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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-17-2007, 11:25 AM   #81
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Interesting, Al. My grandmother went through a similar transition after she had a stroke.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-17-2007, 11:31 AM   #82
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cute 'n Fuzzy Bunny
My wife refers to those situations as "the bride and the sperm donor".
And walking wallet.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-17-2007, 12:43 PM   #83
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

I don't have a clue why my marriage works! On our first date I fell in love and have been for the last 36 years. We started off living together immediately after our first date and did so for the next two years. I told her just say when on marriage and she did, thankfully. We had similar family backgrounds and had some strange coincidental connections that we found out about latter.

We worked together many years in low paying jobs managing someone else's business. Went back to night school together. Got government jobs with upward mobility around the same time. Discovered camping, gardening, dogs and cats (but no kids by choice,) love to travel together, drink and dine together.

I cook and buy groceries, do minor home repairs, deal with various vendors inside and outside the house. She shops for clothes and gifts, does the laundry and cleans house. We both like to read, watch movies and TV, and veg out at home.

We rarely seek the company of others. She's the introvert, I'm the extrovert. (Although we've found she is the one people feel comfortable with, I usually establish the contacts.) She's a Taurus, I'm a Leo and neither of us takes the stars or religion seriously. We are both liberal Democrats who vote but do not participate in politics otherwise.

We've slept in the same bed for all but 2 or 3 nights since our first date. In less than six months, we will find out how we fare in continuous retirement. I seriously doubt we won't be able to survive that together either.

I mind the finances, (now that we have some,) but she is fully informed, has access to all the accounts, and although she often says, "Do what you think is best," we always make group decisions on the big purchase items.

But I don't have a clue what rules to follow seeking the perfect mate. I have seen some strange combinations seem to work but haven't a clue as to how. I think its mainly just luck and I'm lucky in love and it pretty much cures all ills.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-17-2007, 01:26 PM   #84
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-23-2007, 10:01 AM   #85
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

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Originally Posted by SecondCor521

High Want: 7 ("No tattoos")
Hadn't even thought about the tattoo thing until I was between marriages in about 95 and went out with a woman who had a fairly good-sized phoenix tattood just above her left boob.

I remember thinking "man, I thought these things were supposed to rise from the ashes, not fall with age...."

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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-23-2007, 10:10 AM   #86
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

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Originally Posted by bosco
Hadn't even thought about the tattoo thing until I was between marriages in about 95 and went out with a woman who had a fairly good-sized phoenix tattood just above her left boob.

I remember thinking "man, I thought these things were supposed to rise from the ashes, not fall with age...."
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-23-2007, 10:13 AM   #87
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Looking back my main concern seemed to be avoiding anyone who reminded me in any way of my mother.

Perhaps not the best decision rule. Or at least an incomplete one.

Ha
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-23-2007, 03:26 PM   #88
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

What does the Court say, regarding the paternity test results?

(Sorry, Just one of those days.)
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-23-2007, 07:31 PM   #89
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

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....I'm dang pleased I waited until I was 40.
I concur! Wait until 40. At that point you're about as grown up as you're ever going to be, and she should be too.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-23-2007, 08:23 PM   #90
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

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Originally Posted by riskaverse
I concur! Wait until 40. At that point you're about as grown up as you're ever going to be, and she should be too.
It's fine at 40 as long as children are not in the planning.

But if a child is desired, the picture doesn't not look to bright. Married at 40, child born at 42, sport activities with child in late 40's to early 50's, high school graduation at 60, college completion at 64. First grandchild at, nah... forget it.
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-23-2007, 10:16 PM   #91
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Not only this, but by age 40 a woman's fertility has declined markedly, as has her chance to have an uneventful pregnancy and / or a healthy baby.

Ha
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-24-2007, 08:55 AM   #92
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

I hear ya Elderdude and agree. I also have no idea why our marriage works, since we did everything the wrong way!

DH and I went out on a Sat night and he left the next day to go back to the city he was living in (approx 3 hrs away). He came back the following Sat and took me back to live with him. He was in the Air Force at the time. We were married exactly 1 month from the day that we met. I was 19 and he was 20. We were dirt poor. Luckily, we waited until I was 25 to have our first child. That gave us some time to get to know each other and to grow up. Those first years were very hard and touch and go for awhile. My spouse went to college after the Air Force via the GI Bill. We definitely could not afford college at the beginning. I started working for the Fed gov on the Air Force base as a GS-2 Step 1 temporary not to exceed 90 days. I started going to college also. I stopped when I was pregnant with my son and I was working full-time and going to college 3/4 time and anemic. Dr wanted me to either stop working or school. Of course stopping work was not an option at that time, so I quit college. I was the type of person that never quite felt like I measured up. I felt guilty that my child was in daycare (vast majority of my close family were stay at home mothers) and that I was not the perfect employee (I took off when my child was sick). My spouse told me that I could go back to school and get my college degree, but I did not want to leave my children after they had been with a sitter or school all day. We all make our choices.

We were willing to work at our marriage and it was a lot of work, especially those first years . My spouse's family never went to church and he had no desire to go to church. I did not go to church for approximately 15 years. I decided that I wanted my son to grow up in the church and my son and I started going when he was in the fourth grade. My spouse did not attend with us. It was important to me that he attend also. I would ask for him to attend church, as my birthday or Christmas present. He finally agreed and is now a trustee at our church. He did two mission trips last year. We have grown up together and share many memories. I can not imagine my life without him in it.

Neither of us were very good marriage prospects. We would have failed most of the people's criteria for a partner. We have been married for over 34 years. We own our own house and do not have any debt, other than the credit card that we pay off monthly. I retired from the Fed gov after 32 years and 8 mos. DH is still working and likes his job. We are not rich, by a long shot. We are comfortable and we are happy!
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-24-2007, 02:13 PM   #93
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by riskaverse
At that point you're about as grown up as you're ever going to be
Wait for it.......

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
Not only this, but by age 40 a woman's fertility has declined markedly
Yeah, thats what we thought...
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-24-2007, 02:20 PM   #94
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
Not only this, but by age 40 a woman's fertility has declined markedly, as has her chance to have an uneventful pregnancy and / or a healthy baby.
Ha
Darn.....read it wrong..........I mentally replaced the word "fertility" with the phrase " need for sex" ..............
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-24-2007, 02:57 PM   #95
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

That hasnt been my experience.

Maybe its just you!
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)
Old 01-24-2007, 03:10 PM   #96
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Re: How do you decide whom to marry? (Re: if you had only known...)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cute Fuzzy Bunny
That hasnt been my experience.

Maybe its just you!
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