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Old 10-27-2011, 01:52 PM   #2801
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True story:

I live in Idaho, and I can't find a single place in town to buy Idaho potatoes. Our local Rotary clubs big fundraiser is selling Idaho potatoes-cuz we can't get'em in the north end of the state.

They are all sent out of state!


Quote:
Originally Posted by brewer12345 View Post
Four guys are driving across country together: one from
Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, and one from New
York.

A short way down the road, the man from Idaho starts to pull
potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window.

The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, "What the heck are
you doing?"

The man from Idaho says, "We have so many of these things in
Idaho they're lying around on the ground. I'm sick of
looking at them!"

A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins
pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the
window.

The man from Florida asks, "What are you doing that for?"

The Nebraskan replies, "We have so many of these things in
Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them!"

Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car
door and pushes the New Yorker out.
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Old 10-27-2011, 11:35 PM   #2802
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brewer12345 View Post
Four guys are driving across country together: one from
Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, and one from New
York.

A short way down the road, the man from Idaho starts to pull
potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window.

The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, "What the heck are
you doing?"

The man from Idaho says, "We have so many of these things in
Idaho they're lying around on the ground. I'm sick of
looking at them!"

A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins
pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the
window.

The man from Florida asks, "What are you doing that for?"

The Nebraskan replies, "We have so many of these things in
Nebraska, I'm sick of looking at them!"

Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car
door and pushes the New Yorker out.
Yup!
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Old 10-28-2011, 07:29 PM   #2803
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The IRS sent my Tax Return back! AGAIN!!!

I guess it was because of my response to the question : "List all dependents?"
I replied -

"12 million illegal immigrants;
"3 million crack heads;
"42 million unemployable people on food stamps,
"2 million people in over 243 prisons;
"Half of Mexico ; and
"535 fools in the U.S. House and Senate.”

Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
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Anyone get one of these at McDonalds?
Old 10-29-2011, 04:15 PM   #2804
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Anyone get one of these at McDonalds?

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Old 10-29-2011, 08:35 PM   #2805
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Great jokes! Keep 'em coming.
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Old 10-31-2011, 01:08 AM   #2806
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harley View Post
Ten years ago, Steve Jobs was alive, Bob Hope was alive and Johnny Cash was alive.
Now we’re outta jobs, outta hope and outta cash.
I've read that people are very concerned about Kevin Bacon staying healthy...
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Bank of America customer letter
Old 11-02-2011, 03:47 PM   #2807
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Bank of America customer letter

A Letter from Bank of America « Borowitz Report
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Possibly the best cartoon ever
Old 11-02-2011, 09:34 PM   #2808
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Possibly the best cartoon ever

Possibly the best cartoon ever
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File Type: jpg men.jpg (126.4 KB, 127 views)
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Old 11-02-2011, 09:43 PM   #2809
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Phone rings in the middle of the night. The husband picks up the receiver and after a brief pause responds in a gruff tone: "Hell how would I know thats two thousand miles away" and then abruptly slams down the receiver.

The wife asks: "Who was that?"

The husband replies in a sleepy tone: " I dunno. Somebody asking if the coast was clear."
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:09 PM   #2810
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On a bitterly cold winter's morning, a husband and wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through. So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to14 inches of snow today. You must park...." and the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?"
Then with the love and understanding in his voice the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave the car in the garage this time."
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Old 11-10-2011, 06:52 AM   #2811
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Thought this was creative
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Old 11-10-2011, 12:03 PM   #2812
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The Tug Toner -

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Old 11-12-2011, 02:33 PM   #2813
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An Irishman's explanation of the financial crisis, both Ireland and the US. Those easily offended by vulgarities should probably not listen.

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Old 11-12-2011, 05:26 PM   #2814
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keim View Post
True story:

I live in Idaho, and I can't find a single place in town to buy Idaho potatoes. Our local Rotary clubs big fundraiser is selling Idaho potatoes-cuz we can't get'em in the north end of the state.

They are all sent out of state!

Same with Washington. The apples all seem to go elsewhere.
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Old 11-13-2011, 01:56 PM   #2815
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From the Onion (it's satire) Chef Ted Allen Cooks his Favorite Pretentious Foodie BS meal here
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Old 11-13-2011, 02:19 PM   #2816
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Quote:
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From the Onion (it's satire) Chef Ted Allen Cooks his Favorite Pretentious Foodie BS meal here
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Old 11-13-2011, 02:24 PM   #2817
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From the Onion (it's satire) Chef Ted Allen Cooks his Favorite Pretentious Foodie BS meal here
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Old 11-13-2011, 03:02 PM   #2818
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Quote:
Originally Posted by powerplay
I thought this was hilarious, and forwarded it to a friend who apparently doesn't share our sense of humor. He thought it was "weird." I hate it when that happens.
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Old 11-13-2011, 04:23 PM   #2819
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I thought this was hilarious, and forwarded it to a friend who apparently doesn't share our sense of humor. He thought it was "weird." I hate it when that happens.
Never mind Al, at least on this site we appreciate "weird". Maybe being weird should be a requirement of membership.
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Old 11-13-2011, 04:44 PM   #2820
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Never mind Al, at least on this site we appreciate "weird". Maybe being weird should be a requirement of membership.
Hey, I resemble that remark!
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