If I could go back 20 years this is what I'd do different................

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

Wise move.

 

[Sandy]

Seriously, though, talk about it until she's bored stiff. ("Oh, geez, Dad, not story #274 again!") I'd be even happier if she understands it from my experience rather than by her own......... you get the idea.

I had never thought about using my stories to dissuade. Mine a still a bit young for that approach, but I will certainly give it consideration. I am a bit hesitent, however. These experiences contributed to who I am and the choices I made (personal and professional), so I worry that even 'story boredom' might only encourage. Afterall, I came through more than ok. But, I in retrospect, I was lucky. It could have gone wrong at any number of points, I wouldn't have had control, and you don't know in advance if that will occur. That is really the message, but hard to craft.

 

[Empty Pockets]

I would have gone to college instead of working on the family farm for an opportunity to take over, (opportunity I was promised never came).

I started saving a large % of income early on, but I know I would have been years closer to Financial Independence if I had met a good Financial Planner when I was 18 instead of 32. I spent almost 15 years chasing hot stocks & mutual funds without a plan, my results just floundered and I still paid taxes.

 

[maddythebeagle]

I guess that I LBYM'ed enough.....I think that I would have started my own business and recognized faster what work politics are all about....and not gotten mad as much as I did when I was younger....but hey, I guess you cant learn without living

 

[Nords]

I am a bit hesitent, however. These experiences contributed to who I am and the choices I made (personal and professional), so I worry that even 'story boredom' might only encourage. Afterall, I came through more than ok. But, I in retrospect, I was lucky. It could have gone wrong at any number of points, I wouldn't have had control, and you don't know in advance if that will occur. That is really the message, but hard to craft.

Well, many of my "significant life experiences" accumulated as a result of a total lack of foresight, planning, or safety equipment. That's a valuable life lesson to pass on. She already knows that the punchline to most of my sea stories is "Let's not do that again!"

As for the threat of encouragement, I can't think of a single opportunity that would have been enhanced by the application of generous volumes of alcohol. But I can recite many opportunities that were unrecognized or even ruined... yeah, things eventually turned out OK, but how much better could they have turned out if I hadn't made those "choices"?

She already knows (or has learned the hard way) not to let the horse control its rider and not to let the opponent control the pace of the tae kwon do match. I build on that by telling her not to impair her ability to take care of herself.

And, of course, there are some stories that will never be told. There's just no benefit to sharing some types of information with one's kids, and there's even the possibility of damaging the parent-kid relationship.

 

[Zoocat]

Focused more of my energies on career rather than being a homebody, mom and wife.

 

[Toejam]

I'd be more outspoken, more assertive, and not be overly "nice". I knew this was a little bit of a problem when one of my supervisors (over 20 years ago) made me take an assertiveness training class : . My sister was the same way at one time, and she told me that when you are "too nice" and don't speak up, people sometimes take you for granted and walk all over you like a carpet. I'm still working on this and have been getting better year after year.

I don't think I'd do anything different regarding my personal life or finances, except for maybe selling all my high-tech stocks at the height of the bubble in early 2000. So far, life has been very good to me and I am quite happy - especially since I was able to retire almost 3 years ago! 8)

 

[Sandy]

[As for the threat of encouragement, I can't think of a single opportunity that would have been enhanced by the application of generous volumes of alcohol. But I can recite many opportunities that were unrecognized or even ruined... yeah, things eventually turned out OK, but how much better could they have turned out if I hadn't made those "choices"?

I agree. Now I only need to figure out how to craft the message. Sure is easier to correct financial mistakes than any past behavioral act that one now questions.

 

[LEX]

Twenty years ago...Hmmm?

I would have listened more and spoke less, especially at work. I'm better at that now but there were times past when I should have simply said nothing and kept my peace.

I would have read more classical literature. I read more now, and realize how much of the value in a great book is the subsequent lifetime it takes to apply such profound insights. I was always a student, and perhaps I would have gained so much more through my purchase of great thoughts reading Dickens, Tolstoy, Aristotle, Dante, Emerson and so many more.

This reminds me of the years I was in my undergraduate studies. I recognised then, in the poverty of College, that I simply knew I would never have much money. So what did I want from life? In this question I came to believe (and still do!) that knowledge is a better objective than money, at least for me. I am pleased that the young man I once was had that wisdom and realized early that a life spent seeking it seldom brings regret. So the truly important decisions were well made in this small lifetime I enjoy.

 

[Dreamer]

This would be going back 30 years for me:

1. I would have went and finished college.

2. I would have had my children about 2 years apart, instead of 10 1/2 yrs.

3. I would have visisted more with family and friends.

4. I would have started my savings program earlier.

No real regrets now though. I agree that life has been very good to me.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

1. Say no to "Janys" when she asked me out on a date. If I couldnt have avoided that, definitely dont go out with her sister and her cousin after that.

That pretty much would have covered it.

Learned my lesson to avoid women using odd 'y' and 'i' spellings in their names. And their relatives.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Wouldn't change a thing, except maybe the second marriage.
Otherwise......... no complaints.

JG

 

[sallie4th]

Wouldn't change a thing, except maybe the second marriage.
Otherwise......... no complaints.

JG

 

[Dog]

Going back 20 years.....makes me 29, married with a 4-year old daughter. What would I have done differently?

* Enjoyed my beautiful, sweet, shy child rather than trying to mold/control her. That is truly the only thing that keeps me up at night *

I'm sure I made lots of other mistakes over the past 20 years, but as others have said - it has helped shape me to be the person I am today. All in all life is good and I have more than I ever thought possible. I'm very lucky....my daughter loves me anyway.