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Is the grass greener elsewhere?
Old 08-22-2017, 04:16 AM   #1
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Is the grass greener elsewhere?

There's a post about the 10 best places to grow old that received a lot of negativity. "I couldn't live in Xxxxx because of the people." It got me to thinking about my experience relocating.

About twelve years ago the wife and I owned a tiny cape cod in a town with a so so school district. It was 15 minutes from a harbor where I could catch rock fish on poppers at dusk. We had upgraded everything, added two bedrooms with skylights and a big bathroom to the second floor. I was as 'snug as a bug in a rug' there. Then the neighborhood started to change. I became unhappy with my kids catholic school experience and the annual school budget battle. The opportunity popped up to move to Pennsylvania. It seemed like a way to leave the density and insane prices on Long Island.

I sold that tiny cape cod for $500k and bought much bigger house for $70k less. We have a kitchen table in the kitchen! I lost the fishing but gained a big garden.. (BLTs last night). My kids attended a stellar school and the taxes were the same. A couple of friends followed us to escape the insanity of metro area. Every one of them is happier. Others expressed a desire to move but felt trapped because of relatives living nearby. They will live their lives out with 40 miles of where they were born.

It is a big country and I believe too many people don't avail themselves of the better life that's out there. You don't have to pay $500k for a tiny house and $10k school taxes. You may lose that awesome pizza place around the corner but you may see a red fox on your lawn. Once moved much of being happy is making the most of what your new location has to offer. Not dwelling on what you gave up.

I can't help but think life retirement is much the same. I see it as an adventure.

So few will take a chance.. and I think it is a pity.
Anyone else relocate to a better life Care to chime in?
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Old 08-22-2017, 04:28 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by rayinpenn View Post
Much of being happy is making the most of your circumstances.
That sentence doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of what you wrote.
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Old 08-22-2017, 04:34 AM   #3
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That sentence doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of what you wrote.
Thanks I clarified it

Once moved much of being happy is making the most of what your new location has to offer. Not dwelling on what you gave up...
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Old 08-22-2017, 04:50 AM   #4
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I can say this. In January, the grass is certainly greener in Florida than in Minnesota... (and pretty much October through the end of April...)
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Is the grass greener elsewhere?
Old 08-22-2017, 04:55 AM   #5
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Is the grass greener elsewhere?

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I can say this. In January, the grass is certainly greener in Florida than in Minnesota... (and pretty much October through the end of April...)

Yes but doesn't the slow motion of the locals make you crazy? (I've heard this as a reason why "I could never live there".)
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Old 08-22-2017, 05:11 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by rayinpenn View Post

I can't help but think life retirement is much the same. I see it as an adventure.

So few will take a chance.. and I think it is a pity.
Anyone else relocate to a better life Care to chime in?
Pity me all you want but I do not need to relocate to another area of the country to enjoy my life.
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Old 08-22-2017, 05:34 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by rayinpenn View Post
There's a post about the 10 best places to grow old that received a lot of negativity. "I couldn't live in Xxxxx because of the people." It got me to thinking about my experience relocating.
No matter what the topic happens to be, the answers will cover much ground.

To some extent, an individual may desire to wander for greener grass. I know my spouse has this trait. However, we've stayed in the general area of both sets of parents.

One child is on another continent, while one has stayed on the East Coast near us.

Have been studying a lot of family history, and believe I am seeing a tendency to wander, after a few generations "stay put" in a core geographic area. For example, of all nieces and nephews on my side of the family, the majority have moved on for greener grass. This includes moves to China, Australia, California, etc. There are also intermediate moves, such as Virginia.

There is also correlation to what colleges they went to, and where the first job out of college happened to be.

This probably best describes my feeling:
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Old 08-22-2017, 06:17 AM   #8
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I am on my 4th state, and 6th city. All were either "up north" or Midwest. All were nice places to live, raise a family, etc. Two eventually became dried up factory towns with little career potential, so I moved on. When I lived up north, hunting and fishing were big. Another city had a huge following for AAA baseball and college sports. I now live in a mid-sized city, with professional sports the local thing to follow.

I like the different experiences of each place. I have never had to worry about parents living nearby, and most of our kids relocated after college-so that has not been a problem.

To each his own...
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Is the grass greener elsewhere?
Old 08-22-2017, 06:21 AM   #9
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Is the grass greener elsewhere?

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Originally Posted by Dawg52 View Post
Pity me all you want but I do not need to relocate to another area of the country to enjoy my life.

I didn't say everyone has to relocate that would be silly -you are likely one of the lucky ones.
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Old 08-22-2017, 06:26 AM   #10
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I think any place has good and bad points. What makes the difference is whether your personal scoring value for those has more positive than negative.

