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If You Could Change One Thing About Your Personality, What Would You Change?
Old 09-14-2009, 07:05 PM   #1
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If You Could Change One Thing About Your Personality, What Would You Change?

I think more than anything, I would like to lose the urge to impose my vision of things on another. Maybe if I am selling something on commission, sure I have to influence my clients. But otherwise, I would like to always assume that people know what they are doing, and not try to influence them.

One reason I like dating rather than being married is that even when I get ego involved, I am a much less ego involved than when my wife was making decisions that really mattered to me either personally or in down-to-earth ways like earning or spending money or like child rearing. If someone I date should decide to get purple hair, I can calmly see how I like her with purple hair. All I have to decide is "go", or "no go".

If I can do it subtly and in a way that is welcome, I want to help those who are close to me, but that can be really tricky to pull off. My kids seem just as stubborn as I am, and it is more important to me to get along than to explain right thinking. But I have to admit, this is a work in progress.

When I was 3 years old my mother called me overbearing, and I would say that though this was not very nice it was pretty accurate.

Ha
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:15 PM   #2
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I find it difficult to be assertive, even blunt with people to get a point across when that approach is exactly what is needed. I'm so diplomatic that I sometimes miss a chance to help them, because it means hurting their feelings. Some really positive turning points in my life came when someone who cared about me wasn't afraid to get in my face to get my attention.
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:23 PM   #3
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I would like to be a little less Jersey so if my SO put on an awful shirt I would say " That shirt really doesn't bring out the color in your eyes Honey " instead of " Are you seriously going to wear that awful shirt again ?" .
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:28 PM   #4
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I would love to be free of worrying that something bad is going to happen. Anxiety is something that I manage very well now, but every once in a while it rears its very ugly head.
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:44 PM   #5
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Not a damn thing. If I had a different personality I could be dead. No regrets. What I'm getting at if we were different who knows what choices we would have made. Believe me Ive made some real winners
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:48 PM   #6
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I would love to be free of worrying that something bad is going to happen. Anxiety is something that I manage very well now, but every once in a while it rears its very ugly head.
Oh, I have the same problem. DW calls me the perpetual worrier. In fact, I'm a little edgy tonight. Tomorrow morning I head to big Baylor in Dallas for an out patient procedure. Should be routine, but.....well, time for half a xanax.
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:54 PM   #7
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I would like to worry less about things over which I have no control. And things over which I do have control.
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:00 PM   #8
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Be a little less lazy.
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:05 PM   #9
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Probably for me not being quite so black and white on things. I think my problem is when it came to logic I was standing in line twice, so I find it hard to figure out why the hell others just can't see the obvious and dither so much.
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:13 PM   #10
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I would love to be free of worrying that something bad is going to happen. Anxiety is something that I manage very well now, but every once in a while it rears its very ugly head.
Ditto.
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:13 PM   #11
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I always had a problem with people saying one thing and doing something else. Now that I'm living in Florida it's very hard to control my temper as the saying one thing and doing something else is very common. I just wish I could relax and let it go, but I can't. A guy like me could get arrested down here.
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:40 PM   #12
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I always had a problem with people saying one thing and doing something else. Now that I'm living in Florida it's very hard to control my temper as the saying one thing and doing something else is very common. I just wish I could relax and let it go, but I can't. A guy like me could get arrested down here.
That's interesting. What is it about Florida that you feel is different from other places in that regard? I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary as far as "saying one thing and doing something else" but maybe I am missing something.
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:51 PM   #13
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That's interesting. What is it about Florida that you feel is different from other places in that regard? I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary as far as "saying one thing and doing something else" but maybe I am missing something.

Rich , Florida is where the southern way ( polite ,sweet ,slow ) crashes with the Northern way ( surly ,impatient and fast ) so that is where the problems start .
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:52 PM   #14
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I would be less lazy........

Nah! Can't be bothered to change that! (Kind of like those procrastinators putting off fixing their procrastination problem!)

Audrey

P.S. Actually, I think I'm still making up for decades of overachievement and perfectionism - two traits that I did eventually manage to jettison.
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Old 09-14-2009, 09:22 PM   #15
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Rich , Florida is where the southern way ( polite ,sweet ,slow ) crashes with the Northern way ( surly ,impatient and fast ) so that is where the problems start .
Our Gulf Coast (at least here in Tampa) feels more midwestern and southern than northeastern to me. Also, we live in an old residential neighborhood with tons of born-and-raised-in-Tampa people, so I guess I don't have a typical perspective.

I kinda like the mix. Then again I never would have pegged you as a Joisey girl.
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:27 PM   #16
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That's interesting. What is it about Florida that you feel is different from other places in that regard? I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary as far as "saying one thing and doing something else" but maybe I am missing something.
Well, where do I start. OK, I've had contractors say they were coming to my house numerous times and just never show up or call. The place where I bought my tires said they would pro rate my defective tires and jerked me around for months. Eyeglass place said one price and gave me a bill for another price. Roofing guy told me that he nailed my tiles back after a repair. The next day I had a solar guy over and he said he almost killed himself as a bunch of tiles were not nailed down.

I can go on and on, I can't believe you haven't experienced this type of treatment in Florida. As someone else said it's the laid back life style. But there are also plenty of scam artists down here.

Now I know there is some of this type of behavior everywhere but there's a lot more down here. I guess this is what you have to put up with to live in paradise. (heh)
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:34 PM   #17
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I can go on and on, I can't believe you haven't experienced this type of treatment in Florida. As someone else said it's the laid back life style. But there are also plenty of scam artists down here.

Now I know there is some of this type of behavior everywhere but there's a lot more down here. I guess this is what you have to put up with to live in paradise. (heh)
Wow, I'm impressed! You've discouraged untold numbers of potential retirees from moving to Florida without once mentioning property taxes, fire ants, pythons, alligators or malaria-carrying mosquitoes.
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:38 PM   #18
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What, they have those things here too? Wait a sec, I did see a fire ant once.
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Old 09-15-2009, 07:35 AM   #19
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I would say I need to pull back on over-analyzing people and situations. I've had close friends gently tell me that I "think too much".
PreFIRE, I tended to worry about what people did, but rationalized it out by telling myself I had to stop expecting people to act the way I wanted (or expected) them to.
PostFIRE, I've w*rked at and hopefully gotten a lot better about letting things go. A little...
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Old 09-15-2009, 07:40 AM   #20
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I can go on and on, I can't believe you haven't experienced this type of treatment in Florida. As someone else said it's the laid back life style. But there are also plenty of scam artists down here.
OK, I get what you're referring to - unreliabilty of the tradespeople you've dealt with. We have run into it every place we've lived (Wi, Az, Fl, NY). I'd say it's about the same for us here. Sounds lilke you've had especially bad experiences.

What part of Florida do you live in? I do hear more complaints about scams in South Florida.
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