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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-06-2007, 09:24 PM   #21
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

I would have done more to help the people who didn't ask for it, and less for those who did.

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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-06-2007, 09:42 PM   #22
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

1. Never start drinking...

2. Stop drinking earlier than I did...

3. Bought more real estate

4. Learn to play the piano

5. Sell all my Mega Corp company stock when the merger was announced rather than wait to realize all the great benefits of the merger. Never happened!
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-06-2007, 11:27 PM   #23
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

20 years ago I was loading up on stocks. I should have sold them all before October!
The 401K was 60% stocks/ 40% bonds. I should have set it to 100% stocks from the get-go.
I should have got a bigger loan and bought a bigger house.
When the Dentist say's you need a root canal, believe him.
I should have found a new job quickly instead of putting up with a one hour one-way commute for six years.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-07-2007, 03:32 AM   #24
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Picked an asset allocation and implemented it with index funds, not devoting a single penny to individual stocks, ever.

I'm doing fine, but believe I'd be doing much better had I learned this at a young age.

- John
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-07-2007, 06:44 AM   #25
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by dex

... the one that got away

... didn't know love when I had it
Dex,

I think a lot of us (most?) have been in the same circumstance. I have/am. I wasn't going to post on this thread, but I'll say that even though I could wish I had been more willing to grab the one that got away, I have decided that part of what makes us who we are is being informed by the losses and the 'bad' decisions. Whether that was a woman, a job, a chance to move to a new locale, an opportunity to go on a road trip... doesn't really matter, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

I have often laughed out loud at people using what I call "Fortune Cookie Philosophy" but I'll be danged if I didn't literally get a fortune cookie this week with a good one: "If you look back, soon you will be going that way".

Ocassional reflection is probably good. Constant regret or idealizing the past would not seem to be.

"Out on the road today, I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac. Little voice inside my head said: 'don't look back, you can never look back...' "


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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-07-2007, 08:43 AM   #26
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Perhaps look after my health a bit better and get into the markets sooner. OTOH, I entered the labour force at a very difficult economic time in my home country, when you had to count yourself lucky if you had a job, any job. I emigrated to advance my career, LBYM and did whatever it took. I did not begin to feel secure till I had achieved a high degree of marketability and was a citizen in my adopted country. Not all my colleagues understood that.

Now that I am FI I am finally beginning to relax and say "no" to unreasonable demands on me.




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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-07-2007, 02:08 PM   #27
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

This is something I often think about when on vacation, and the conclusion I always come to is that I wouldn't change anything. There were one or 2 BIG turning points such as being head hunted for a job switch to Scotland and then 3 years later being head hunted again to go to the USA. Even if we had decided to pass on either of those we would still have been extremely happy with where we would probably have ended up, although certainly not as financially well off. But life is about happiness and as long as we have enough to enjoy life having lots more money doesn't increase happiness in a linear manner.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-07-2007, 02:22 PM   #28
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

There are a few small things I would have done differently but for the most part everything I did or decisions I made 20 years ago brought me to where I am now. The biggest thing I would have done is insisted on getting married sooner than we did and taking control of his finances so he wouldn't blow two very sizeable insurance settlements. Thankfully I was incharge of things by the time he sold his home for a nice profit, that check was in the bank before the ink was dry on his signature
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 06:39 AM   #29
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldMcDonald
All that hard wok did let me ER at under 40, but even now in ER there is a lot of travelling that I could no longer do...backpacking across Europe, sailing around the world etc, visiting islands if very far off and remote places.
Too risky now to drag a whole family along on those trips, and by time they all fly the coop (another 15 years), I'll be 58 and suspect that sleeping in a tent won't be nearly as appealing.....
(bolding mine)
Don't give up sailing - there is plenty of families with kids aging 0 to early 20ties circumnavigating the world on sailboats.
As far as being too risky - are you talking about physical risks? IIRC "the danger studies", sailing is safer than "living" in general and definitely safer than driving a car.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 07:19 AM   #30
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Personally, I haven't given up on sailing with a family...but my wife would need a lot of convincing - especially if out of site of shore - especially while the kids are small. (Neither of us have sailing experience)

Slightly off-topic: How long would it take, and how much training would one need to competenly sail a boat for several weeks at a time. The boat would probably need to be fairly large (big enough to sleep 6). For example sailing from Florida down thru the Carribbean during the "calm" season visiting the islands along the way? (i.e. not sailing transatlantic during the winter which is probably a whole other set of skills).

I'd love to start the process of learning but wouldn't even know where to start...how much "provable" skills do you need to get a bareboat charter?
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 10:43 AM   #31
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

The only thing I would change - I wish I had enjoyed more/not taken for granted some parts/moments of my life along the way.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 12:02 PM   #32
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ed_The_Gypsy
I would have saved 20% of my income and worked harder at LBYM.
When I started out, the information I read said "save 10%". It didn't say "10% for regular retirement at 67 or more if you want to FIRE" I'd have saved more.

I still struggle to live in the moment. As a natural obsessive compulsive planner, it is hard to not always have an eye on the future. Nevertheless, I have had my share of playing, some I would repeat, other things I will try to discourage my kids from doing -- if I can keep a straight face when talking.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 01:16 PM   #33
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandy
Nevertheless, I have had my share of playing, some I would repeat, other things I will try to discourage my kids from doing -- if I can keep a straight face when talking.
For my daughter's benefit, I try really hard to deglamorize my sex, drugs, and rock&roll days by boring her with my stories as frequently as possible.

