How many children - Page 2

My Dream · 10-20-2006, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mja

Yes. I supposed I could refer to her as DW, and her daughter as DD, but her daugheter would be horrified if I ever referred to her as "my" daughter.

I too am rather surpised at the number respondents with 4+ children.

To tell you the truth, I'm more surprise at the number that said 0.

Sheryl · 10-20-2006, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My Dream

To tell you the truth, I'm more surprise at the number that said 0.

Me too. We have speculated before that being childfree helps to contribute to being FI. I know my partners are both far from retirement and they "blame" kids and college educations for that.

I wonder how many in the poll are "None and never will," and how many are "not yet, but might."

At 46 with a 50 y.o. SO I'm in the former catagory. SO does have a son, but the son was grown before we met so I don't consider him "mine."

Mr._johngalt · 10-20-2006, 08:04 AM

I'll tell you......those "ankle biters" are horribly costly, but my kids are more
important to me than anything. Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but having my
kids was 100% right. Not having children would have been a tragedy
in my case.

JG

My Dream · 10-20-2006, 09:05 AM

I find when it comes to having or not having kids, it's a VERY senstive subject. When I married around 22 years ago, I wanted to succed so much that I felt kids would get in my way, I didn't have time for them, it was to much work, I wanted to spend my spare time with my wife, enjoying life and finding security. Plain and simple, I personally was selfish. When my first born came into this world, it wasn't shall we say planed, I was jealous and not a happy camper. Today, with 2 kids, my life wouldn't be complete without them.

Quick Disclaimer - What you’re reading is all personal opinion, if you are offended in any way, shape, of form; that was not my intent. Hey,you can always put me on your ignore list. Enough said.

brewer12345 · 10-20-2006, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheryl

Me too. We have speculated before that being childfree helps to contribute to being FI. I know my partners are both far from retirement and they "blame" kids and college educations for that.

Excuses, excuses...

Arif · 10-20-2006, 09:41 AM

We only have one boy and he's four. Honestly don't think I am cut out for a lot of kids (anything over 1). Although I recently spent some time with friends and they have two kids 3 and 9. The 9 yo helped take care of the 3 yo (baths, entertainment, etc.) so maybe 2 kids is not twice the work. I'll never know.

Alex · 10-20-2006, 01:32 PM

Just to be clear, even though I am thankfully childfree, I like kids, especially when they go home with their parents.

Seriously, Children are lots of work and lots of fun too. For many people they are sources of tremendous joy and fullfillment. I respect that.

I just personally prefer "really nice drapes".

bongo2 · 10-20-2006, 01:48 PM

The posts seem to have slowed down, so here are the Census numbers for comparison. No-one has responded to my question about the posters with 5+ kids, but I will take those numbers at face value anyway:

Kids Census ERF
0 19% 39%
1 17% 12%
2 35% 31%
3 18% 8%
4 7% 3%
5-6 3% 5%
7+ 1% 1%

The census numbers are the 2004 survey of women age 40-44, biological children only. Not an exact match, but still interesting for comparison. We seem to have significantly more people with zero children, about the same 1-2, and fewer with 3+. No real surprises, except for those suspicious numbers for 5-7.

It may also be interesting that as recently as 1990 only 15% of women had no children, and in 1980 it was 10%, while in that same time the number with 5+ children has plummeted from about 15% to 3%.

wabmester · 10-20-2006, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

I just personally prefer "really nice drapes".

I think this is one area in which our kid (and dogs and cat) saves us a ton of money. We have stopped buying expensive and fragile high-end crap merchandise. We furnish our home for comfort and robustness. Well, except for that damn piano we had to buy for her piano lessons....

Calgary_Girl · 10-20-2006, 03:30 PM

One daughter so far (6 months old) and would like to have one more in a couple of years. Originally thought we'd like three but I'm not getting any younger and I definitely don't want to be having a baby over 40.

haha · 10-20-2006, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calgary_Girl

One daughter so far (6 months old) and would like to have one more in a couple of years. Originally thought we'd like three but I'm not getting any younger and I definitely don't want to be having a baby over 40.

Thsi is like my wife and I we wanted 4, but after 2 she thought the wear and tear might be too much. Best to get going at 22 or so if a big family is a goal.

Ha

laurence · 10-20-2006, 04:08 PM

2nd on the way and a good chance we'll stop there.

We had another thread where some w/o children felt a need to defend that decision, I hope they don't here. I think those who want kids should have them, and those who don't, shouldn't.

