Originally Posted by haha
All the deluded gentlemen on this board who are now or have in the past considered retiring or semi-retiring or becoming house husbands while their better halves continue to work, take heed.
Nothing is more certain than whatever a society is most at pains to deny, is certainly true. In America we supposedly have equal expectations of the genders, but just reading this board it is obvious that this not true. Look how men here accept honey-do lists, which are actually only warranted in a boss/employee relationship.
It is very easy for a woman to lose respect for her man, if he is not carrying a good portion of whatever she considers the family load. Tens of thousands of years of human evolution support this.
Men, your wife will never admit this, but you forget it at your peril.
There is a lot of truth to what you say. But I think you may be misreading some of the 'honey-do list' comments.
I've probably talked about my 'honey-do list'. And if it sounds like it's being forced on me, that's in jest (oh poor me, gotta do this or I'm in trouble!).
The reality is, I don't 'accept' those jobs as in a boss/employee relationship (do it or else). It's a team thing - she might mention that she thinks it would be nice to have a corner shelf added to the 4-season room, could I make one out of the cedar scraps we had left over so it all matches? And I say, yeah, I think so, and that sounds like a good idea. Or no, it would be in the way, maybe this or that instead, or forget about it. It usually goes smoothly, occasionally not, but life's not perfect.
And we each have a ton of jobs that never make it to any 'to-do' list, but we do what makes sense, again as a team. She's not going to fix and maintain cars, appliances or most typical 'handyman' type jobs (though I know some women are far handier than some men), would prefer I do the taxes and other financial matters. So I do those and she does a host of other things, meals most nights, shopping, the laundry, and on and on.
I agree with your 'evolution' comment, and I have sensed that from time to time. I find the cure is to do something more 'visible', so she sees the result of the work I do.