Thanks to all for your replies. I am at work right now so will just respond to the questions posed; please know that I am reading all the replies with interest.
"They know your divorced status, right?" - yes, they do in general, flipstress. I guess I worry too much about the "bad" cases where I say I'm not interested and they're either disappointed because they were interested in me or offended because I implied they were interested in me when in fact they weren't.
"Are there some single mom's that go to school with your kids that need a pal?" - probably, shiny. But I do worry about them being on the prowl.
"Why are you looking for a female "friend"? Do you need someone to take places that you need a "date"?" Outtahere, I generally prefer female friendships. I attribute this partially to growing up in a home with two older sisters and a SAHM with a Dad who worked and was gone a lot. In general I don't need a "date" -- I am happy to go "stag" to any social occasion. Like I said, I just enjoy the company of women in general; with the recent divorce experience though, I just am extremely cynical, distrustful, and afraid of a serious relationship.
"Why not just concentrate on sports, guys who like to play whatever games or videogames that you enjoy, and whatever group or church based volunteer activities you might like, as suggested by Brewer?" HaHa, I thought about this suggestion some more. Quite frankly, I prefer 1-on-1 conversations rather than group settings, but I know there are tradeoffs in life and this may be one I need to make. Your dance club suggestion is a good idea. I'd like to take dancing or cooking classes as those are two things I could certainly be better at. Bridge clubs and book clubs are also a good idea.
"How old are you?" I am 37, dex.
crazy connie, yes, you got me to laugh. (shiny, you also got me with the vision of my rats in harnesses!)
"who are your friends that this is a problem?" Kaudrey, maybe I travel in the wrong circles of women or am misinterpreting their signals, but (a) a lady in my church divorce support group, (b) a girl I knew from high school, (c) a female coworker, and (d) a realtor I met when I bought my house. They have all said or done things that I think are beyond just being friendly/polite.
"Why would I?" Maybe he wanted you to think of it as a date, I dunno. But I guess overall I'd like to figure out a way to respectfully and kindly find out if a girl is like you or a "prowler".
"That said, I have to add that these are just regular guys. I can see some gorgeous, incredible hunk with a multi-million dollar portfolio and a genius IQ having to beat women away from him with a stick -- does this describe YOU, 521?" Geez, Caroline, you're asking me to rate myself?!? ;-) I'm certainly not a hunk, I don't have a multi-million dollar portfolio, or a genius IQ. But without hopefully sounding too full of myself, I'm not bad in most departments (looks) and am above average in several (basic manners/politeness, education, net worth, IQ, willingness to help out with kids/house). Of course I am below average in several also (dancing ability, overweight at the moment).
'But really, unless you're George Clooney, or unless you overtly lead your women friends on, how many broken hearts and ruined lives are you actually expecting to leave in your wake?" I'm no George Clooney (I'm straight but even I think he's good looking ;-), certainly, but I'd prefer to leave none at all.
"I don't mean to be unkind here, but warning another person away from a deeper relationship with you, before that person has expressed such in interest, is simply not good manners." Good point. I think part of the problem is that I missed most of the high school and college dating scene, so I am assuming that the women I meet will not be blunt/forthright/plainspoken about their wants/needs/interests and that I'll have to guess. Some women are that way, I think, but maybe I should stay away from them regardless.
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