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Old 07-26-2011, 09:40 PM   #21
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I guess novelty of everything wears out sooner or later. And if one starts analyzing things which are made to entertain us, one can see the hollowness of the most, for example news. So if one has a lot of free time, what to do?
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Old 07-26-2011, 10:28 PM   #22
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Vincent, I found it interesting in what you said as I have noticed I have thought the same things recently in not interested in learning anything new, and not being real interested in the things I used to do. I do take interest in many on this forum who are opining about the new projects they take on to intellectually stimulate themselves. Fortunately for me somehow I've lost the ability to become bored, as I would rather be beat with a Singapore cane than learn something new, as it would result in frustration and a string of swear words that would embarrass a sailor.
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Old 07-27-2011, 12:01 AM   #23
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I am a bore to my circle of friends, too. I don't Harley, boat, fish, watch sports, or most of their other stuff. There is one DIYer that I share project interests, a couple computer science geeks and one other martial artist.

You know, it doesn't really matter. I take an interest in their interests, and listen to them, and draw them out about themselves. Somehow, they don't notice my boring. I especially don't make them suffer through using my using the golden mean or a Fibonacci series to design my home projects. But my outlook is offbeat enough to give them pause.
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Old 07-27-2011, 12:53 AM   #24
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First of all I am not a doctor but your description strikes me as all the symptoms of low T (testosterone). I often see an ad on TV that suggests all the same symptoms that you mention. Just a suggestion, I have no idea if low T is for real or just another way to sell drugs to the public. You may want to ask your doctor.
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Old 07-27-2011, 03:47 AM   #25
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Hi Vicente,

If you think you are a big bore, maybe you can have a post retirement career in the oil & gas industry

On a more serious note. I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I find your posts here are interesting and entertaining, and you seem to have a good sense of humor. (hmm, maybe I should say that you have a sense of humor similar to my own, which may not be the same thing ).

Please do continue to post regularly here, you have plenty of friends here who don't find you boring.
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Old 07-27-2011, 05:10 AM   #26
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What is a bore anyway? That is a label and using it is highly subjective! Was the label used to describe a specific issue or situation?


BTW.

If you are feeling down, you should speak with your physician. You might be experiencing some form of depression.

If you are having marital problems... consider counseling.
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Old 07-27-2011, 06:22 AM   #27
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Thank you all for the kind words. And believe me: I wasnt fishing for compliments.
I see that I havent explained myself correctly. I dont consider myself a conversational bore, but, for sure, a social bore, in the sense that most of the things/activities that my friends like dont interest me at all, i.e. travelling, sports, partying, big social gatherings, TV shows in general ..... In the group -there are 14 of us- Im the odd one. When Im with them Im previously told by my wife to make an effort and fix a polite smile on my face. But more often than not that smile fades away to my wifes annoyance.
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Old 07-27-2011, 06:57 AM   #28
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Hi. My name is Buffy. And I'm a wh.....

Wait a minute, let me get my glasses.

Never mind!
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Old 07-27-2011, 07:14 AM   #29
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Thank you all for the kind words. And believe me: I wasnt fishing for compliments.
I see that I havent explained myself correctly. I dont consider myself a conversational bore, but, for sure, a social bore, in the sense that most of the things/activities that my friends like dont interest me at all, i.e. travelling, sports, partying, big social gatherings, TV shows in general ..... In the group -there are 14 of us- Im the odd one. When Im with them Im previously told by my wife to make an effort and fix a polite smile on my face. But more often than not that smile fades away to my wifes annoyance.

Ah Vicente, that is different, you are not a bore, you are discerning! I can understand how you feel about big active social events and partying. Many of us don't feel the need for "having fun at all costs" or a need to be surrounded by a group as a means of self-validation. Many of us are quite content with enjoying ourselves. I don't need constant stimulation or confirmation from others to be content. I consider it an evolution in my personal life path.

You need to try to understand this change and embrace it, counseling could help or meditation or whatever it is that makes you feel better. You certainly need to bring your spouse into the picture and help her understand the change and give her time to do so. Marriage counseling might be helpful with that.

I wish you well, Vicente.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:38 AM   #30
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Of course you're not a bore, Vicente (and we know you are not fishing for compliments, as we say!). I would bet that more people here look forward to your posts than anyone else's. And please, I need a couple of photos of your beautiful countryside right now!

