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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-08-2007, 11:49 PM   #41
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
For my daughter's benefit, I try really hard to deglamorize my sex, drugs, and rock&roll days by boring her with my stories as frequently as possible.
I am having a problem visualizing some of this.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-09-2007, 01:01 AM   #42
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

My wife and I had a tough time coming up with anything we would do different but here's a few small things:

- While moving to a big city helped us get to FI, we miss the small town life and wonder if we will like it again after living so long in a big city with all it has to offer
- I would have left my previous boss/company a few years earlier if I would have known how much more I like consulting work.

That's all we got,,,
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-09-2007, 08:48 AM   #43
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

I would have never been talked into buying a boat. Money Pit !
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-09-2007, 12:00 PM   #44
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
I would have never been talked into buying a boat. Money Pit !
Oh really?
How about a house?
How about a car?
How about kids?

All of above can be reasonably described as money pits
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Slightly OT: sailing
Old 01-09-2007, 02:34 PM   #45
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Slightly OT: sailing

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldMcDonald
Slightly off-topic: How long would it take, and how much training would one need to competenly sail a boat for several weeks at a time. The boat would probably need to be fairly large (big enough to sleep 6). For example sailing from Florida down thru the Carribbean during the "calm" season visiting the islands along the way? (i.e. not sailing transatlantic during the winter which is probably a whole other set of skills).

I'd love to start the process of learning but wouldn't even know where to start...how much "provable" skills do you need to get a bareboat charter?
As far as the size of the boat, it's like with the size of the house - everybody has an opinion
FWIW, last summer I chartered 32ft mono sailboat in Greece and it was big enough for us, sleeping 5 adults and 2 toddlers.

Do you have any sailing friends? Maybe you can bum a ride?
LG4NB suggestions were helpful as far as general boating knowledge goes, If you already know that you prefer sailboats ("rag boats") vs. powerboats ("stinkpotters") and don't have sailing friends I would probably recommend an ASA affiliated sailing school.
(There is another national sailing organization called US Sailing, but they are more into racing than ASA guys).
If you PM me with your location I might be able to suggest some local schools.
As far as how long it will take - from few days to the whole life, but for example you are considered qualified for a bareboat charter
after completing a week long liveaboard course here: http://www.bwss.com/bwsscourses.html

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PS: Winter Atlantic passages might be easier than some Carribean islands
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-09-2007, 02:40 PM   #46
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

I've been on a friends sailboat a couple of times and since then I've been hooked. I wish I could go more often but one day my dream is to have a sailboat of my own. 32 ft would be perfect, something to vacation on. Oh to many dreams not enough money.....
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-09-2007, 10:18 PM   #47
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Wow, it was almost 20 years ago that I was offered my dream job. My home base would have been in Bavaria (beer captial of the world) and I would have have been on the road to customers in five different countries. I was aching to travel abroad. I would have been given airfare for a vacation back to the states yearly, had 6 weeks of vacation per year (as opposed to two) plus Christmas week off. I also would have been paid a generous per diem.

I had just started a romance with a wonderful woman six months before, so I turned the job down.

Fortunately, we are still together. I am so glad I made the right choice. I also chose to spend most of my vacation time flying back to be with my parents in Michigan. My Father died three years ago and I don't regret all the overseas trips I didn't take. I have the memories of spending time with my Dad.

If I could do anything different, it would have been to pick a stock allocation, stick to it and buy index funds. No penny stocks, no high flying tech stocks. I also would have started saving sooner.

All in all, I think I have made the best decisions with the things that are most important to me.

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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-09-2007, 10:33 PM   #48
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ed_The_Gypsy
I am having a problem visualizing some of this.
Well, at least the parts where the statute of limitations has expired.

Seriously, though, talk about it until she's bored stiff. ("Oh, geez, Dad, not story #274 again!") I'd be even happier if she understands it from my experience rather than by her own.

I want her to understand how great that first illicit draft beer tasted fresh & cold out of the tap, and how I gazed deep into it with my wise 16-year-old eyes and swore that I'd never let it control me...

And what it's like to be so drunk that you (to this day) don't remember writing out the check for the dinner bill... but you can remember suavely strolling off to the bathroom to bazooka-puke your guts out without even getting any on your uniform...

Or the parties when I woke up and couldn't remember where... or got home and couldn't remember how... or woke up to hear the angels singing and really freaked out...

Or that Blue Oyster Cult concert where Security wouldn't let me smuggle in the fifth of Southern Comfort...

Or the other concert attendees twitching on the floor outside the First Aid office with just a large bedpan by their heads...

Or my shipmates paying child support in two different liberty ports...

Or the sailor whose wife broke into tears while he tried to explain that he failed the urinalysis because his brother-in-law brought the "special" BBQ sauce to the family reunion...

Or what you should do when you didn't ask but they told you anyway...

... you get the idea.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-10-2007, 12:48 AM   #49
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Oh. Booze. Occupational hazard in the military.

I thought there was sex, drugs and rock-and-roll in there somewhere.

