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Is it "I" or "We"
Old 07-06-2003, 01:58 PM   #1
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Is it "I" or "We"

Many of you say things like, "I live on $24,000 per year, or I need $1mm in my kitty"- usually it isn't stated whether these amounts are for one person, or for a couple presumably sharing housing, basic communication expenses, etc.

One of my struggles is trying to fit my actual expenditures into the range that I see on retirement oriented boards. Sometimes i think I must have holes in my pockets.

Anyway, it woild be very helpful to me, and maybe to others, if people could make it explicit if they are talking about budget for one or for two.

Thanks,
Mikey
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"
Old 07-06-2003, 05:25 PM   #2
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"

Re. SS, my understanding is the same as yours. As far
as I know you have it right....................................
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"
Old 07-06-2003, 07:34 PM   #3
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"

I oftentimes use both "I" and 'We" interchangeably when discussing the early retirement aspects of me and my wife. Our plans generally assume that both are along for the ride.

While I may do the grunt work of financial forecasts, and cash flow studies, the wife is kept up-to-date where we stand at all times.

If one of the other were to pass away before the end of the financial plan, then a revised plan has to be put into place by the survivor. Each year in January, I put together a little plan for the wife in the event I don't make it to the following year. Otherwise, I always assume we are in this thing together.

Red
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"
Old 07-07-2003, 02:25 PM   #4
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"

Thanks for the additional info. I didn't mean to suggest that any of you would just let your wife sink or swim alone. I just didn't know if any given person was married or single-and hence I couldn't get the full meaning out of the figures.

I am married, but my wife has a separate lifestyle, so in effect for budget purposes, we are single. That may someday change I suppose, but then again, it may not.

It would be cheaper, though.

Mikey
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"
Old 07-11-2003, 02:50 PM   #5
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"

Hey Mikey! Re. "separate lifestyle" and "for budget
purposes we are single", would you care to elaborate?
My wife and I have been married about a year and a half now (second marriage for both) and although
I am satisfied with our financial/budget arrangements,
they are continually mutating. For example, she still works but I look forward to her joining me in
retirement. In the meantime, while our finances
are separate, I keep moving toward eventual
complete consolidation. Financial issues mainly
killed my first marriage and I am trying very hard to
avoid problems. Of course, things are very different now
vs. marriage number one.
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"
Old 08-24-2003, 05:12 AM   #6
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"

This is a little twist on the "I vs. We" issue. As the regular visitors know, I've been ERed a long time.
Although my wife (of 2 years) and I share the same
ultimate goals, she is 5 years younger, has limited
financial resources and still works. Now, my plan was to gradually consolidate our finances (in spite of the large
imbalance in our situations) because I felt it was the
proper thing to do and because I would like for her to be able to cut back on work. Obviously, this would enhance the enjoyment of ER together. As usual, the
devil is in the details. She feels she must continue to work at "something" and I kind of agree. But, she would
prefer to have her own business (we are both former
entrepreneurs). While my brain bubbles over with ideas,
I do not want to get involved in "working" at anything.
If I was 10 years younger I would dive right in. Can't
do it now. Sooooooooooooo, she continues to work
at a job she doesn't really like while I try to improve her
situation without disrupting my carefully constructed lifestyle. A real conundrum. Anyone else care to share
their thoughts on this? BTW, obviously we have a prenup, but I hoped it would become superfluous at
some point.
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"
Old 08-24-2003, 10:53 AM   #7
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"

I is 3. Same girlfriend for 28 years and an 87 widowed mom who got too old to live alone. Investment is defered to me do to lack of interest. Budget is joint.
Beware of twists- I can think of three UN ER's - one went from Mexico to Florida to help his son's business(originally his). The second is helpng his daughter's business. And the third got tired of golf and bought a small business to play with. All became full time.
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"
Old 08-24-2003, 12:30 PM   #8
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"

Re. "beware of twists", not to worry, I am super cautious. Was boat shopping last week and during
conversation with the saleman we touched on my ER
status. He said he had been retired, then got into a business he knew little about and went broke. Soooooooo, he is back working. There are a
thousand ways to get in trouble, and many you haven't even thought of yet. I am famous (infamous??)
for worst case scenario analyzing. It is hard wired into
my brain, possibly the result of being blindsided
repeatedly over my lifetime.
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"
Old 11-17-2003, 02:32 AM   #9
 
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"


In our Sunday paper was a letter to 'Annie's Mailbox'
(formerly Ann Landers column) from a woman
bemoaning the fact that her 53 year old husband
wanted to keep all financial stuff/investments
separate, whereas she wanted to "combine".
The answer to her concluded that her husband
"seems particularly skittish" and opined that
"Something else is going on." There may indeed be
something else going on, but I can think of at least 2
reasons for her husband's behavior. This is his first
marriage and after being single most of your life, blending your money would be scary as hell, no matter how much you loved the other person.
Secondly, the letter said they had a pre-nup.
Commingling your assets can mess up the intent of a
pre-nup if there is ever a problem in the marriage.
In some cases it may even void the agreement.

My wife and I (2nd marriage for both) have virtually
everything separate. At the same time, we each try
to arrange our own affairs to take care of the other's needs long term, such as in case of illness or by
providing life insurance, etc. Works for us.

John Galt
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"
Old 11-17-2003, 04:27 AM   #10
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Re: Is it "I" or "We"

Twenty seven years and counting. Her checkbook is balanced to the penny - mine hasn't been balanced since 1965. She picked the campers, I picked the the trucks. She think's a few quality brand names, I tend toward bulk generic. The 401k's, IRA's were mine to allocate over time - max. deduction over the years. Split budget's - her turf and and my turf plus each a little hobby money - plants vs fishing stuff, etc. has worked - except she has picked slightly more vacation spots than me over the years - spa/cruise versus backpack/campground. As long as you agree on what you disagree on, it will work - after LBYM and DCA.
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