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Hello Operator?
Old 02-23-2013, 02:07 PM   #1
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Hello Operator?

Evidently from our friends across the pond...

HELLO, OPERATOR’.


ANOTHER CHAPTER OF "THEY WALK AMONG US AND THEY VOTE !!!


Actual call centre conversations!

Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Does the policy name give you a clue?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes.. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland .....'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on..'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK..'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.
So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time.I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. Thisis a true story from the Word-Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department..............
Needless tosay the Help Desk employeewas fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):


Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect ...'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type..'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall..
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer..'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No...'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't...'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'




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Old 02-23-2013, 03:48 PM   #2
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Thanks, I really needed the laugh today!!
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Old 02-23-2013, 04:32 PM   #3
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I absolutely LOVED Word Perfect, it is too bad that Office creamed them. Back in the day of user manuals theirs was a classic.
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:23 AM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brat View Post
I absolutely LOVED Word Perfect, it is too bad that Office creamed them. Back in the day of user manuals theirs was a classic.
And remember when Lotus 1-2-3 was ubiquitous? And then poof...
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No one agrees with other people's opinions; they merely agree with their own opinions -- expressed by somebody else. Sydney Tremayne
Retired Jun 2011 at age 57

Target AA: 60% equity funds / 35% bond funds / 5% cash
Target WR: Approx 2.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:39 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack View Post
And remember when Lotus 1-2-3 was ubiquitous? And then poof...
Talk about "poof". Remember VisiCalc? I used that before Lotus revolutionized the spreadsheet.

I still use Lotus 123. Just can't bring myself to use Excel. Maybe it's because they keep on changing it. One of these days I'll migrate to some free office product spreadsheet.
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:47 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelB View Post
Talk about "poof". Remember VisiCalc? I used that before Lotus revolutionized the spreadsheet.
Yes, For along time Lotus Symphony and Wordperfect were our standard desktop apps. Then somehow MS office got in. Once all your documents are in a proprietary format you can't escape. I actually used to use Runoff on the unix systems ( yes that was a long time ago )

BTW... The WP help call has been around a while as a joke

snopes.com: Too Stupid to Own a Computer
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:52 AM   #7
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Although Snopes says the story has been around since 1996, I first heard it (at least an extremely similar version) in 1989.
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:57 AM   #8
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I think 96 was the internet version. I remember it earlier from usenet traffic and compuserve WP forum, way back when.
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