Internet dating advice wanted/needed

[clifp]

I always google prospective dates and I am not upset when somebody does the same to me. I am actually a little suspicious when they don't show up on Google (i.e. is it a fake name).

Still I was happy that a Smart Money magazine where I foolishly talked about my net worth and my real name seems to have disappeared from the Google database.

[Notmuchlonger]

Quote:

Originally Posted by clifp I always google prospective dates and I am not upset when somebody does the same to me. I am actually a little suspicious when they don't show up on Google (i.e. is it a fake name). Still I was happy that a Smart Money magazine where I foolishly talked about my net worth and my real name seems to have disappeared from the Google database.

Guess Im nobody. Since I dont show up in Google. Even my polic..er never mind doesnt show up.

[HFWR]

Thankfully, I cannot be found via Google.

[SteveR]

Lots of Google hits on my name...only it is not me. Having a common name makes it hard to find someone sometimes. 20 pages and none were me.

[haha]

Lot of hits on my name, mostly in Germany.

Ha

[summer2007]

Shawn

I'm a little over 6 foot I get measured at about 6-2 in shoes a little less and a little more depending and I'm thin. I'm built like Tommy Lee of Motley crue. And I can tell you being this height dose NOTHING to get women's attention and I got a few friends that are my height and taller that can back me up on this one.

Anyway I did this study to try to cheer this guy up that was 5-9 and wanted to be 6 foot mainly because he thought that women really like that.

Well to me this is really laughable because growing up it always seemed that guys that were 5-5 to 5-9 got all the girls. So I set out to do this study to show him reality.

I got the same kind of numbers that you got and a 100 person sample is a drop in the bucket. But the same trend only the height difference in the women vs. men was about 1.7 or 1.8 inches shorter.

Here is some other data. In my sample of 100 I threw out all that did not answer so it's 100 that gave a height range, Out of the 100 only 6 girls that's right 6 would accept a guy that was shorter than they were and out of the 6 four were 5-8 or more. So that is 94% or about exactly what you came up with. It can also be the area you live in but that is a really close result.

I know throwing out the 6 makes the average higher because they are negatives but oh well.

Now out of the 94 that wanted a guy taller than them or the same height I added the inches up and got 302 which is an average of 3.21 inches taller that the girl wanted the guy.

But one other interesting thing was for the girls 5-7 and over the amount of height they wanted was only 1.48 inches taller. A lot of the girls were 5-10 or so that made up that sample.

To me it was worse than I thought and I thought the guy I did the study for would feel so much better but I don't think he did!

In mine out of the 5 that wanted a guy 6 foot and above they were 5-9 5-10 5-4 5-4 and the last girl who was 5-5 insisted on a guy 6-3 the other 4 were ok with 6-0.


Taller girls seem less concerned about height. Most were ok with same height or an inch or two taller.

Now as far as how many inches taller a girl wants if she is 5-2 I would think a guy 5-4 would be fine but if she wanted 5-6 who cares most guys are that tall anyway so it's not the amount that they want but the actual height that they want that matters I think.

I'm glad you did a study though it helps me with verifying what I came up with.

I too noticed that the women on dating sites look older than they say they are and some might be telling the truth. I have met women in that have told me their age and I was in disbelief they looked so much older. Two ladies at I know that live near me I thought were 10-15 years older than they were. It's just that some women refuse to take care of themselves and they look older as a result.

Being thin is a turn off for most women. I'm thin and I can tell you that most ladies don't like it. But there are a few that do and they seem to just go bonkers when they see thin guys. Bad news is some of them were not exactly what you would want going bonkers over you but hey.

In my life's experience if you are a guy and 5-6 -5-8 and are a little overweight you are a chick magnet!!!

I'm curious as to how many women in your study wanted a guy 6 foot or above?


Jim

[summer2007]

One other thing I forgot to mention on women wanting looks in a guy.

I spent a lot of time at public swimming pools when I was younger and me and my guy friends would just look at girls the whole time. But when we were there with girls they seemed to have very little interest in looking at guys. And if you are not looking at a swimming pool I think you just are not looking!

But I'm not sure how much looks really matter to women. It's got to be way less than to guys.

Jim

[Marquette]

216 hits on google for my name, and they're all me. Uncommon last name, two stupid books I co-authored, and way too many mailing list posts.

[dex]

Quote:

Originally Posted by summer2007 One other thing I forgot to mention on women wanting looks in a guy. I spent a lot of time at public swimming pools when I was younger and me and my guy friends would just look at girls the whole time. But when we were there with girls they seemed to have very little interest in looking at guys. And if you are not looking at a swimming pool I think you just are not looking! But I'm not sure how much looks really matter to women. It's got to be way less than to guys. Jim

I think we men just might not catch them looking. Some women talk about men just the way some men talk about women. They have women's magazines as do men - have you checked out Cosmo while in the check out line. Eden Gray - Guy Without His Shirt - March 2008 - Cosmopolitan.com
I don't think I have ever seen my abs.

[Texas Proud]

Summer....

I don't know the question you asked them to get your results.... if it was something like 'what height is acceptable'... then yes, women will accept someone a couple of inches taller or the same height if they are tall....

Or did you ask 'what height is your perfect man'.... I think you would get a different result with this question...

As you can see, one is 'OK, if I MUST'... the other is 'YEA, tall dark and handsome'...

As for thin, I tend to agree with you... they don't like a guy that is more thin they they are... makes them look fatter.... but they do not like men 'overweight' either... at least the ones on the internet... they like athletic looking guys (not all buffed out... but some muscles)...

