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Helping a friend find a new home
Old 05-03-2014, 05:36 PM   #1
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Helping a friend find a new home

My friend, Mary, decided it was time to consider a move to an Assisted Living Facility (ALF). She is 93 and lives nearly independently in a one-bedroom apartment (as she has for 23 years) in our 55+ apartment complex. She used to live next door to us on the second floor but now lives on the first floor in the neighboring building.

In the last month, she has hired a helper to be available when she is showering, to help her do her shopping and to take her on errands. She quit driving three years ago. The helper comes twice per week for 2 hours each visit at $15 per hour. This helper spent years with another of our residents who recently went to a nursing home at 104 y/o. Other friends and neighbors help her on the other days of the week. For example, she called DH to come open a jar yesterday and today I took out her trash. Another neighbor takes her grocery shopping or shops for her, as required.

For approximately four months, we have been looking at local ALF's. Mary is a devout Catholic, and the woman who brings her Holy Communion told her about a Catholic-affiliated facility that was about to open. We made an appointment to take a tour on Thursday but Mary had an upset stomach when it was time to go so I went on my own.

After running a few errands I reported back to her on my visit. I told her I thought the rooms looked great and she needed to take a look for herself. By then, she was feeling much better so we called and made an appointment to tour later in the day. She loved it too and put down a deposit (only $1000) on a room.

She is very happy and so am I. We are both relieved she found something she loves and is within her budget. The best part is the facility is only 1.5 miles from the apartment so it will be easy to go visit her. Her son is coming from PA next week to visit for Mother's Day so he can see his mom's new digs, too! They had talked about her moving to an ALF in PA but they are just too expensive. In addition, Mary has lived in Florida nearly 30 years and she's doesn't really want to live in the ice and snow again.

It's great she decided to do this before she 'had' to and we are looking forward to her move which should be in the next 45-60 days.
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Old 05-03-2014, 07:25 PM   #2
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Good for her for staying independent until 93 years old before finally deciding it's time to get some help. And good for you for being so kind to help her find a nice place. I hope to be independent until 93 years old, but I'm not counting on it!
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Old 05-03-2014, 09:50 PM   #3
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Yes, she is a case study in how to do it right. She has also had the good fortune to live among people who care about her and watch over her. She might have had to move north to be near her son in PA without the community support which developed around her. He cannot tolerate the heat (smoker with breathing issues) so he would never move to Florida.
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Old 05-04-2014, 09:50 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Buckeye View Post
Yes, she is a case study in how to do it right. She has also had the good fortune to live among people who care about her and watch over her. She might have had to move north to be near her son in PA without the community support which developed around her. He cannot tolerate the heat (smoker with breathing issues) so he would never move to Florida.
FL is much more elder friendly than PA. When DF moved back there and dementia set in, we learned how ill equipped that part of the state was to deal with elder's medical issues.

Good choice, and great support system.
MRG
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Old 05-04-2014, 09:55 AM   #5
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The size of the 'memory care' business is eye-opening. The facility Mary is moving to has one floor of Assisted Living and three floors of memory care. They are opening a second facility soon and I think it's only memory care. I didn't realize the scope of the problem/need.
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