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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-10-2007, 12:55 AM   #50
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ed_The_Gypsy
I thought there was sex, drugs and rock-and-roll in there somewhere.
Nah, I've tried them individually but I'm saving the trifecta for ER... hmmm... maybe I should discuss this with my spouse too!
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-10-2007, 01:07 AM   #51
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Wise move.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-10-2007, 08:34 AM   #52
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
Seriously, though, talk about it until she's bored stiff. ("Oh, geez, Dad, not story #274 again!") I'd be even happier if she understands it from my experience rather than by her own......... you get the idea.
I had never thought about using my stories to dissuade. Mine a still a bit young for that approach, but I will certainly give it consideration. I am a bit hesitent, however. These experiences contributed to who I am and the choices I made (personal and professional), so I worry that even 'story boredom' might only encourage. Afterall, I came through more than ok. But, I in retrospect, I was lucky. It could have gone wrong at any number of points, I wouldn't have had control, and you don't know in advance if that will occur. That is really the message, but hard to craft.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-10-2007, 03:10 PM   #53
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

I would have gone to college instead of working on the family farm for an opportunity to take over, (opportunity I was promised never came).

I started saving a large % of income early on, but I know I would have been years closer to Financial Independence if I had met a good Financial Planner when I was 18 instead of 32. I spent almost 15 years chasing hot stocks & mutual funds without a plan, my results just floundered and I still paid taxes.





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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-11-2007, 10:25 AM   #54
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

I guess that I LBYM'ed enough.....I think that I would have started my own business and recognized faster what work politics are all about....and not gotten mad as much as I did when I was younger....but hey, I guess you cant learn without living
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-11-2007, 11:29 AM   #55
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandy
I am a bit hesitent, however. These experiences contributed to who I am and the choices I made (personal and professional), so I worry that even 'story boredom' might only encourage. Afterall, I came through more than ok. But, I in retrospect, I was lucky. It could have gone wrong at any number of points, I wouldn't have had control, and you don't know in advance if that will occur. That is really the message, but hard to craft.
Well, many of my "significant life experiences" accumulated as a result of a total lack of foresight, planning, or safety equipment. That's a valuable life lesson to pass on. She already knows that the punchline to most of my sea stories is "Let's not do that again!"

As for the threat of encouragement, I can't think of a single opportunity that would have been enhanced by the application of generous volumes of alcohol. But I can recite many opportunities that were unrecognized or even ruined... yeah, things eventually turned out OK, but how much better could they have turned out if I hadn't made those "choices"?

She already knows (or has learned the hard way) not to let the horse control its rider and not to let the opponent control the pace of the tae kwon do match. I build on that by telling her not to impair her ability to take care of herself.

And, of course, there are some stories that will never be told. There's just no benefit to sharing some types of information with one's kids, and there's even the possibility of damaging the parent-kid relationship.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-11-2007, 07:45 PM   #56
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Focused more of my energies on career rather than being a homebody, mom and wife.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-12-2007, 12:34 AM   #57
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

I'd be more outspoken, more assertive, and not be overly "nice". I knew this was a little bit of a problem when one of my supervisors (over 20 years ago) made me take an assertiveness training class :P : . My sister was the same way at one time, and she told me that when you are "too nice" and don't speak up, people sometimes take you for granted and walk all over you like a carpet. I'm still working on this and have been getting better year after year.

I don't think I'd do anything different regarding my personal life or finances, except for maybe selling all my high-tech stocks at the height of the bubble in early 2000. So far, life has been very good to me and I am quite happy - especially since I was able to retire almost 3 years ago! 8)
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-12-2007, 08:08 AM   #58
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

[As for the threat of encouragement, I can't think of a single opportunity that would have been enhanced by the application of generous volumes of alcohol. But I can recite many opportunities that were unrecognized or even ruined... yeah, things eventually turned out OK, but how much better could they have turned out if I hadn't made those "choices"?

I agree. Now I only need to figure out how to craft the message. Sure is easier to correct financial mistakes than any past behavioral act that one now questions.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-27-2007, 02:42 PM   #59
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

Twenty years ago...Hmmm?

I would have listened more and spoke less, especially at work. I'm better at that now but there were times past when I should have simply said nothing and kept my peace.

I would have read more classical literature. I read more now, and realize how much of the value in a great book is the subsequent lifetime it takes to apply such profound insights. I was always a student, and perhaps I would have gained so much more through my purchase of great thoughts reading Dickens, Tolstoy, Aristotle, Dante, Emerson and so many more.

This reminds me of the years I was in my undergraduate studies. I recognised then, in the poverty of College, that I simply knew I would never have much money. So what did I want from life? In this question I came to believe (and still do!) that knowledge is a better objective than money, at least for me. I am pleased that the young man I once was had that wisdom and realized early that a life spent seeking it seldom brings regret. So the truly important decisions were well made in this small lifetime I enjoy.
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................
Old 01-27-2007, 03:09 PM   #60
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Re: If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

This would be going back 30 years for me:

1. I would have went and finished college.

2. I would have had my children about 2 years apart, instead of 10 1/2 yrs.

3. I would have visisted more with family and friends.

4. I would have started my savings program earlier.

No real regrets now though. I agree that life has been very good to me.
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