably adds years to your life. That's my first thought as inches of snow are piling up.
I agree about the added years.
DW and I spend winters in FL. While watching the weekend news, we heard that 40 people had died so far in the snowstorm. "Those people would still be alive if they were in FL." I said.
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Old 01-26-2016, 05:43 AM   #51
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I was happy when I was working and I guess I'm happy retired. I think it's more my disposition than the environment.

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Old 01-26-2016, 06:46 AM   #52
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I went out to dinner with one of my ex-employees that worked for me for many years. Super sharp guy. He is 63 and he was laid off about a year and a half ago. I was not surprised at his boredom and discontent in retirement. He loved coming into work. High energy guy. Didn't really have any hobbies that I know of so I kind of could have predicted his outcome. He was drinking pretty heavily so not sure if he was really serious but he asked me if I would be interested in opening a bar with him so he could have something to do. Not really feeling the bar thing since I am usually in bed lowering my eyelids around 8:30 most nights.
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Old 01-26-2016, 06:48 AM   #53
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Love all the replies here.

For most, work has a way of governing your worldview. You wake up, dress up, rush to make coffee, fight the traffic, make it on time, sit behind the desk, keep user policy in mind while using the computer, put up with shenanigans, etc. Work has laid out the path for you. At the end of the day, you're exhausted.

Today, I wake up anytime, read what I want, step outside, breath the air, admire the beautiful blue sky and the morning sunlight and I'm still in my pjs. I go in the house, enjoy a cup of coffee, access what I want on the computer, kiss the beautiful wife as she walks out the door grumbling that she would like to be in my shoes soon. As soon as she's out the door, turn the music on, listen to Pharrell Williams and dance the morning away. Yeah, this is my world now. Anyone want to join me for a hike later this morning? And at end of the day, I'm exhilarated. "AGAIN, AGAIN!" as my grandson would say.

Now a days, it doesn't take much to make me happy because I realize my days are numbered. I can just look at my 3 yo jovial grandson and we laugh our heads off. I'm working hard on being like him.

When I worked, I worked at being satisfied for a job well done. Now, I just work at enjoying every moment in any circumstances. "Attitude determines your altitude", someone has said.
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Old 01-26-2016, 11:19 AM   #54
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I went out to dinner with one of my ex-employees that worked for me for many years. Super sharp guy. He is 63 and he was laid off about a year and a half ago. I was not surprised at his boredom and discontent in retirement. He loved coming into work. High energy guy. Didn't really have any hobbies that I know of so I kind of could have predicted his outcome. He was drinking pretty heavily so not sure if he was really serious but he asked me if I would be interested in opening a bar with him so he could have something to do. Not really feeling the bar thing since I am usually in bed lowering my eyelids around 8:30 most nights.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that going into the bar business with a guy who may have a drinking problem is probably a bad idea.
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Old 01-26-2016, 11:25 AM   #55
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Some people need to work to keep occupied or feel useful, I visit this site because I want to get useful advice for my early retirement, I dont think boredom will bring me my problem.
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Old 01-26-2016, 11:27 AM   #56
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He was drinking pretty heavily so not sure if he was really serious but he asked me if I would be interested in opening a bar with him so he could have something to do.
That seems a lot to ask of someone just to secure your own personal entertainment. If he brings it up again suggest a job as a bartender would occupy his time without you having to invest any money.
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Old 01-26-2016, 11:32 AM   #57
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62 and retired for 28 years and my best advice is to practice having children as often as possible.
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Old 01-26-2016, 11:45 AM   #58
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He's 84. Maybe "I wish I was back at work" is his version of the dementia trope, "I want to go home," which I've read really means, "I want to be the way I used to be."

.
He's 84. Maybe he didn't know he'd live this long so it's about "don't retire too early".

But he also could've died at 66, or 74; I wonder what he'd say just before that moment? Maybe he'd say "retire as soon as you can!"

I had a close friend who retired at 63 and died six months later. His thoughts: "and I worked all my life....some retirement eh?"
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Old 01-26-2016, 07:10 PM   #59
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I knew when I retired at age 58 that I would want to do some p.t. work. About 8 months after retiring that is what I did and 4 years later it is the perfect world for me. Of course I can work from home in my pj's or while traveling, etc. For me it's the best of both worlds.
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Old 01-26-2016, 07:15 PM   #60
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We all are different. I always find it interesting how often we don't take what others say as true representations of their feelings and instead come up with stories of what they "really mean" based on our own feelings. We each need to understand what drives us personally and make decisions for our own lives with that knowledge. ER is great for some of us. But maybe the wrong decision for others.
+1, well said. For me personally, retiring early (in my mid 50s) has been WONDERFUL.
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