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Hear About the Needy UWS Family?
Old 12-09-2007, 03:05 PM   #1
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Hear About the Needy UWS Family?

Tis the season for giving, so if any of you are inclined to be generous, I didn't want you to miss this opportunity:

Family Begs for $1 Million To Buy Fancy Apartment - News Bloggers

Supposedly this is for real. A family in NYC (the Upper West Side) is asking for help from "a philanthropic, wealthy person who wouldn't miss a million bucks." They want to remain in the UWS and buy a 3 BR/2 BA apartment. They claim they can afford $600 to $700K, but that this wouldn't allow them to get their apartment. They are asking for help so they can remain in the UWS and "continue contributing to the community."

Maybe if they are gifted with an apartment, they can early retire, too!

In my next life, I'm coming back with their attitude of entitlement and chutzpah!
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Old 12-09-2007, 03:21 PM   #2
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If it's for real, I guess they thought no harm in trying? They should start an Internet paypal account. I've seen news articles where people are actually having their cc bills paid that way. (well at least one young lady).
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Old 12-09-2007, 04:13 PM   #3
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I sort of miss the days when people would be ashamed to do something like this.
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Old 12-09-2007, 05:46 PM   #4
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Good cheap entertainment...I love folks like this!!
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Old 12-10-2007, 08:08 AM   #5
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These people should be ashamed of themselves asking for 1 million $$$$ just does not seem like a necessity. Especially when there are so many homeless people and families in the U.S.A

Maybe they should move to another part of the country where they can buy a nice home for about $250k After they finish buying the home they can use the remaining $450K to continue their work with charity.

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Old 12-10-2007, 11:17 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by tangomonster View Post
Tis the season for giving, so if any of you are inclined to be generous, I didn't want you to miss this opportunity:

Family Begs for $1 Million To Buy Fancy Apartment - News Bloggers

Supposedly this is for real. A family in NYC (the Upper West Side) is asking for help from "a philanthropic, wealthy person who wouldn't miss a million bucks." They want to remain in the UWS and buy a 3 BR/2 BA apartment. They claim they can afford $600 to $700K, but that this wouldn't allow them to get their apartment. They are asking for help so they can remain in the UWS and "continue contributing to the community."

Maybe if they are gifted with an apartment, they can early retire, too!

In my next life, I'm coming back with their attitude of entitlement and chutzpah!
For most of my career, I managed a MegaCorp foundation and handled all the charitable giving for the company. Believe it or not we received many similar letters like the one from the UWS family. We actually had a file for these kinds of pleas -- we called them the "you have it, I want it, so give it to me" file.

The most memorable of these for me was the one from the father in Greenwich, CT who made a series of really bad investments and apparently was on the verge of bankruptcy. He was asking flat-out for $1.5 million. He claimed that he already had to cancel his kid's riding lessons and sell one of his expensive foreign cars and didn't want to have to sell any of the others (I think he had 8 or 10. Cars, not kids.) He claimed that he was terrified that he might have to move the family to a smaller house -- albeit still in Fairfield County. But the most "touching" part of his plea was the idea that his child might have to attend -- shudder!!! -- a state college rather than Dad's alma mater (an Ivy League school) because Dad raided the kid's trust fund to cover the losses. I remember him going on and on about how the kid would never have any success in life if he had to settle for the state school. (As the self-financed graduate of a state school, I did have to bite my tongue on this part!)

The letter was hand written on very fine stationery, and when we first read it, my staff and I thought that it was a practical joke. Just for the heck of it, though, I checked it out and found out the guy was serious as all get out. He really truly believed that he and his family were accustomed to a certain standard of living and thus, DESERVED to continue to live that way no matter what. When I talked with him, he was confident that some wealthy person or foundation would understand his situation and bail him out. He told me that he sent the same letter to dozens of people, including some of his old fraternity and club members, and he had no sense of shame at all about the mess he created. His attitude was like "these things happen, oh well. Someone will pay my way out of this."

We turned him down. Every now and then I wonder whatever happened to him. Maybe he's on the UWS now??
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Old 12-10-2007, 03:41 PM   #7
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I laughed when we got requests for computer donations, from upper middle class families. But Achiever's story takes the caks. How did you manage to avoid laughing in his face when you were talking to him?
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Old 12-10-2007, 04:09 PM   #8
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And I was just about to ask the people on this board to send me some $$$ for my trip to Europe, otherwise I won't be able to fly first class like I'm suppose to...
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Old 12-10-2007, 05:06 PM   #9
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I laughed when we got requests for computer donations, from upper middle class families. But Achiever's story takes the caks. How did you manage to avoid laughing in his face when you were talking to him?
I was just so taken aback at his attitude. I mean, the guy really, really thought that someone out there would whip out the checkbook and bail him out -- you know, maybe he looked at it like a really wealthy version of the "need a penny, take a penny" trays I see in various stores.

After I hung up, though, we had a real good laugh at this guy's expense. His letter was on our department bulletin board for a long time. Crazy.
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Old 12-10-2007, 05:25 PM   #10
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I am reminded of a few years back when another tenant that shared nearby office space had the wonderful idea of all of us getting together and providing Christmas for a less fortunate family....an outstanding idea that would have been less taxing on any individual and yet between all of us, we would have provided more than any of us could individually.....


