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Is this inappropriate behavior?
Old 07-07-2012, 10:31 AM   #1
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Is this inappropriate behavior?

I have been married to the same man for a long time, and like most couples, we have plenty of disagreements and rough spots. But whenever we're standing in line, I find myself patting his back, holding him around the waist, etc. Not icky sloppy smoochy stuff, but definitely public affection. There is this nice male waistline in a clean T-shirt just ahead of me in line, after all, so why shouldn't I put my arms around it.

I never see other women, except very young ones, doing this with the men they are with. I can hardly believe that all the other other middle-aged couples are unloving, or that we are the only ones who care for each other.

Could my behavior be inappropriate? Nobody has ever said anything to either of us about it.

Curious what others think.

Amethyst
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:36 AM   #2
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My wife does that to me too As the husband, I like it. I like it when my wife shows affection to me in public or private, so if that is inappropriate--bring it on baby!

She often holds my hand, etc. We are in our 50's and personally I don't see anything inappropriate about it.
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:37 AM   #3
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Depends where you live. Public displays of affection are OK in San Fran, but they were not where I lived before (south).
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:38 AM   #4
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I think it's very sweet, Amethyst, and it wouldn't bother me at all if you and your DH were in line ahead of me.

But do your best to keep your hands off his other nice body parts while you're in public
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:50 AM   #5
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GET A ROOM!!!!!


OK, someone had to say it....


But no, I do not think it is inappropriate.... heck, my DW and I will kiss at different places (just a peck, not sloppy).... and nobody has said anything except the kids....
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:56 AM   #6
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I think it's very sweet, Amethyst, and it wouldn't bother me at all if you and your DH were in line ahead of me.

But do your best to keep your hands off his other nice body parts while you're in public
+1

I sometimes put my arm around F. briefly and give him a little hug/squeeze under circumstances like that, too. Or, he will put a hand on the small of my back briefly.

On the other hand, I wouldn't engage in long, passionate French kissing on the streets. I have seen young couples doing that here, but we aren't young any more and prefer our privacy. Sometimes if they are doing this for a long time I feel like yelling "get a room!". But otherwise it just seems like young love.

I don't think what you are doing is inappropriate, and I doubt any of those observing you would think so either. I guess the reason the other couples aren't doing it, is simply that they feel more comfortable leaving these signs of affection to times when they have more privacy.
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:00 AM   #7
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I agree...

A.

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+1

I wouldn't engage in long, passionate French kissing on the streets. .
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:50 AM   #8
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It depends on the cultural context. What you describe should be acceptable in most of North America, but not in many parts of the world, e.g. The Middle East.
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:53 AM   #9
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Amethyst is just marking territory.
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:55 AM   #10
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We have been together for almost 30 years, and we still hold hands and kiss in public. Amethyst, I think it is sweet that you are affectionate with your SO when you are out and about. It is good for people to see that relationships between older adults can be vibrant...and it gives hope for the young.
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Old 07-07-2012, 01:37 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
I have been married to the same man for a long time, and like most couples, we have plenty of disagreements and rough spots. But whenever we're standing in line, I find myself patting his back, holding him around the waist, etc. Not icky sloppy smoochy stuff, but definitely public affection. There is this nice male waistline in a clean T-shirt just ahead of me in line, after all, so why shouldn't I put my arms around it.

I never see other women, except very young ones, doing this with the men they are with. I can hardly believe that all the other other middle-aged couples are unloving, or that we are the only ones who care for each other.

Could my behavior be inappropriate? Nobody has ever said anything to either of us about it.

Curious what others think.

Amethyst
Not only is it appropriate, it is lovely. Most men would die for this. Keep it up.

Ha
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Old 07-07-2012, 01:44 PM   #12
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I see nothing wrong with it; it's not like it's a massive PDA.

Having said that, I can remember when I was single and lonely for quite a few years, and seeing that sort of thing tended to depress me and reminded me of my own loneliness. Still, you can't live your life worrying about not offending the prudish or depressing the lonely.
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Old 07-07-2012, 02:09 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post

Could my behavior be inappropriate? Nobody has ever said anything to either of us about it.

Curious what others think.

Amethyst
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IMO absolutely not. To me, there is nothing better than a delicate, loving touch regardless if it's in public or private.

Lord help the person that would say anything snarky to me about holding a hand, patting a back, giving a hug, etc to someone I adore.

Perhaps I should stay away from the Middle East. Coz I ain't changin' my ways regarding this subject.
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Old 07-07-2012, 02:14 PM   #14
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There's a line between affection and sexual behavior. Public displays of affection such as you describe are perfectly fine. Groping erogenous zones and passionate open-mouthed kisses should be reserved for more private settings.

I enjoy seeing people display affection--not sexual behavior--in public. And the older the couple, the more likely the onlookers are going to say, "Awwww...they still love each other!" rather than "Get a room, you two."
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Old 07-07-2012, 03:25 PM   #15
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Could my behavior be inappropriate? Nobody has ever said anything to either of us about it.
Curious what others think.
We only behave like that when there's a chance for our daughter to get grossed out by it.

No, actually, we're like that pretty much all the time. But it can lead to trouble when you later hear a one spouse ask another "Hey, why aren't we more like that?!?" Of course it's their problem, not ours.

But I suppose it could get out of hand and cause a ruckus:
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Old 07-07-2012, 03:29 PM   #16
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Of course it is ok. We are older, not dead.
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Old 07-07-2012, 03:32 PM   #17
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Of course it is ok. We are older, not dead.
+1
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Old 07-07-2012, 03:38 PM   #18
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Absolutely not.

Take care Amethyst.
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Could my behavior be inappropriate?

Amethyst
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Old 07-07-2012, 03:44 PM   #19
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DH and I also have been married a long time. Got hitched in '74. We generally don't display affection in stores and other public places but often do if we're at a party or with family. Just us.

The behavior you described wouldn't bother me at all. I agree with others that more passionate displays of affection are better in a private setting. There are exceptions to every rule however....
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Old 07-07-2012, 04:09 PM   #20
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We hold hands for short periods and pat each other on the back or put our arm briefly around the other's waist. Neither of us like constant touching, so it's occasional, not often.
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