I have an Aunt w/o kids, and we know a married couple that the wife's brother never married or had kids, and they are wonderful contributors to the family, the kids (me included) come running to the door to see them. Some of my best childhood memories involve my aunt, and now she is a wonderful great aunt to Tori. So I just wanted to make sure the contributions of "childless" couples/adults do not get overlooked. You don't have to "birth" a kid to help raise the next generation.

On the whole I think it's becoming more and more acceptable to never have kids in our society. Now if we could clean up the adoption process, put some teeth into child abuse laws, we could move towards every child being a wanted child.

shiny · 10-20-2006, 07:40 PM

Yeah, I don't feel the need to defend not having (or wanting) any kids. It just wasn't for me.

I do love spending time with my nieces and nephews and hearing about their funny stories. It also makes me happy for people who have kids to take joy in them. I'm often grateful for not having them (and having a DH who agrees) because I honestly don't know that I could handle the constant stress and worry.

saluki9 · 10-20-2006, 07:58 PM

None yet, and praying that my wife would hurry up and finish nursing school so we could get on to breeding.

I have 6 nieces who I love dearly and see at least once a week, but I really want my own.

When I was younger I thought I wanted 4, but after spending time with my sisters I think 2 will be plenty

Outtahere · 10-20-2006, 08:00 PM

I never had that maternal instinct at least not for having children of my own. I enjoy my husbands kids and their kids and my nephews . I also found out at the age of 38 that it would have been impossible for me to have children, strange how things worked out.

astromeria · 10-20-2006, 09:52 PM

My child-free brother is a wonderful uncle to his nieces & nephews. But he's glad he never had his own kids--and that he stayed single. Come to think of it, he's a neat brother, too.

Alex · 10-20-2006, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wab

I think this is one area in which our kid (and dogs and cat) saves us a ton of money. We have stopped buying expensive and fragile high-end crap merchandise. We furnish our home for comfort and robustness. Well, except for that damn piano we had to buy for her piano lessons....

but you've never seen these drapes! They are made of human flesh....babies actually.

mb · 10-20-2006, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arif

We only have one boy and he's four. Honestly don't think I am cut out for a lot of kids (anything over 1). Although I recently spent some time with friends and they have two kids 3 and 9. The 9 yo helped take care of the 3 yo (baths, entertainment, etc.) so maybe 2 kids is not twice the work. I'll never know.

With 1 kid you can double-team them
With 2 it's man-to-man
With 3 you have to go to a zone D

Sheryl · 10-21-2006, 10:25 AM

It seems so simple, as Laurence (I think) said - those who want them should have them and those who don't shouldn't. I just never really wanted them. Luckily, since I never even got married, I didn't have to face the family pressure than many people get.

My Dream - I took me a long time to stop saying, "I'm just selfish" when asked why I didn't want kids, so your statement jumped out at me. I finally realized that there is nothing selfish about choosing the lifestyle that is right for me. I don't think it was selfish of you to wait until you were ready for kids to have them, it was smart. You gave a lot of really good reasons for your decision.

On the other hand, I'm happy for you that you have come around to enjoy what you now have. I'm sure if I had children I would have loved them like crazy too.

View Poll Results: How many children do you have or plan to have?
0	50	36.23%
1	16	11.59%
2	52	37.68%
3	11	7.97%
4	3	2.17%
5-6	5	3.62%
7+	1	0.72%
Voters: 138. You may not vote on this poll

10-20-2006, 08:04 AM	#23
Mr._johngalt Full time employment: Posting here. Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 927	Re: How many children I'll tell you......those "ankle biters" are horribly costly, but my kids are more important to me than anything. Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but having my kids was 100% right. Not having children would have been a tragedy in my case. JG __________________ Some of us have pretty stories, about good friends, good times and noodle salad.

10-20-2006, 09:05 AM	#24
My Dream Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 372	Re: How many children I find when it comes to having or not having kids, it's a VERY senstive subject. When I married around 22 years ago, I wanted to succed so much that I felt kids would get in my way, I didn't have time for them, it was to much work, I wanted to spend my spare time with my wife, enjoying life and finding security. Plain and simple, I personally was selfish. When my first born came into this world, it wasn't shall we say planed, I was jealous and not a happy camper. Today, with 2 kids, my life wouldn't be complete without them. Quick Disclaimer - What you’re reading is all personal opinion, if you are offended in any way, shape, of form; that was not my intent. Hey,you can always put me on your ignore list. Enough said. __________________ Newbie

10-20-2006, 09:41 AM	#26
Arif Full time employment: Posting here. Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 661	Re: How many children We only have one boy and he's four. Honestly don't think I am cut out for a lot of kids (anything over 1). Although I recently spent some time with friends and they have two kids 3 and 9. The 9 yo helped take care of the 3 yo (baths, entertainment, etc.) so maybe 2 kids is not twice the work. I'll never know. __________________ You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

