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Old 09-13-2010, 08:05 AM   #2421
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A Dictionary of the Near Future

Examples:

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CRYSTALLOGRAPHIC MONEY THEORY The hypothesis that money is a crystallization or condensation of time and free will, the two characteristics that separate humans from other species.

DESELFING Willingly diluting one’s sense of self and ego by plastering the Internet with as much information as possible. (See also Omniscience Fatigue; Undeselfing)

FRANKENTIME What time feels like when you realize that most of your life is spent working with and around a computer and the Internet.

GRIM TRUTH You’re smarter than TV. So what?
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Old 09-17-2010, 05:55 PM   #2422
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EARLY BOOMER QUIZ (Correct answers are at the end)...you won't have to go too far to see how poor your memory is.

01.After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, "Who was that masked man?" Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind." What did he leave behind?________________.



02.When the Beatles first came to to the US in early 1964, we all watched them on The ______________ Show.



03'Get your kicks on route _________________.



04.'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to __________________.'



05.'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ______________.'



06.After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '____________.'



07.Nestle's makes the very best . . . . ______________.'



08.Satchmo was America 's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.



09.What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.



10.Red Skeleton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, ______. '



11.Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their_____________.



12.The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. By what other names did it go?___________.



13.In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to _________________.



14.We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.



15.One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ______________.



ANSWERS :



01.The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.



02.The Ed Sullivan Show



03.On Route 66



04.To protect the innocent.



05.The Lion Sleeps Tonight



06..The limbo



07.Chocolate



08.Louis Armstrong



09.The Timex watch



10.Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'



11.Draft cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have guessed)



12.Beetle or Bug



13.Buddy Holly



14.Sputnik



15.Hoola-hoop
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Old 09-17-2010, 09:59 PM   #2423
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13. What about The Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens?
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Old 09-18-2010, 12:09 AM   #2424
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13 1/2. I missed #1 and half of #10. Not bad for a very late boomer.
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Old 09-18-2010, 01:26 AM   #2425
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Born in 1972. I knew all but 2. Perhaps I should get out more.
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But you can hit'em upside the head a few times to make sure they are really out...
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Old 09-18-2010, 02:34 PM   #2426
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harley View Post
13. What about The Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens?

You get extra credit for providing a more complete response.
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Old 09-29-2010, 10:21 PM   #2427
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OK, I thought this was kinda funny:

Short Selling? Got Two Mortgages? Welcome to Hell.

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Hyperbole and a Half
Old 09-30-2010, 12:39 AM   #2428
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Hyperbole and a Half

Hyperbole and a Half

Great blog with funny pictures...perfect for those of us too lazy to read.
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Old 10-01-2010, 08:11 AM   #2429
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2010 American Economic Association humor session



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Old 10-01-2010, 08:12 AM   #2430
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And from The Onion
Something About Tax Cuts Or Earnings Or Money Or Something In Recent Economic News | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
Quote:
According to numerous articles and economics segments from major media outlets, experts on banks and such have become increasingly concerned over a new extension or rates or a proposal or compromise that could signal fewer investments, and dollars, and so on.
./.
Some sort of tax cut or earnings or money or something was reported in economic news this week in further evidence that a lot of financial- related things have been going on lately
./.
There might be a light at the end of the tunnel, but right now the markets are still struggling, the man who was wearing a blue suit and red tie said about some special money tunnel. At this point, though, it's too early to say
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Old 10-14-2010, 07:29 PM   #2431
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While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the

elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator

rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven...

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed

in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil smiles at him and says,

"Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted.."


Vote wisely on November 2, 2010


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Success Rules
Old 10-17-2010, 06:13 PM   #2432
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Success Rules

There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know.



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Old 10-18-2010, 02:39 PM   #2433
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Did you ever know that I used to be a bank teller? That was a great job. I was bringing home $450 000 a week.



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Old 10-21-2010, 06:29 PM   #2434
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WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE---I'M BROKE!!

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good
morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of
your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered
vacuum cleaners.' 'Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't
got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.? Quick as a flash,
the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.?
Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my
demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto
her hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces
of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the
remainder.' The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get your
ass a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this
morning.' What part of I'm broke don't you understand?
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Senior Citizen and the BMW convertible
Old 10-22-2010, 04:14 PM   #2435
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Senior Citizen and the BMW convertible

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 100mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the motorway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 120mph, then 140 then 160mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes.
Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Enjoy your weekend, Sir"
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Old 10-22-2010, 08:57 PM   #2436
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Old 10-22-2010, 09:53 PM   #2437
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If it's red, does that mean we're not keeping up?
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Old 10-22-2010, 10:31 PM   #2438
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Nice one Harley

DW has a T-shirt that DD bought her that says, "There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't"
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Old 10-22-2010, 11:31 PM   #2439
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Hmm. I know where you go.
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Old 10-22-2010, 11:55 PM   #2440
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I fail to see the humor of that bumper sticker. It's quite poor taste to brag about one's expertise/understanding in a subject that has little or no effect in everyday life. I also wonder how many of those sticker's owners really understand the physics phenomenon associated with that message.
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