I did meet one gal who loved the thin, nerdy looking guy.... and is married to one... and he is 6 or 6 1.... where I used to work, 90% of the guys were over 6 ft and all were married... the two single guys were me at 5 9 and a guy at 5 7 and thin... what was funny was that HE had women all over him... but he was a smoker and drinker and went to the bars all the time.... so was being hit on by the 'older' ladies because the pickins were a bit slim... but he enjoyed it...

[bbbamI]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveR Lots of Google hits on my name...only it is not me. Having a common name makes it hard to find someone sometimes. 20 pages and none were me.

I looked my name up and had 146 hits...none were me. I don't feel that I have a common name, so it kind of freaked me out.

It's really strange when you see your name in an obituary.

[W2R]

I had several hundred hits, but most of them were just from work or work-related scientific publications. I am listed in my father's obituary from over a quarter century ago, and my mother's obituary from last year. I found about equal numbers from "firstname lastname" and "firstname middle initial lastname" and "lastname, firstname middle initial". I also have maiden vs married names and haven't checked all the permutations.

I didn't find ANY so far that were reminiscing about what great fun I was on dates or as a friend. Guess I am boring! Time to ER.

[HFWR]

I was surprised to learn that I was killed in WWI...

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

...and that I am a pro bowler!

I also found my parents names at Willamette National Cemetery. (Jay Leno, that's 'will-AAH-met'. Great Obama joke, by the way.) And my father's brothers. A sombre Memorial Day moment.

[Shawn]

Summer (Jim),

To answer your question, I didn't examine how many women wanted a guy 6 foot or above. I did my match.com study several years ago. I have the data around here somewhere, but its not in front of me at the moment (I remember the 71 to 73 ratio, because it was the same ratio as what was in The Economist).

When calculating how much taller a man must be, I took the average of the range given by each woman (those who listed a range). If a 5' 5'' woman said she was interested in a 5' 8'' to 6' 0'' man, I used 5 inches as the desired difference (I ignored women who said they were interesting in a man of at least a certain height, and those who had an unrealistic range such as 5' 10'' to 8' 0''). My guess is that you took the minimum value of the range (i.e., in my example above you would have computed a differences of 3 inches, as opposed to my 5 inches).

In my match.com days, I'd use the height requirement that many/most women had for men as an "exclusion factor." What I mean is that I'd exclude women who had a height requirement that didn't span their own height. I'd do this even if I fell within their range. If I read in a woman's profile that she was 5' 2'' but was interested in a 5' 7'' to 6' man, I'd simply go on to the next profile. I'd do this with other criteria too, such as age. While people are free to be attracted to whomever they want, I didn't think I'd be a good match to women who had such specific criteria. I tended to be attracted to women who were more open (e.g., those that didn't have a height requirement). I considered that to be an indicator of a more compatible personality type.

You are correct. While women are more accepting of men who are slightly overweight, they do not go for slim/thin men (except for those with athletic builds). Yes, I'm speaking in generalities.

I appreciate your comments and your analytic approach to this. There's considerable data out there on sites like match.com. While these data are not necessarily representative of the general population, I think one can come away with good insight about what traits women (or men) find desirable in potential partners.

[Khan]

I don't show up on Google with my middle name.

I do show up with first and last name, but it's not me until page four; there is a somewhat famous PhD with my name.

[lazygood4nothinbum]

Quote:

Originally Posted by socca It's nice to live in the modern world, where it's not necessary to get completely entangled with a person to have a mutually satisfying relationship with them. One advantage of minimizing entanglement: the level of paranoia above isn't required. If I meet a nice woman who I respect and admire and we have fun together, then her problems don't necessarily have to become my problems. Of course, for some people nothing less than total entanglement isn't satisfying. To each their own.

i was simply describing steps to investigate the accuracy of claimed identification. i'm neither that paranoid nor that insecure but i might be that curious. i learned long ago that someone who appears spotless can turn up dirty years later, whereas someone who seems dirty on first sight might quickly clean up quite well.

but i do become involved with those who come close to my life. i do not live in a fast food world of friends. they are not easily disposed of and i hurt when they throw me away. i spit on disloyalty.

i have no issue with acquaintences or ships in the night and i enjoy those casual relationships on occassion as well without any, as you say, entanglements. but for those who we see on a regular basis, our friends, entanglements hold us secure against our fear of intimacy at every level and they allow us to share our lives so that even while separated in these bodies we are not alone.

[clifp]

Most of my google hits are work related also but there are few odd ball related hits, if you search in the right places. My favorite is after walking in my one and only marathon, at my ex girlfriends urging I signed up for the next years Honolulu marathon. (It is like $20 for super early registration).

By the time the marathon rolled around next year, I had come to my senses and no intention of doing a 2nd one. So I let one of the running coaches use my race number to run, so according to Google my fastest marathon is a very respectable time. Faster than my ex-girlfriend much to her consternation!

[Zoocat]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveR Lots of Google hits on my name...only it is not me. Having a common name makes it hard to find someone sometimes. 20 pages and none were me.

Me too. But I have an unusual last name so it's odd that there's this other woman with my name who has a big career that's all over the Internet. The real me has a few Google hits too (work related) but nothing that would tell anything interesting about me.

[BunsGettingFirm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by clifp I always google prospective dates and I am not upset when somebody does the same to me. I am actually a little suspicious when they don't show up on Google (i.e. is it a fake name). Still I was happy that a Smart Money magazine where I foolishly talked about my net worth and my real name seems to have disappeared from the Google database.

Oh yeah? How do I Google the story to make sure that it did disappear? I'm just busting your chops. Yeah, thanks to Google and the Internet Archive, my stupid ramblings and dumb ass programming questions from 15 years ago are still for the world to see.