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Old 09-02-2014, 07:25 PM   #3461
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This says it all
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Old 09-02-2014, 08:23 PM   #3462
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Kevink….IMHO inappropriate for this forum!
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Old 09-02-2014, 11:13 PM   #3463
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Kevink….IMHO it wasn't inappropriate for this forum!
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Old 09-03-2014, 06:43 AM   #3464
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Kevink….IMHO it wasn't inappropriate for this forum!
Agreed, pretty darn funny and none of my friends from Oz were offended.
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Old 09-03-2014, 07:49 AM   #3465
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Agreed, pretty darn funny and none of my friends from Oz were offended.
Even the kangaroos?!
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Old 09-03-2014, 07:54 AM   #3466
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Reminds me of a joke I heard while working up in Northern Australia 50+ years ago:

Fellow starts working in a mining camp......usual backdrop, no women......one morning all the guys are rushing out of their tents yelling "The sheep are here"......he questions the activity and is told that..in the absence of women, etc...

Don't think that's for me, he says....but why is everyone rushing when there are thousands of sheep?

Incredulous look....."You don't want to get an ugly one, do you?"
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Old 09-03-2014, 09:12 AM   #3467
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Kevink….IMHO it wasn't inappropriate for this forum!
Anyone have any kangaroo catching tips?
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Old 09-03-2014, 09:31 AM   #3468
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Not kangaroo, but I know sheep.

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Old 09-03-2014, 10:49 AM   #3469
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Kevink….IMHO inappropriate for this forum!
So, it wasn't just me. That was my immediate thought after reading the joke.
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Old 09-03-2014, 10:56 AM   #3470
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Agreed, pretty darn funny and none of my friends from Oz were offended.
-1. I thought it was unoriginal and pretty juvenile. I'd give it a 2 out of 10 points, 10 being the best. That's my joke of the day.
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Old 09-03-2014, 03:03 PM   #3471
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-1. I thought it was unoriginal and pretty juvenile. I'd give it a 2 out of 10 points, 10 being the best. That's my joke of the day.
Evidently you don't know many Aussies, who by the way have a wonderful sense of humor.
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Old 09-03-2014, 03:20 PM   #3472
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Originally Posted by Nemo2 View Post
Reminds me of a joke I heard while working up in Northern Australia 50+ years ago:

Fellow starts working in a mining camp......usual backdrop, no women......one morning all the guys are rushing out of their tents yelling "The sheep are here"......he questions the activity and is told that..in the absence of women, etc...

Don't think that's for me, he says....but why is everyone rushing when there are thousands of sheep?

Incredulous look....."You don't want to get an ugly one, do you?"

Well I'm juvenile and I like the old mining camp jokes. My favorite one was about barrel with a hole in it..... Yes it's juvenile but what would expect from a person who lists Ted, Back to School, Hot Tub Time Machine, and Porkys as the classics!


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Old 09-03-2014, 03:29 PM   #3473
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Well I'm juvenile and I like the old mining camp jokes. My favorite one was about barrel with a hole in it.
At the same time I was told the one about "You can always use the cook"......and when the newbie questions the price, he's told "Well, you've got to pay four guys to hold him down....he doesn't like it".
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Old 09-03-2014, 04:58 PM   #3474
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So many similar old jokes.

My favorite was always the guy out in the desert. His question upon arrival was answered with "Well, we just use the camels."

Many months pass, and finally he gets desperate enough, and is severely injured by an uncooperative camel.

When he comes to, he asks how the other guys manage with such ornery "companions."

The answer is "We use the camels to ride into town."
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Old 09-03-2014, 05:26 PM   #3475
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So many similar old jokes.



My favorite was always the guy out in the desert. His question upon arrival was answered with "Well, we just use the camels."



Many months pass, and finally he gets desperate enough, and is severely injured by an uncooperative camel.



When he comes to, he asks how the other guys manage with such ornery "companions."



The answer is "We use the camels to ride into town."

Ok Braumeister and Nemo if you can do it (and they were funny, btw) so can I... In short summary....Old miner tells the new miner since there are no women in camp he can use the barrel with the hole in it behind the tents the first 6 days of each week. New miner comes back after the 6th day and says that barrel is pretty good and asks the old miner why he can't use the barrel tomorrow. "Well because on the 7th day it's your turn to be in the barrel."


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Old 09-03-2014, 08:01 PM   #3476
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Wise Italian Grandfather
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!' "?
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Old 09-03-2014, 10:17 PM   #3477
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-1. I thought it was unoriginal and pretty juvenile. I'd give it a 2 out of 10 points, 10 being the best. That's my joke of the day.
The day I let someone else tell me what I am supposed to think is funny is the day that I no longer deserve to laugh!
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Old 09-04-2014, 04:31 AM   #3478
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Two Mafia bosses playing golf.........just as one of them is about to make an important putt a funeral procession passes on the road below the hill they're on.

First Mafia boss snaps to attention, removes his hat, and holds it over his chest.

Second boss says "Hey, wassup, we a playing golf or what?"

First boss replies "Show some respect, it's a sad day when a beautiful, talented, sexy 19 year old girl is buried".

Second boss..."Dis a girl, what'd she die of?"

First boss......"STD"

Second boss "C'mon, itsa 2014, they gotta medical miracles, nobody no more don't die of no STD".

First boss...."When theya give it to me they do".
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Old 09-04-2014, 09:05 AM   #3479
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Well, since this thread has degenerated from wholesome jokes about Aussies and their kangaroos to slurs against Italians I guess it's time for a Catholic church joke:

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.
He says, 'Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months
to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.


The first nun says, 'I want to be Sophia Loren and *poof* she's gone.

The second says, 'I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.


The third says, 'I want to be Sara Pipalini..'

St. Peter looks perplexed. 'Who?' he asked

'Sara Pipalini,' replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, 'I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell.'

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.

St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.

'No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by
1,400 men in 6 months.
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Old 09-04-2014, 09:29 AM   #3480
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Really...

…I think that some days our dogs merely tolerate us mortals. She was not amused!
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