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Old 11-26-2007, 11:25 PM   #61
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My mother's father moved from NY to TX because of arthritis; my mother moved from NY to AL because of arthritis; I don't want to move south because of arthritis.

I'm considering a tactic someone here mentioned concerning a relative: retreating to one (relatively warm) room for most stuff during cold weather.
Once we quit work, we spent our first winter in the valley in TX, found it warm but really humid. The next winter we spent in southern AZ and CA. Been doing it most winters since then. Lots of snowbirds there who tend to form an extended "winter family". Not bad. We were babies on the block when we started it. These people are not sit at home folks, lots of activities. We took a bicycle tour across the border into MX that first year...lots of fun! Most return home (up north) when the weather gets too warm, usually 85 degrees. DH and I retreat to the mountains and enjoy the cool weather during the summer. I wouldn't want to live in either place year 'round, but we get the best of both places.

Might I suggest that if you retreat to a warm room during the winter, use those lights that simulate daylight. They do that in Alaska to help prevent SAD (winter blues).

As John Wayne said, "you die your way, I'll die mine".
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Old 11-27-2007, 12:29 AM   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan View Post
My mother's father moved from NY to TX because of arthritis; my mother moved from NY to AL because of arthritis; I don't want to move south because of arthritis.

I'm considering a tactic someone here mentioned concerning a relative: retreating to one (relatively warm) room for most stuff during cold weather.
That makes a lot of sense, for energy conservation. Why not? There is no reason why we have to heat a huge house just for one person.

I would also suggest making sure that arthritic joints get plenty of movement, and that aging and less flexible soft tissues are adequately stretched each day to prevent pulling and further joint pain.
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Old 11-27-2007, 07:39 PM   #63
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we will not know until we get there.
But if we have AD we might not know!!!
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Old 11-27-2007, 07:52 PM   #64
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my brother has already predetermined that he will endure a.d. should it strike him. but he also has a wife and three kids to care for him so it might be "braver" now for him to make such a future decision but more practical than brave for me, a single guy with no kids, to make mine. certainly, even if i was willing to live like that, i will not get the extremely good care my mother received or that my brother can expect. in fact, it would not be too unlikely that i could be physically abused by some homophobic nurse's aid. so maybe my decision isn't so brave after all. perhaps i'm just protecting myself.
I'm straight but I hear you, Lazy, and I have similar concerns about being alone without an advocate in my declining years. That's why I, like you, want to be in control of my destiny.
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Old 11-27-2007, 07:57 PM   #65
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I figure mid to late 80s. Dad is 87. Mom turns 83 in January. So barring an accident or war or famine or ? maybe another 30 years or so...
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Old 11-27-2007, 09:17 PM   #66
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I'm straight but I hear you, Lazy, and I have similar concerns about being alone without an advocate in my declining years. That's why I, like you, want to be in control of my destiny.
even though we were there to check on mom all the time while she was in the alzheimer's unit. and even though we could afford and placed her in the best available, i still worried about it every day.

i never raised a kid but seems to me there's a big difference between placing your kid with someone and placing your parent with dementia. i know i have to trust the world to some degree, but at least the kid can tell you if something goes wrong.

edit: in the meanwhile, to show just how stressful it can be to take care of someone with alzheimer's (stats show that 65% of caregivers die first), i just received a call from good friends of mine--getting ready to move to their early retirement home in sarasota, in part to be here with her mom--that her mom just died. first thing out of my mouth as this is the second time this has happened to a friend of mine--"oh my god, the wrong one died again." so now they will continue with their moving plans only when they get here she will take over for her mom in the care of her dad who is in an alzheimer's unit. life ain't easy and i don't care how much money you have or how well you plan. it just ain't.
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