I'm Irish, but could not wait until St. Pat's day
Being Irish means...
* you will never play professional basketball
* you swear very well
* at least one of your cousins holds political office
* you think you sing very well
* you have no idea how to make a long story short
* you are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf
* there isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone
* much of your food was boiled
* you have never hit your head on the ceiling
* you spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling
* you're strangely poetic after a few beers
* you're poetic a lot
* you will be punched for no good reason...a lot
* some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations
* your sister will punch you because your brother punched her
* many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary...and one is Mary
* someone in your family is incredibly cheap
* it is more than likely you
* you don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing
* you can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking
* "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge"
* you're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in
talent, you make up for in frequency
* there wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last kegger
* you are, or know someone, named "Murph"
* if you don't know Murph, then you know "Mac"
* if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know "Sully"
* you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy
* you are genetically incapable of keeping a secret
* your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room
and last but not least... Being Irish means...
* your attention span is so short that---oh, forget it.
Part-Owner of Texas
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx
In dire need of: faster horses, younger woman, older whiskey, more money.