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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 04:20 PM   #61
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by SecondCor521

On my list, there are 40 criteria, of which my ex-wife meets 30. However, out of my fundamental must haves, she only (currently) meets 3 out of 6.
: : :

My own list would have only 4 items:

She likes to do it; she doesn't poop in the bed; she can tolerate me; I can tolerate her.

These four seem more or less insurmountable, mostly failing on #3.

Ha
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 04:21 PM   #62
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

What if you invested in some rubber sheets and relaxed #2?
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 04:22 PM   #63
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Steve- I am really sorry to hear of your wife's troubles. She is lucky to have such a strong and loving guy in her corner.

Best wishes to both of you.

Ha
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 04:28 PM   #64
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
: : :

My own list would have only 4 items:

She likes to do it; she doesn't poop in the bed; she can tolerate me; I can tolerate her.

These four seem more or less unsurmountable, mostly failing on #3.

Ha
Make that seven musts...

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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 04:42 PM   #65
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
: : :

My own list would have only 4 items:

She likes to do it; she doesn't poop in the bed; she can tolerate me; I can tolerate her.

These four seem more or less unsurmountable, mostly failing on #3.

Ha
Heck, I couldn't tolerate me.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 04:44 PM   #66
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

SteveR,
I, too, am sorry about your wife having been ill. I have missed your posts and remembered you mentioning that she has had some health problems.

My father was house-bound for 13 years after a heart attack and several strokes--paralyzed on one side of his body, and got a leg amputated on the other side. Our house was not made for wheelchair mobility so he would need to be carried by "houseboys" from one room to another.

My mom told me that she knew that when they were married in 1944 that he loved her more than she did him, but in the end she said she proved her love by staying with him and caring for him all those years. She would sometimes find it hard because my dad could become demanding and unreasonable out of frustration but she was patient with him for the most part, and she was also able to run their little business and keep food on the table and a roof above the house.

Hang in there and receive my wishes for strength and patience and better days.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 05:09 PM   #67
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

#2... Stop it, your killing me!!
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 05:44 PM   #68
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
: : :

My own list would have only 4 items:

She likes to do it; she doesn't poop in the bed; she can tolerate me; I can tolerate her.

These four seem more or less unsurmountable, mostly failing on #3.

Ha
Are you rigid about that poop in the bed thing? or would you consider compromising?
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 06:06 PM   #69
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgeeeee
Are you rigid about that poop in the bed thing? or would you consider compromising?
Will have to consider. But I know a deal breaker is woman on top peeing on me. Especially outdoors.

But I do think of myself as a flexible guy.

Ha
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 06:39 PM   #70
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

OK....lists??....here's my partial list....

1 ) Finances equal OR better than mine (including credit score)

2 ) Sense of humor equal or even more disgusting than mine

3 ) As sarcastic as I am...or more so

4 ) Will take ME out to dinner ocassionally (or more often than that)

5 ) Non-smoker....unless she smokes cigars...and shares them

6 ) Doesn't care if we NEVER get married

7 ) Would rather be outdoors more than indoors

8 ) Necessity of being physically attractive declines the higher her net worth is
(i.e. - Gorgeous but moderate net worth...OK! Butt-Ugly but filthy rich....OK!)

9 ) MUST love garlic, hot peppers, spicy food, dead critter on the Bar-B, etc

10 ) Can not only tolerate me being a smart a**....but will encourage it!!!


The chance of me hooking up with my PERFECT woman....Pretty freakin' slim!!!

Oh yeah, one more thing....NO dependents....unless it's a dog!!! (NO exceptions)
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 06:45 PM   #71
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Gosh Goonie I fit all but #9 of your list, too bad I'm taken

Actually that looks like a list I'd compile for my dream man which is pretty scarey.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 06:46 PM   #72
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

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Originally Posted by Outtahere
Gosh Goonie I fit all but #9 of your list, too bad I'm taken

Actually that looks like a list I'd compile for my dream man which is pretty scarey.
Maybe we were twins born to different mothers!
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 06:48 PM   #73
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goonie
Maybe we were twins born to different mothers!
LMAO!! or we live in some kind of strange parallel universe.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 08:08 PM   #74
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Yeah, pretty good list, though I'd add "must be menopause-free"... :P
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 09:03 PM   #75
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

I think a couple of warning bells that men should look out for are those women who seem more interested in planning the wedding rather than what comes after. I'm talking about the Bridezillas who want to max out the credit cards so they can be Princess for a day, have to have a rock on their finger bigger than all their friends, and have already picked out their children's names. These types are not so much looking for love, but for someone or should I say anyone reasonable, to help them fulfil their destiny.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 09:47 PM   #76
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by DangerMouse
I think a couple of warning bells that men should look out for are those women who seem more interested in planning the wedding rather than what comes after. I'm talking about the Bridezillas who want to max out the credit cards so they can be Princess for a day, have to have a rock on their finger bigger than all their friends, and have already picked out their children's names. These types are not so much looking for love, but for someone or should I say anyone reasonable, to help them fulfil their destiny.
This is covered in different ways under three of my six musts.

Hey, keep 'em coming...I may have missed something that I need to add...

2Cor521
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-16-2007, 10:34 PM   #77
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

First things first - work on yourself.

Make sure you know what you enjoy - have your own hobbies, friends - likes and dislikes. That way you can truly find someone who you are compatable with.

At your young age i think it is hard for you to say what you want perhaps because you need to experience life - travel on your own. That way when you travel w/ someone special you can see if that enhances or detracts from the experience - that is a great way to see if 1) you should be with this person much longer and/or 2) you would rather be alone.

I do think work and financial habits are an important consideration - but don't be overly concerned with that until you're with someone for at least a few months.

also, have a few long relationships - then you can work out your own personal "issues" and kinks. some people just stink at being in a relationship - or relating at all, and need a few to learn how to be a partner at all!

after a good relationship for at least a year, if you still love being around them, feel happy and excited to see them - then start thinking about making a commitment!
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-17-2007, 09:10 AM   #78
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgeeeee
Are you rigid about that poop in the bed thing? or would you consider compromising?
Reminds me of an old Howie Mandel bit. He said if he ever had daughters, his plan was to not potty train them. That way he'd be sure they'd be home early from dates. Because that was always his rule...girl poops in the car, take her home. Unless she had really big boobs.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-17-2007, 09:11 AM   #79
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by DangerMouse
These types are not so much looking for love, but for someone or should I say anyone reasonable, to help them fulfil their destiny.
My wife refers to those situations as "the bride and the sperm donor".
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-17-2007, 11:14 AM   #80
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
No one can predict how you or your spouse will change over time.
Thanks for the interesting post, SteveR. I hope you'll find a solution to the pain problem.

Related to changes in your partner, my wife had surgery for a brain tumor nine years ago, and she became different after that. Fortunately, not in a bad way, and I'd say that most casual friends wouldn't notice.

Before the surgery think sharp-edged career woman; after: softer, warmer, at-home type. Before, we were very equal in making decisions; now, it's more like I'm the president and she's the vice-president with veto power. I'm very good at not abusing my power, but I can tell you that things run more smoothly when one person is more "in charge" than the other.

Life can be pretty interesting, huh?
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