I figure that the first time she's confronted with a similar situation, it'll remind her of dear ol' Dad and automatically evoke a nausea reaction that will wipe out any possibility of further investigation.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 01:17 PM   #34
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldMcDonald
How long would it take, and how much training would one need to competenly sail a boat for several weeks at a time. The boat would probably need to be fairly large (big enough to sleep 6)...I'd love to start the process of learning but wouldn't even know where to start...how much "provable" skills do you need to get a bareboat charter?
while some really like more space, a rule of happy long-term boating for many is buying not the biggest boat afforded but the smallest one they will be comfortable on. smaller boats are easier to handle so they tend to get used more & as most everything in daily boating is charged by the foot (dockage, paint, haulouts), cheaper to keep. if you are considering short-term sailing rather than full-time cruising, you don't need a stateroom for everyone but could make do with convertible areas for the youngest crew members.

while powerboats have more room so this won't be a direct comparison, but we lived on a 40 footer with my folks, me & our 70 lb weimar. problem was that i was going through adolescence and there's simply not enough soundproofing on any boat for that. so they had to get me a house. still, i think it is a wonderful life for a couple with small children. for part time sailing you'd be very comfortable in the low 40s, (some would say hi 30s but i think that's tight long-term for 6) but even for full time cruising, under 50 ft will do and that even with older kids. keep in mind that adding 3 ft on a boat is like adding 10 feet to a house.

for the inexperienced you should start with seamanship courses through the likes of your local coast guard auxilliary http://nws.cgaux.org or power squadron www.usps.org or fly to florida for some time with chapman's www.chapman.org . learning the rules of the road will make you safe and your fellow boaters happy.

for hands-on experience there is the school of hard knocks (oh, i was supposed to tie the anchor to the boat first) or you can have fun with sailing schools which take you out for daysails or even weeks at a time. also you can offer yourself as crew to sailboats to gain knowledge and experience through those already living the life.

shorter charters will likely just spend some time with you on their boat. i've never done this but i imagine they might spend up to half a day showing you the ropes and then send you on your way. you might be adviced to hire one of their captains to join you for the first day or two until you are comfortable.

for much better advice might i direct you to the seven seas association's forum www.ssca.org




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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 04:53 PM   #35
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

i have a new what i would have done 20 years ago.

i would have shot myself.

i just got an aarp pre-approved card in the mail. with my name on it. what the hell is this how did they even know i'm alive. i went to complain to one of my friends but just about everyone on my call list is over 50. now i have to find out which one ratted me out.

yup. had i known i'd be inducted into aarp one day, i'd've shot myself.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 04:59 PM   #36
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by lazygood4nothinbum

i have a new what i would have done 20 years ago.

i would have shot myself.

yup. had i known i'd be inducted into aarp one day, i'd've shot myself.
Don't be so negative. You can still do it!

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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 05:58 PM   #37
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Being younger my thoughts are a little different. 20 years ago I just finished elementary school, so what I would have changed is:

Studied harder, got better grades, got into a better university and did an exchange to a foriegn country instead of Hawaii.

I went to a "state" school, did a domestic exchange to Hawaii, learned to surf and get wasted and...date...a lot of girls. My younger brother is going to UC Berkley, and just flew to Amsterdam for a foriegn exchange program, is experiencing millenia old culture, getting a much broader world view and tangible experiences than I did, and from what pictures I've seen, is meeting cuter girls!

But I'm only 32, so the fact that I've learned not to take anything for granted at such a young age is a blessing, too. Many never do.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 06:20 PM   #38
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

ooo - good question and some great answers - for me the following:

20 years ago I was a 2nd Lt in the AF and married to my now ex. I wish I had done more research on the colleges I could have applied to (another *long* boring story but basically hinged on family situation and my ignorance), I wish I would have listened to my Dad about getting married too young....Nords may laugh at this, but I wish I had done more research on what an active duty career in the Air Force would have been like and not knee-jerked out of it faster than my committment was up (I'd be retired with a COLA'd Federal pension now!)..of course I wish I'd saved more, bought the right stock, yada, yada....

HOWEVER, I know that without those experiences I wouldn't be where I am today - that's how I learned to make better choices - I remember telling my girlfriend that I finally realized why we experience the 'downs' in life, so that we can know when we are truly in an 'up' situation - smoothing out the amplitude as one gets older helps as well (mellowing!).

Best decisions:

Starting to LBYM fairly early - late 20's
Starting Tax deferred retirement savings farily early - late 20's
Staying in the Reserves
Going to the graduate program I did for my profession
Taking the current job I have when I did
Getting the opportunity to 'test' out research and learning I hate it :-)
Taking the sabbatical/opportunity to work in Europe for 3+ years
Marrying my current husband
Breaking up with my ex-fiancee...which led to the previous two decisions (when a door closes and window opens...)

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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 08:11 PM   #39
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

30 years ago I got married instead of joining the Navy; that may have been my biggest mistake.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 11:38 PM   #40
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo!
Don't be so negative. You can still do it!
nope, already missed that funeral. now i'm stuck until my next window of opportunity, like if i ever had to w*rk again.
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