10-20-2006, 01:32 PM	#27
Alex Full time employment: Posting here. Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 696	Re: How many children Just to be clear, even though I am thankfully childfree, I like kids, especially when they go home with their parents. Seriously, Children are lots of work and lots of fun too. For many people they are sources of tremendous joy and fullfillment. I respect that. I just personally prefer "really nice drapes". __________________ Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.--Drew Carey

10-20-2006, 01:48 PM	#28
bongo2 Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 444	Re: How many children The posts seem to have slowed down, so here are the Census numbers for comparison. No-one has responded to my question about the posters with 5+ kids, but I will take those numbers at face value anyway: Kids Census ERF 0 19% 39% 1 17% 12% 2 35% 31% 3 18% 8% 4 7% 3% 5-6 3% 5% 7+ 1% 1% The census numbers are the 2004 survey of women age 40-44, biological children only. Not an exact match, but still interesting for comparison. We seem to have significantly more people with zero children, about the same 1-2, and fewer with 3+. No real surprises, except for those suspicious numbers for 5-7. It may also be interesting that as recently as 1990 only 15% of women had no children, and in 1980 it was 10%, while in that same time the number with 5+ children has plummeted from about 15% to 3%.

10-20-2006, 03:30 PM	#30
Calgary_Girl Full time employment: Posting here. Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 517	Re: How many children One daughter so far (6 months old) and would like to have one more in a couple of years. Originally thought we'd like three but I'm not getting any younger and I definitely don't want to be having a baby over 40. __________________ I can only be nice to one person today! Today is not your day...tomorrow doesn't look good either.

10-20-2006, 04:08 PM	#32
laurence Moderator Emeritus Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 4,787	Re: How many children 2nd on the way and a good chance we'll stop there. We had another thread where some w/o children felt a need to defend that decision, I hope they don't here. I think those who want kids should have them, and those who don't, shouldn't. I have an Aunt w/o kids, and we know a married couple that the wife's brother never married or had kids, and they are wonderful contributors to the family, the kids (me included) come running to the door to see them. Some of my best childhood memories involve my aunt, and now she is a wonderful great aunt to Tori. So I just wanted to make sure the contributions of "childless" couples/adults do not get overlooked. You don't have to "birth" a kid to help raise the next generation. On the whole I think it's becoming more and more acceptable to never have kids in our society. Now if we could clean up the adoption process, put some teeth into child abuse laws, we could move towards every child being a wanted child.

10-20-2006, 07:40 PM	#33
shiny Full time employment: Posting here. Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Tokyo Posts: 652	Re: How many children Yeah, I don't feel the need to defend not having (or wanting) any kids. It just wasn't for me. I do love spending time with my nieces and nephews and hearing about their funny stories. It also makes me happy for people who have kids to take joy in them. I'm often grateful for not having them (and having a DH who agrees) because I honestly don't know that I could handle the constant stress and worry. __________________ Time is the coin of your life... Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. Carl Sandburg

10-20-2006, 07:58 PM	#34
saluki9 Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,764	Re: How many children None yet, and praying that my wife would hurry up and finish nursing school so we could get on to breeding. I have 6 nieces who I love dearly and see at least once a week, but I really want my own. When I was younger I thought I wanted 4, but after spending time with my sisters I think 2 will be plenty

10-20-2006, 08:00 PM	#35
Outtahere Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 1,677	Re: How many children I never had that maternal instinct at least not for having children of my own. I enjoy my husbands kids and their kids and my nephews . I also found out at the age of 38 that it would have been impossible for me to have children, strange how things worked out. __________________ Dogs aren't our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

10-20-2006, 09:52 PM	#36
astromeria Moderator Emeritus Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,375	Re: How many children My child-free brother is a wonderful uncle to his nieces & nephews. But he's glad he never had his own kids--and that he stayed single. Come to think of it, he's a neat brother, too. __________________ You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need.

10-21-2006, 10:25 AM	#39
Sheryl Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,461	Re: How many children It seems so simple, as Laurence (I think) said - those who want them should have them and those who don't shouldn't. I just never really wanted them. Luckily, since I never even got married, I didn't have to face the family pressure than many people get. My Dream - I took me a long time to stop saying, "I'm just selfish" when asked why I didn't want kids, so your statement jumped out at me. I finally realized that there is nothing selfish about choosing the lifestyle that is right for me. I don't think it was selfish of you to wait until you were ready for kids to have them, it was smart. You gave a lot of really good reasons for your decision. On the other hand, I'm happy for you that you have come around to enjoy what you now have. I'm sure if I had children I would have loved them like crazy too.