How many parties can a person host before he/she is no longer an introvert?

[jjquantz]

OK, this is totally tongue in cheek. But my last thread on introvert's hosting parties seems to have devolved into a little bit of "You're not an introvert", "Oh, yes I am."

So, in an attempt to keep this light-hearted but maybe understand each other a bit more, the question is:

How many parties (30+ attendees) could a person host per year and still belong in your introvert club?

My club would allow any introvert 2 parties per year - one at the holidays and one to celebrate a birthday or anniversary. Once you get to 3 each year I would get really suspicious of the introvert label.

Yes, I know it all depends on this, that and the other...

[MichaelB]

I think membership to the introvert club is lifetime.

[Sarah in SC]

I'm holding out as an outlier!

[Meadbh]

I think it depends on how much support you have. As a single person, I would be doing all the organizing and basically acting as a meeting facilitator for all the guests. No thank you! But if I had a SO or other family members to delegate to, and was spend enough to hire caterers, then I might be able to muster enough personal energy to be the life and soul of my own party.

[tmm99]

I've never hosted a party for more than 4 people. 30+ attendees sounds like inviting a whole village.

[retirementguy1]

Probably the most people I would have over is 2. Introversion is yes/no but is also a sliding scale. The OP may be borderline I/E but still fall in the I.

[jjquantz]

OK, let me clarify. This is not about how many parties YOU would throw, this is about how many parties an acquaintance of yours could throw before you questioned his/her introvert bona fides.

[aaronc879]

I'm sure there are different levels of introversion. I couldn't even image wanting to host a single party at my place, ever. I'm the person that people ask "are you still there" when we're talking on the phone because I talk so little. I'm the person who can live in a condo building for almost 8 years now and not know half the people by name. I'm just about as introverted as a person can get while, i'm guessing, the OP barely qualifies as an introvert.

[W2R]

I voted "1", but apparently I hadn't read the question thoroughly enough because I thought that was 1 of any size in a lifetime. I figured that the introvert had to try it once to know what it was like.

But one party of 30 people over and over, year after year? No way (IMHO). So I edited to move my vote to "0". Oops.

[Ronstar]

I voted 0. I would never host a party for more than 10 people, let alone 30+. Why go through the bother. If someone in your group likes big parties, let them host one.

[Chuckanut]

Introverts have no problem with a party. OTOH, extroverts have a problem if there is only 'a' party.

[jjquantz]

Wow! Tough crowd.

I'm reminded of a small town golf tournament that I played in a couple of decades ago. I shot a 75, another guy shot a 65, a third guy shot 78 and the last guy shot 115. The 115 shooter says, "You guys should all go play in the Hogan tour event in Iowa City next week." Even though the 3 others of us in the group were, arguably, quite a bit better than a significant portion of the golfing population, there was still a huge gap between us and those way out there on the tail of the distribution. One of the pros would look at the 3 of us and definitely feel like we were closer to the 115 shooter. It's all about your perspective.

I get the feeling that a lot of what we are discussing is the tail of the introversion distribution. I am extremely confident that I am more introverted than 90-95% of the general population (despite throwing one carefully orchestrated party each year). This group, as has been discussed many times, seems to be dominated by introverts. So it might not be surprising to have the tail of the distribution be well represented. I guess my party throwing style could look pretty introverted to an (solid) extravert but look pretty extraverted to folks a bit further out on the introversion end of the curve.

This is really quite interesting.

[youbet]

How about introverts who drink a bottle of wine just before the party begins? Like Raj on Big Bang? He's an introvert who becomes a real "ladies man" as soon as you pop the cork.

[CaliforniaMan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jjquantz Wow! Tough crowd. ... I get the feeling that a lot of what we are discussing is the tail of the introversion distribution. I am extremely confident that I am more introverted than 90-95% of the general population (despite throwing one carefully orchestrated party each year). This group, as has been discussed many times, seems to be dominated by introverts. ... This is really quite interesting.

This has been my feeling about us here too. Everyone pretty much bragging about how much more introverted they are than the next, far different from other forums I would imagine. I think if anyone here bragged about being an extrovert they would be banished!

[unclemick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelB I think membership to the introvert club is lifetime.

I never want to host - always attend. Going to one tonight.

heh heh heh - I can be INTJ no matter what crowd/event. Even when I am the host/cook or moderator of a discussion group.

[Aerides]

I think you can host as many as you see fit, and retain Introvert cred's, as long as you are exhausted and don't want to talk to anyone ever again, or leave the house, for at least 3 days after each one?

[jjquantz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aerides I think you can host as many as you see fit, and retain Introvert cred's, as long as you are exhausted and don't want to talk to anyone ever again, or leave the house, for at least 3 days after each one?

[Sarah in SC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aerides I think you can host as many as you see fit, and retain Introvert cred's, as long as you are exhausted and don't want to talk to anyone ever again, or leave the house, for at least 3 days after each one?

Ding! Ding! Ding!

[FI by 2024]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aerides I think you can host as many as you see fit, and retain Introvert cred's, as long as you are exhausted and don't want to talk to anyone ever again, or leave the house, for at least 3 days after each one?

Precisely.

Introversion/extroversion is not about whether you like to host parties, but about how you feel during and after them. I love hosting parties because it's one way I show love to my friends. I also love love love when they leave, and my house is silent, and I have leftovers so I don't need to leave the house the next day!


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

[jjquantz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FI by 2024 Precisely. Introversion/extroversion is not about whether you like to host parties, but about how you feel during and after them. I love hosting parties because it's one way I show love to my friends. I also love love love when they leave, and my house is silent, and I have leftovers so I don't need to leave the house the next day! Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

Exactly, thanks for understanding.