Is your group of friends based on your wife's friends? That is true for a lot of married couples, I believe. If so, I would bet that you are not the only one who feels they do not fit in. And I would say you are not boring in this case, but you might be bored as the group is not discussing your interests.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:56 AM   #31
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just because the common circle of friends that you and your wife have don't have interests in common with yourself does make you a bore. It is very difficult to look interested in subjects you know little about and have no desire to discuss. The fact that you think you are a bore is just because you are sensitive and are disappointed you can't join in those conversations.

My wife and I have many totally different interests, in fact we watch TV in different rooms every night. Tonight I am going out with some old friends from where I used to work. My wife knows them and says they are all very nice, but has declined to come with me as we'll want to mostly talk about things that do not interest her in the slightest. Likewise when we meet up with friends that want most of the time spent discussing genealogy and the like, if there is a chance for me to not be there, then she understands perfectly, but if I am there, the the best I can do is try to stay awake.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:30 AM   #32
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My wife and I have many totally different interests, in fact we watch TV in different rooms every night.
It's a shame your wife wants to watch Swamp Loggers when The Bachelorette is on.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:34 AM   #33
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It's a shame your wife wants to watch Swamp Loggers when The Bachelorette is on.
Nailed it in one
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:38 AM   #34
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Thank you all for the kind words. And believe me: I wasnt fishing for compliments.
I see that I havent explained myself correctly. I dont consider myself a conversational bore, but, for sure, a social bore, in the sense that most of the things/activities that my friends like dont interest me at all, i.e. travelling, sports, partying, big social gatherings, TV shows in general ..... In the group -there are 14 of us- Im the odd one. When Im with them Im previously told by my wife to make an effort and fix a polite smile on my face. But more often than not that smile fades away to my wifes annoyance.
Hi Vicente. That sounds like my wife as well, and my face when we're around her friends.

Geez, I hope she isn't reading this.

Anyway, if that means you're a bore, then I am one too, 'cause I share many of your dislikes. For me, however, it doesn't mean I am a bore, but instead I am bored. This is probably your situation as well. IMHO, if you find social stimulation here, the problem is not you.

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Vicente, you cannot be a bore or you could not make droll statements like "I am a bore".

Bores never know it.

Ha
Mr. Ha, your wisdom is endless.
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Old 07-27-2011, 10:45 AM   #35
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Michael, Im sure Ha Ha meant to quote "The man who suspects his own tediousness is yet to be born"

Bestwife: You are right, Im talking about my wifes friends for whom I am a newcomer, adjoined simply by marriage.

And finally I base my being a bore in this other quotation:"Boredom: the desire to have desires"
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Old 07-27-2011, 10:51 AM   #36
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After several months of soul and mind self-examination, Ive reached the unpalatable conclusion that I am a born bore. Ive lost interest for the very few things that I apparently liked, and I dont seem to muster the will or desire to find new interests.
Another fact that supports my conclusion is that too many people bore me....and that seems unreasonable, ergo its all my fault.
My real concern these days is that I have to avoid at all costs dragging my dear wife down, making her miserable. She certainly deserves much better.

I am not asking for advice nor pity. I am posting this to let you know why I am not in the mood for posting.

PS. None of you can be classifien as people who bore me. Quite the contrary. For that I thank you all.
I think I'm exactly the same as you. I don't know for sure, because I didn't read your entire post.
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Old 07-27-2011, 10:52 AM   #37
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Old 07-27-2011, 10:55 AM   #38
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I think I'm exactly the same as you. I don't know for sure, because I didn't read your entire post.
Thankfully for you, we are not alike: I envy your many interests, not the least among them, cycling and playing gigs with friends.....!
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Old 07-27-2011, 10:59 AM   #39
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That's what I've been waiting to see, Vicente. Go meditate near that beach whenever you're feeling boring. Simply looking at your photographs brings us peace.
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Old 07-27-2011, 11:08 AM   #40
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The last thing I want is to disappoint you BestW. but dont you think that part tof the problem is having too much peace and solitude that brings up all my negative thoughts about not being interested in things?

What I need is having friends around me like the ones on this forum.....preferably speaking English, my permanent quasi-passion!
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