Inheritance means test by relatives.

[ProspectiveBum]

Be aware of the possibility that after your parents die, said siblings will come sniffing around you.

Yeah, we've discussed those possibilities at length. In my case, I no longer have contact with my sister, and am content to let her fend for herself when that day comes.

Things will be a bit harder on DW's side. Her Mom has a very limited income, but does own a home and has some assets that will need to be divided. When the time comes, I'm going to try to stay as far away as possible from that inevitable mess. Fortunately, based on family history and her general health, MIL should be with us for at least 15 or 20 more years. A lot could change in that time.

 

[fisherman]

Well, if you go to the bible do not forget the story of the prodigal son.
But that son asked for forgiveness before he was welcomed back.
And there is also a jealous brother in it.

My in-laws use this one for unfair treatment between kids, IE enabling a deadbeat BIL and breeder wife for a time years ago. I throughly enjoyed explaining this story to them as it is a parable. We, all people, are the prodigal son and GOD is the father. It is his unconditional love for us that is being taught and not how to parent. The OP probably has heard this but it is worth mentioning. It of course is an interpretation of the story as is interpreting to be direction on how to raise a family. Some may not agree with either interruption. In-laws have since realized that keeping BIL on the dole just enables the same living way way way above their means and thus needing more help. They have cut them off finally. This concept is well taught and documented in the Millionaire next door. Maybe JayC could give a copy of that book to his father.

 

[chris2008]

Fisherman, I agree. Often people use the prodigal son as an example of "forgive and forget". But the father assuerd the jealous brother that "everything I have is yours". So the prodigal son was welcomed back, but not reinstalled in his former position and rights. He did not get a second chance to screw up. This is very different in the families we read about in this thread.

 

[kcowan]

Just an observation Keith...but aren't those seniors continuing to reward the always needy for their bad behavior?

Yes but that is one of the follies that those of us with saner minds have to accept. For a parent to believe that we are OK and not needy is high praise.

 

[ProspectiveBum]

For a parent to believe that we are OK and not needy is high praise.

I think that's an excellent way of looking at this situation.

 

[JOHNNIE36]

All the posts have been very intreresting in the way different folks looked at distributing their wealth and how the various posters felt about those distributions. In my case, our folks started early on making sure each child was treated equally, regardless of need. Three kids. Two are college grads and one became a nurse. Folks helped all of us out numerous times with the cost and probably paid half the cost. My mother was a bookkeeper and kept books on family expenses all during her life. Mom passed away first and in going through her things, found these detailed books on how sister was given a cash amount to equal the differences in cost of educations. Lot of work on mom's part. We all are close and never had an argument, and never would have over money. Regardless, mom's books would have negated the thought. I'll bet when all was said and done, the three of us were within $50 of each other over the years. Seeing the detail of mom's books, there was never a thought of checking. That was our folk's way of handling things.