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Old 05-20-2016, 08:19 PM   #21
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Wow. I took a break from the board over nursing home stories, and now this. But I've stepped back and I think I can talk.

bclover: I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's battle with AML. I don't live in a city that requires parking for hospitals, but even so, I understand what you are saying, with the sketchy coverage. And there is so much more than medical costs that go into these diseases. Thank you for sharing, and again, sorry.

Back in the late 80's, I have to admit that a TV movie called "Mercy or Murder" woke me up. The OP's linked story sounds amazingly like this same story from the 80s. Florida then too. I lived in Florida at the time and the story of Roswell Gilbert was in the news. Gilbert killed his wife in a mercy killing to stop her suffering from Alzheimers and bone disease. He went to prison, got clemency, but suffered severe guilt. He never found solace.

Robert Young starred in the TV movie. I grew up with Marcus Welby. Welby could seemingly solve any disease. Now here, someone who looked like Welby was powerless. What a stroke of genius to cast Young in this role. It really resonated with me, and I have to say, gave me a much more realistic view of what medicine can and cannot do.
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Old 05-20-2016, 08:54 PM   #22
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This story is disturbing on several levels. Reminds me of my brother's Ex's mom and step dad (I know, a lot of family relationships). An older couple who I think the step dad was an engineer and had a pretty good nest egg for retirement. But barely into that, his wife had cancer then died. Then he had cancer the following year and died too. Their savings pretty much wiped out. Sad but I bet not too uncommon.
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Old 05-21-2016, 09:50 AM   #23
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Strange, when you consider they filed bankruptcy in 2011. Evidently they knew how to ask for help 5 years ago.

Also, at least one article said the man told police his wife had said she wanted to die; but that she'd not asked him to kill her. Not that it makes any difference in the eyes of the law.

I see this as a clear case of caregiver exhaustion. Caregivers do not get much care, themselves. Somehow society expects them to keep on sacrificing themselves endlessly, like some kind of robot saints.

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This Florida couple did not know how to ask for financial assistance. And then, the husband finally cracked under the pressure of taking care of his wife.

We will know more when the husband undergoes psychological evaluation.
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:13 AM   #24
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I hope the situation improves for your friends' parents. Perhaps their income is too high? (It doesn't have to be very high to not qualify for programs!) My friends reports only about $15k of SS.
Thanks. As long as they don't need any prescription help they should make it. It's very good that your friends have you to help. Having the time and know-how to navigate programs for public assistance is probably the single most important factor in getting help.

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I see this as a clear case of caregiver exhaustion. Caregivers do not get much care, themselves. Somehow society expects them to keep on sacrificing themselves endlessly, like some kind of robot saints.
Caregiver exhaustion was my thought as well. More than just medication that was too expensive, they had no one else to help, nowhere else to turn. This is a tragedy that should not have been.
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:47 AM   #25
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... I see this as a clear case of caregiver exhaustion. Caregivers do not get much care, themselves. Somehow society expects them to keep on sacrificing themselves endlessly, like some kind of robot saints.
Same here. It is difficult to take care of someone in the family. Imagine how hard it is for the workers in hospitals, in nursing homes.
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Old 05-24-2016, 11:38 PM   #26
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This shows how the cost of medication in this country has been out of control. There should be some control over pharma. So sorry that you and hubby had to undergo such difficulties.

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Amen!!

My husband suffered and died from Acute myloid leukemia. After chemo he became neutropenic and need two shots a day to help his white blood cell production. even with two major health insurance the drug was 100 bucks a shot. so 200 bucks a day over 13 months, (not straight) well you get the picture, Not to mention the myriad of other charges that come along like 250 a month parking fee because the hospital did not give free parking even to patients.

Now I never had to make the choice between food or medicine, thank
God but I can tell you I was one of those nave people who thought that with once my deductible was met I was ok.

I know differently now. I can attest to the feeling of utter hopelessness
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Old 05-24-2016, 11:40 PM   #27
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That's terrible. When you say 'good nest egg for retirement', what kind of amount did he have that was lost to medication?


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This story is disturbing on several levels. Reminds me of my brother's Ex's mom and step dad (I know, a lot of family relationships). An older couple who I think the step dad was an engineer and had a pretty good nest egg for retirement. But barely into that, his wife had cancer then died. Then he had cancer the following year and died too. Their savings pretty much wiped out. Sad but I bet not too uncommon.
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Old 05-25-2016, 08:36 AM   #28
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That's terrible. When you say 'good nest egg for retirement', what kind of amount did he have that was lost to medication?
I think they had about 500K. But I should clarify that was lost to medical bills not covered by insurance and not medication alone. He probably should just just not paid and let the bills pile up. I wonder in that case what what would have happened to the money (would the hospitals line up as a creditor to the estate or just absorb the unpaid bills).
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