One of the girls was to pick up the list of the family's needs and we would all get together to see who might do what.....and then I saw the list

These people were trying to fill their WANTS and NOTHING on the list would I have placed in the NEED category.....Video recorders, cell phones, LEATHER jackets....and hand held video games for the poor, poor children ......things that MY family didn't even own at the time.....

After offering my HUMBLE opinion, the folks in my office decided not to participate (imagine that)....and I took them all out to eat instead
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Old 12-10-2007, 11:19 PM   #11
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I did an adopt a family thing for the holidays, and the requests were from a family teenagers who asked for designer clothes. I ended up shopping at a discount clothing store that had designer clothes because I promised to fulfill it, and my rationalization was that this might be their only opportunity for nice clothes and they were at that age going to high school where you're judged by your clothes. However, after that, I requested families with young children, and this year I'm not doing it at all.
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Old 12-11-2007, 01:12 PM   #12
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I forwarded the link to the article to my wife and asked her if we should help them out. She declined.

Mike D.
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Old 12-11-2007, 02:10 PM   #13
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I did an adopt a family thing for the holidays, and the requests were from a family teenagers who asked for designer clothes. I ended up shopping at a discount clothing store that had designer clothes because I promised to fulfill it, and my rationalization was that this might be their only opportunity for nice clothes and they were at that age going to high school where you're judged by your clothes. However, after that, I requested families with young children, and this year I'm not doing it at all.
It's for this exact reason why we always adopt a senior resident of one of the local assisted living/nursing/group homes. They're thrilled to get bars of soap...new slippers...a robe and/or p.j.'s...books of crossword/Suduko/find a word puzzles. I don't think we've ever spent more than $35 or so, and the appreciation from some of these often otherwise forgotten folks is heartfelt and moving. Really helps to keep alive the spirit of the season!
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Old 12-11-2007, 08:16 PM   #14
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It's for this exact reason why we always adopt a senior resident of one of the local assisted living/nursing/group homes. They're thrilled to get bars of soap...new slippers...a robe and/or p.j.'s...books of crossword/Suduko/find a word puzzles. I don't think we've ever spent more than $35 or so, and the appreciation from some of these often otherwise forgotten folks is heartfelt and moving. Really helps to keep alive the spirit of the season!
Oh very wise!!! I spent $90 that first year! Thanks for the idea! I'm going to do some research to see if there is a need in my area.
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Old 12-11-2007, 08:20 PM   #15
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Drew Peterson, the ex-police officer who is suspected of killing wife #3 and possibly #4, has a website and is asking for funds to help with his legal fees. <--- hope that icon is okay to use. That's pretty bold.
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Old 12-12-2007, 08:57 AM   #16
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One of the last years I was chained to the plow the office decided to send presents to a single mother group. They made their wish lists- listen their age and age and sex of the babies. Most wishes were for the babies, things like clothes or a snowsuit. One girl wanted a gold ring and listed the size, another wanted a video game system both of which were not gotten but we had a ball shopping for the babies.

but I have even a better story for you. Had a relative who was abandoned by the boyfriend leaving her with two small children. She went to apply for food stamps and welfare in the Escalade. Duh. Her mom told me how humiliating it was for her. When she was turned down I suggested a food pantry- they said that was far too low for her to consider, but I suggested when she got back on her feet she could donate back. They got enough people to feel sorry for them and had lots of donations of food and grocery gift cards.
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Old 12-12-2007, 10:58 AM   #17
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Never ceases to amaze me how some people have such an incredible sense of unearned entitlement...geesh!!!
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Old 12-12-2007, 12:00 PM   #18
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Never ceases to amaze me how some people have such an incredible sense of unearned entitlement...geesh!!!
And the really sad part is that this detracts attention from those that are truly needy and need a helping hand up, or even a plain old hand-out.

I know these are just anecdotal stories, they may not reflect the larger reality, but they are in sync with my experience also. It makes you wonder.

My wife works in a school district, and it's happened more than once that we will be out to dinner and she starts chatting with one of the wait staff that she seems to know. Later, discreetly, she will tell me about how that person is an immigrant, working two jobs, and has some of the nicest, hard-working, politest kids in the school - and they *never* ask for any assistance in any form. Yet, she knows people just back from their fancy vacations that are filling out the forms for free lunches (apparently there is no fact checking? - or maybe it is based on 'earned income', in which case we probably qualify?), or asking for this or that to be paid for them.

Arggggggg.

I've also heard these stories from a landlord I know. That landlord works at a local charitable organization, and knows some of the other charity workers at other orgs. Some of the people looking for 'help' (her tenants) have plenty of money for 'toys', but they make the rounds from one charity to another after each gets a little tired and suspicious of all the requests.

Double Arggggggg.

-ERD50
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Old 12-13-2007, 01:38 PM   #19
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Later, discreetly, she will tell me about how that person is an immigrant, working two jobs, and has some of the nicest, hard-working, politest kids in the school - and they *never* ask for any assistance in any form.
Yup, many times the ones who don't ask for help are the neediest and they make it work. Maybe we just need to discreetly notice and help them instead. This year, instead of doing the adopt a family, I'm doing helping out a family I "know" from the internet. I've known her for about 10 years from postings, and many of the other people on the same board has met her (so we know she's legitimate). Her husband recently left her w/their 5 kids. I know she uses her money wisely and don't have a lot of it, and although her husband is helping out, he's in a field where there's cyclical work, so he doesn't have a lot to offer either... since he's supporting another woman!
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