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09-02-2014, 06:25 PM
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#3461
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 561
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This says it all
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09-02-2014, 07:23 PM
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#3462
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 549
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Kevink….IMHO inappropriate for this forum!
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09-02-2014, 10:13 PM
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#3463
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Cocoa Beach
Posts: 414
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Kevink….IMHO it wasn't inappropriate for this forum!
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09-03-2014, 05:43 AM
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#3464
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Chattanooga
Posts: 3,895
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucantes
Kevink….IMHO it wasn't inappropriate for this forum!
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Agreed, pretty darn funny and none of my friends from Oz were offended.
__________________
Earning money is an action, saving money is a behavior, growing money takes a well diversified portfolio and the discipline to ignore market swings.
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09-03-2014, 06:49 AM
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#3465
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Cocoa Beach
Posts: 414
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frayne
Agreed, pretty darn funny and none of my friends from Oz were offended.
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Even the kangaroos?!
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09-03-2014, 06:54 AM
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#3466
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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Reminds me of a joke I heard while working up in Northern Australia 50+ years ago:
Fellow starts working in a mining camp......usual backdrop, no women......one morning all the guys are rushing out of their tents yelling "The sheep are here"......he questions the activity and is told that..in the absence of women, etc...
Don't think that's for me, he says....but why is everyone rushing when there are thousands of sheep?
Incredulous look....."You don't want to get an ugly one, do you?"
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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09-03-2014, 08:12 AM
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#3467
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 14,328
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucantes
Kevink….IMHO it wasn't inappropriate for this forum!
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Anyone have any kangaroo catching tips?
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09-03-2014, 08:31 AM
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#3468
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 11,078
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Not kangaroo, but I know sheep.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Early Retirement Forum mobile app
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09-03-2014, 09:49 AM
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#3469
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 2,745
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VaCollector
Kevink….IMHO inappropriate for this forum!
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So, it wasn't just me. That was my immediate thought after reading the joke.
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09-03-2014, 09:56 AM
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#3470
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 2,745
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frayne
Agreed, pretty darn funny and none of my friends from Oz were offended.
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-1. I thought it was unoriginal and pretty juvenile. I'd give it a 2 out of 10 points, 10 being the best. That's my joke of the day.
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09-03-2014, 02:03 PM
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#3471
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Chattanooga
Posts: 3,895
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Evidently you don't know many Aussies, who by the way have a wonderful sense of humor.
__________________
Earning money is an action, saving money is a behavior, growing money takes a well diversified portfolio and the discipline to ignore market swings.
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09-03-2014, 02:20 PM
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#3472
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 9,343
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nemo2
Reminds me of a joke I heard while working up in Northern Australia 50+ years ago:
Fellow starts working in a mining camp......usual backdrop, no women......one morning all the guys are rushing out of their tents yelling "The sheep are here"......he questions the activity and is told that..in the absence of women, etc...
Don't think that's for me, he says....but why is everyone rushing when there are thousands of sheep?
Incredulous look....."You don't want to get an ugly one, do you?"
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Well I'm juvenile and I like the old mining camp jokes. My favorite one was about barrel with a hole in it..... Yes it's juvenile but what would expect from a person who lists Ted, Back to School, Hot Tub Time Machine, and Porkys as the classics!
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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09-03-2014, 02:29 PM
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#3473
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mulligan
Well I'm juvenile and I like the old mining camp jokes. My favorite one was about barrel with a hole in it.
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At the same time I was told the one about "You can always use the cook"......and when the newbie questions the price, he's told "Well, you've got to pay four guys to hold him down....he doesn't like it".
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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09-03-2014, 03:58 PM
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#3474
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 25,362
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So many similar old jokes.
My favorite was always the guy out in the desert. His question upon arrival was answered with "Well, we just use the camels."
Many months pass, and finally he gets desperate enough, and is severely injured by an uncooperative camel.
When he comes to, he asks how the other guys manage with such ornery "companions."
The answer is "We use the camels to ride into town."
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09-03-2014, 04:26 PM
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#3475
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 9,343
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Quote:
Originally Posted by braumeister
So many similar old jokes.
My favorite was always the guy out in the desert. His question upon arrival was answered with "Well, we just use the camels."
Many months pass, and finally he gets desperate enough, and is severely injured by an uncooperative camel.
When he comes to, he asks how the other guys manage with such ornery "companions."
The answer is "We use the camels to ride into town."
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Ok Braumeister and Nemo if you can do it (and they were funny, btw) so can I... In short summary....Old miner tells the new miner since there are no women in camp he can use the barrel with the hole in it behind the tents the first 6 days of each week. New miner comes back after the 6th day and says that barrel is pretty good and asks the old miner why he can't use the barrel tomorrow. "Well because on the 7th day it's your turn to be in the barrel."
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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09-03-2014, 07:01 PM
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#3476
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Peru
Posts: 6,335
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Wise Italian Grandfather
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!' "?
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09-03-2014, 09:17 PM
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#3477
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Cocoa Beach
Posts: 414
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The day I let someone else tell me what I am supposed to think is funny is the day that I no longer deserve to laugh!
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09-04-2014, 03:31 AM
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#3478
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,368
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Two Mafia bosses playing golf.........just as one of them is about to make an important putt a funeral procession passes on the road below the hill they're on.
First Mafia boss snaps to attention, removes his hat, and holds it over his chest.
Second boss says "Hey, wassup, we a playing golf or what?"
First boss replies "Show some respect, it's a sad day when a beautiful, talented, sexy 19 year old girl is buried".
Second boss..."Dis a girl, what'd she die of?"
First boss......"STD"
Second boss "C'mon, itsa 2014, they gotta medical miracles, nobody no more don't die of no STD".
First boss...."When theya give it to me they do".
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."
The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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09-04-2014, 08:05 AM
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#3479
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 807
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Well, since this thread has degenerated from wholesome jokes about Aussies and their kangaroos to slurs against Italians I guess it's time for a Catholic church joke:
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.
He says, 'Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months
to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.
The first nun says, 'I want to be Sophia Loren and *poof* she's gone.
The second says, 'I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, 'I want to be Sara Pipalini..'
St. Peter looks perplexed. 'Who?' he asked
'Sara Pipalini,' replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, 'I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell.'
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.
'No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by
1,400 men in 6 months.
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09-04-2014, 08:29 AM
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#3480
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 319
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Really...
…I think that some days our dogs merely tolerate us mortals. She was not amused!
__________________
Just Trekking thru!
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