I have lived in many states: CA, OH, KY, TX, NM. Each has good points. For me I retired and recently moved to OH from NM as my last location. Primarily to be near family, but also because NM had too many negatives for me.

I have never felt the need to put down roots real deep in any area. I make the best of where I am at. However over time I have developed a better understanding of what I like and don't like in an area.
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Old 08-22-2017, 06:48 AM   #11
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Pity me all you want but I do not need to relocate to another area of the country to enjoy my life.
While I appreciate a good view, my extensive social network is far more important than looking at a body of water or a mountain. I've said it before on this site...I can take a trip any time I want, but friendships of 30 - 40 years can't be replaced.
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Old 08-22-2017, 07:00 AM   #12
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Great post. We've relocated all our lives, and will at least once more. I agree with the OP you can be happy, or unhappy, almost anywhere. Living in a high COL area does not guarantee a better life. And there are many high COL areas where you can live at a much, much lower cost within 30-60 miles and enjoy all the benefits of the high COL area. Chicagoland is a perfect example, there are hundreds/thousands of others.

But with every relocation we've encountered lots of folks who still live within a few miles of where they were born, with no desire to try anywhere else. I've learned there's no changing their minds - and why try? It's usually because family is all around, and/or they're not sure they can replace their lifelong friends, and I can understand maintaining those connections. But to those who've proudly volunteered 'this is the best place to live, we'd never move' - when I ask 'how do you know if you've never lived anywhere else?' (vacation/visits are not the same), I've yet to get a response. They don't know, and don't care, and that's fine...
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Old 08-22-2017, 07:13 AM   #13
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"Greener pastures" is like "one more year". Some people always feel the need for more, while others find it easier to say "good enough" and make do.
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Old 08-22-2017, 07:14 AM   #14
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We live here now......we could easily live somewhere else.
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Old 08-22-2017, 07:28 AM   #15
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Pity me all you want but I do not need to relocate to another area of the country to enjoy my life.
Spoken by someone who has always seemed to me to be one of the happiest people here! Probably true of most people who aren't interested in what random lists call the best place to live. "Bloom where you're planted" is one of my favorite sayings, whether we plant ourselves, or a job transfer did it for us, or we continue family roots, or we decided on a late-in-life uproot. I went a thousand miles for college (from a place I could never bloom) and stayed away; DH and I encouraged both our children to spread their wings for college too. Siblings of DH and me stayed put. No one's "happier" but then it's not really a contest.

Looking at summer winding down outside my house and planning a week or two or more winter escape.... midwinter is not fun but not enough to make us ditch the rest of our life here. But maybe I'll feel different in January!
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Old 08-22-2017, 07:55 AM   #16
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We live here now......we could easily live somewhere else.
That pretty much sums it up for me too
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Old 08-22-2017, 08:34 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by rayinpenn View Post
There's a post about the 10 best places to grow old that received a lot of negativity. "I couldn't live in Xxxxx because of the people."
That was in reference to Utah, I believe; beautiful place, nice people. We don't live far from there.

I'm guessing it was a political reference since the poster lives in MA. Personally we moved here from Texas 6 years ago not knowing a single soul and have no regrets.

People are people everywhere.
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Old 08-22-2017, 08:41 AM   #18
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While I appreciate a good view, my extensive social network is far more important than looking at a body of water or a mountain. I've said it before on this site...I can take a trip any time I want, but friendships of 30 - 40 years can't be replaced.
This is one of my major concerns. Moving to a new place without knowing anybody there is really tough. It will take many years to get to know people well, which is more difficult when you are retired and have no potential friends at work places, even more difficult if you travel a lot.
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Old 08-22-2017, 08:58 AM   #19
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This is one of my major concerns. Moving to a new place without knowing anybody there is really tough. It will take many years to get to know people well, which is more difficult when you are retired and have no potential friends at work places, even more difficult if you travel a lot.
It was really easy for us.

We joined a country club a quarter mile by the house and use it a lot. Made some really close friends. I still keep in touch with my peeps from Houston and we don't miss living there. Htown is just a short 3.5 hour flight.
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I hope so
Old 08-22-2017, 08:59 AM   #20
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I hope so

The grass is certainly greener because my needs will be different. For one thing, I won't be raising any more children.

After decades of choosing a house based on the entailed schools, when I retire I want to live in an area I'd go to for vacation. That means easy access to boating, not too hot, and empty most of the year. So I'll trade 5 BR in the burbs for 3 BR on a remote waterfront.

Plus a hammock.
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