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View Poll Results: Which Sex Is More Aware and Accurate in Understanding Social Nuances
Women 51 76.12%
Men 2 2.99%
No difference 14 20.90%
Voters: 67. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-15-2009, 10:10 AM   #21
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Women, because men aren't stupid...they just don't care (as another poster said). Maybe that alone makes men smarter than us?
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Old 01-15-2009, 10:27 AM   #22
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Wait a minute! You mean there are nuances going on ? When did this start?
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Old 01-15-2009, 10:27 AM   #23
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Definitely women. I am a disgrace to my gender because I am a female who doesn't always get it. Too blunt and just don't care for drama. To preserve the illusion of being the all knowing female, I married a guy who is absolutely more clueless than I. If I think a social nuance will matter for his career, I clue him in. Otherwise we just live in our own little world that is drama free.
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Old 01-15-2009, 11:04 AM   #24
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I too think women generally are more aware. At parties, I notice facial expressions, tone of voice, body stance etc... DH looks at the same people and thinks about going home, putting his sweats on and drinking a beer.
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Old 01-15-2009, 11:05 AM   #25
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Evil, sexist, foul-mouthed Best-of-Craigslist letter addressing gender differences. Bits of truth scattered therein amongst the misogyny.
best of craigslist : Girls Piss Me Off
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Old 01-15-2009, 11:38 AM   #26
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Men are good at manipulating world of physical reality, women are good
at manipulating the world of people and their emotions. (That's a tendency,
not an absolute; certainly there are very emotionally perceptive men, and
women who are good at designing airplanes). It's a nice synergy between
us, so let's all dig it and try not to get all frustrated about it. Our bodies are
pretty different and that tends to lead to some serious fun, so why should
the complementary differences in our minds be a surprise and why should we
let it be the source of so much grief ?
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Old 01-15-2009, 07:10 PM   #27
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I see a huge majority favor the proposition that women are more sensitive. Agrees with my observations, and also with the stereotypes.

At times women seem to me to be excessively concerned with protocol. My ex would get really mad at me for just walking up and asking for whatever I wanted, without checking to see if there was maybe some shy person hiding in the corner who had some kind of imaginary prior rights.

I say if the coast is clear, go for it. If it were that important to someone else they should be in front.

When she got really into it I just said, maybe you are too sensitive. If I were that bad people would be hitting me, and they are not.

Ha
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Old 01-15-2009, 07:34 PM   #28
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I know girls like that Ha, and they exhaust me. I don't know that I am all that attuned (like Khan, I think maybe the other girls should kick me out for not knowing the rules) to social nuances.
I am, however, considered an extremely good judge of character among my friends, both male and female. I have sniffed out some skunks that no one else figured out, and my "passing judgment" has made the difference for a friend to keep or discard a potential mate. I don't think I share this trait with many other girls though, as it is the skunks they are running by me to consider that they can't see at all!
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Old 01-15-2009, 08:02 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post

At times women seem to me to be excessively concerned with protocol. My ex would get really mad at me for just walking up and asking for whatever I wanted, without checking to see if there was maybe some shy person hiding in the corner who had some kind of imaginary prior rights.

I say if the coast is clear, go for it. If it were that important to someone else they should be in front.



Ha


That may have been more of where she was from than her sex . I grew up in the Northeast and most of the women there are the go for what you want type (sometimes too much so ).
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Old 01-15-2009, 08:23 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
I know girls like that Ha, and they exhaust me. I don't know that I am all that attuned (like Khan, I think maybe the other girls should kick me out for not knowing the rules) to social nuances.
I am, however, considered an extremely good judge of character among my friends, both male and female. I have sniffed out some skunks that no one else figured out, and my "passing judgment" has made the difference for a friend to keep or discard a potential mate. I don't think I share this trait with many other girls though, as it is the skunks they are running by me to consider that they can't see at all!
I don't know the rules, I can't 'read' the gestures or facial expressions or voice cues. Probably why my BP has gone down so much since retirement (and selective hermitude).
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Old 01-15-2009, 08:32 PM   #31
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We all know what's going on. Men just don't spend 2 hours on the phone dissecting the same situation from 20 different angles.
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Old 01-15-2009, 08:42 PM   #32
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A girlfriend once told me that she didn't want anything for her birthday. So that's what I got her. Nothing. She was upset.

There's two ways to look at this. Many people will argue that I was not in touch with her feelings because I should have known that no means yes. However, a more reasonable explanation is that she was not in touch with my feelings because she didn't know that I would take her for her word.

Many women think they're more in touch with emotional nuance, but they're not. Unfortunately, in our politically correct world where women are better at everything than men, men are often brainwashed to believe this too.

Women and men may be different in how they assimilate emotional clues, but this doesn't make women superior when playing the sensitivity game. Women, for example, often interpret meanings that simply aren't there. They will formulate irrational explanations for benign expressions. This often gets them into trouble, and it aggravates men to no end. "No honey, when I said you look good in that dress, it doesn't mean that I think you're fat."
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Old 01-15-2009, 08:57 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn View Post
A girlfriend once told me that she didn't want anything for her birthday. So that's what I got her. Nothing. She was upset.

There's two ways to look at this. Many people will argue that I was not in touch with her feelings because I should have known that no means yes. However, a more reasonable explanation is that she was not in touch with my feelings because she didn't know that I would take her for her word.

Many women think they're more in touch with emotional nuance, but they're not. Unfortunately, in our politically correct world where women are better at everything than men, men are often brainwashed to believe this too.

Women and men may be different in how they assimilate emotional clues, but this doesn't make women superior when playing the sensitivity game. Women, for example, often interpret meanings that simply aren't there. They will formulate irrational explanations for benign expressions. This often gets them into trouble, and it aggravates men to no end. "No honey, when I said you look good in that dress, it doesn't mean that I think you're fat."
I find this crap annoying. I do feel sorry for men trying to figure out wtf is going on. Indirectly it means that men have to guess whether or not I'm lying when I say 'yes' or 'no'.

How can I mean 'no means no', when men have been conditioned to think 'no means no' only occasionally (dependent upon unrevealed circumstances).

Sorry for the rant.
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Old 01-15-2009, 09:25 PM   #34
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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 01-15-2009, 09:39 PM   #35
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth; deal with it.
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Old 01-16-2009, 07:35 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn View Post
A girlfriend once told me that she didn't want anything for her birthday. So that's what I got her. Nothing. She was upset.

There's two ways to look at this. Many people will argue that I was not in touch with her feelings because I should have known that no means yes. However, a more reasonable explanation is that she was not in touch with my feelings because she didn't know that I would take her for her word.
This is a tough nut to crack. I once dumped a GF because she was nutty on stuff like this. If you didn't see through her false denials you were not caring. If you didn't take her real denials at face value, you were insensitive. Bye, bye, whack job.

DW is pretty straight forward. Neither of us likes to shop and we have all the stuff we need. We have a mutual agreement not to get expensive presents but it doesn't fully remove the tension. We both still worry about getting "something" for fear of being or appearing uncaring. Gift giving tied to occasions sucks. Much better to spontaneously give a gift.
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Old 01-16-2009, 08:29 AM   #37
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This is a tough nut to crack. I once dumped a GF because she was nutty on stuff like this. If you didn't see through her false denials you were not caring. If you didn't take her real denials at face value, you were insensitive. Bye, bye, whack job.
Part of the reason for dating, in my opinion, is to find out if a potential partner is compatible or not. Obviously this GF and you were not compatible. The same would be true for Shawn and his former GF. No big deal. At least, that's the way I see it.

It's not like women find "Mr. Right" the first time either, y'know. But when a good match is established, it's worth all the frog-kissing we had to do before we found that prince.
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Old 01-16-2009, 10:07 AM   #38
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Back in my Mega-Corp days, I remember the big gossips appeared to be men. One guy would say, “ever notice” and go into something I never noticed like “Lucy” is unhappy when “Fred” is out of the office, “Judy” is unhappy when “Steve” is out. Those two women worked for the two guys and my gossip’s theory was that Fred favored and protected Lucy while Steve did the same for Judy. There wasn’t even anything interesting going on like an affair. Oh, I get it now, maybe there was, only I didn’t pick up on the nuances?
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Old 01-16-2009, 11:13 AM   #39
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I think part of my feeling that women are more in tune to nuances is age-related--back in the olden days sometimes you could get things done only by reading between the lines of what people (often men) were saying, but things changed. My first job--all the women got flowers for secretaries' day, even those in managerial positions.

I don't think my daughter has the same radar. I also don't think the social nuance radars are particular worthwhile, as they pick up a lot of false signals, resulting sometimes in angst, paralysis, and overly thought out behavior.
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Old 01-16-2009, 11:29 AM   #40
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I voted women, but it is really case-by-case.
Years of training to observe and measure things has made me highly attuned to people's body language and speech patterns. The visual cues are easy once you know them. I can spot a phony a mile away.
dh2b does not really notice how people act. A hearing problem since childhood has caused him to evolve into a very poor listener.
I'm the watcher and listener.
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