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Ghetto or Suburbs?
Old 10-30-2014, 02:28 PM   #3521
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Ghetto or Suburbs?

Ghetto Test (I'm more ghetto than I thought)


If the statement is true add the points in parenthesis to your score.

Scoring is given at the bottom of the test.


1. You've ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5 points)

2. You've ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception. (8 points)

3. You've ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on. (7points)

4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on. (6 points)

5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)

6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on a daily basis. (3 points)

7. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)

8. If you've ever been beaten with an extension cord. (15 points)

9. If you have ever had to walk to or home from school. (2 points)

10. If you've ever passed someone a note asking "Do you like me?" or "Can I have a chance?" check _yes, _no or _maybe. (7 points)

11. If you have ever used dish washing liquid for bubble bath. (9points)

12. If you have ever mixed up some Kool-Aid and the found that you didn't have any sugar. (4 points & add 4 if you put the pitcher in the refrigerator until you got some sugar)

13. If you have ever played any of the following games. (2 points each): (hide and go seek, freeze tag, captain or momma may I?, or red light..yellow light..green light 123!)

14. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a bell + 5 if he played R&B)

15. If you remember any of the following candies. (1 point each): cherry clans, lemon heads, Alexander the grape, ring pops, Chico sticks, baked beans, candy cigarettes, powder packs with the white dip stick, big league chew, "Wine" Candy (jolly ranchers), jaw breakers, and candy necklaces.

16. If you refer to Now and Laters candies as "Nighladers". (6 points)

17. If you've ever ran from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you got away)

18. If you remember underoos or the Wonder Woman bra and panty set. (6 points + 4 if you owned some)

19. If you've ever had reusable grease in a container on your stove. (5 points)

20. The batteries in your remote control are held in by a piece of tape. (5 points)

21. If you've ever used any of the following for drinking glasses. (3 points each): jelly jars, mayonnaise jars, mason jars, or peanut butter jars.

22. You've ever covered your furniture in plastic. (2 points)

23. The heels of your feet have ever looked like you had been kicking flour. (1point)

24. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances. (1 point each): Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge'.

25. You've ever used Tussy. (9 points)

26. You've never been to the dentist. (10 points + 10 if you've never been to the doctor.)

27. You've ever wore clothes with the tag still on them. (4 points)

28. If you're acquainted with someone with a name as follows. (3 points): Kay-Kay, Lee-Lee, Ree-Ree, Ray-Ray, etc.

29. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)

30. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)

31. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc). (3 points)

32. You pronounce words like this (1 point for each example you can think of skrimps or strimps, skreet, axe (ask), member (remember), frigerator, etc.

33. You use nem' to describe a certain group of people (for example Craig and nem' or momma and nem'). (6 points)

34. You've ever had a crack across your windshield and never bothered to get it fixed. (3 points)

35. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (4 points)

36. You've ever asked a perfect stranger to take a picture with you and told your friends it was someone you dated. (3 points)

37. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it. (7 points)

38. If you've ever ran a race barefoot in the middle of the street at approximately 11 at night. (10 points)

39. You've ever left a social gathering with a plate. (1 point)

40. You leave a restaurant with silverware, sugar, and/or jelly. (8 points)

41. You think "red" is a flavor of Kool-Aid. (4 points)

42. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (3 points)

43. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (8 points)

44. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan's. (5 points)

45. If you've ever had to get to the driver's side of the car through the passenger side door. (8 points)

46. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (7 points)

47. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10 points)

48. You won't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number on the caller id box. (7 points)

49. You know a child who can't speak, but can do the "bank-head bounce." (15 points)

50. You think Tupac is still alive. (20 points)

Scoring

0 - 30 - You have enjoyed a nice sheltered life in the suburbs.

31 - 60 - Hood movies have given you a little exposure.

61 - 100 - You may have visited the hood a few times or on weekends.

101 - 130 - You probably spent a few years in the hood, and moved to the suburbs.

131 - 160 - You're the genuine article. You are no stranger to hood life.

161 - 200 - You are definitely, without a doubt an expert on life in the hood.

201+ - Congratulations! You are Ghetto Fabulous!


==================================
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Old 10-30-2014, 02:42 PM   #3522
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Got around 45 points.

Does not knowing what a school bus is thus never having ridden one count extra? I found aout about school buses when I arrived in the US at 17.
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Old 11-02-2014, 10:25 AM   #3523
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This one has me at a complete loss for words.
Attached Images
File Type: png smokingwater.png (210.6 KB, 447 views)
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Old 11-05-2014, 08:03 AM   #3524
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You really may not want to see these pictures...

14 Pictures That Will Enrage Every Control Freak. You DON'T want to see these. - Encurious
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Old 11-05-2014, 08:14 AM   #3525
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Originally Posted by mickeyd View Post
Rules For Entering Texas

Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston once said, "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas.
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:03 AM   #3526
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I like them!

Many years ago at a place I w*rked there were two signs in the hallway.

Two arrows for restrooms pointing to the left each labeled men, women.
I added a a third arrow pointing to the right and labeld it Others.

Did the artwork just before open house for visitors. The signs were undisturbed at the end of the day. Did notice lots of giggles by visitors.
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Old 11-05-2014, 08:59 PM   #3527
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A blonde is working as a house painter. She arrives at a clients house and he asks her to paint his porch. Half an hour later, she knocks on the door to tell him she's done.

"Already??", he asks, shocked.

"Yup, and there was some leftover paint so I did a second coat."

Impressed, he pays her. As she's leaving she turns back and says "By the way, it's not a porch, it's a Lexus."
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Old 11-06-2014, 06:21 AM   #3528
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Here ya go. This is right outside my living room window.

image.jpg

As you can imagine, I'm confused every morning about where to go after looking out the window.
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Confidence
Old 11-06-2014, 09:06 AM   #3529
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Confidence

A Navy fighter pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat
next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his
watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks,
“Is your date running late?”

No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch,
and I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch?
What’s so special about it?”

The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I
am wearing panties!”

The fighter pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Darn thing’s an
hour fast.”

And that, my friends ... is "Confidence"!
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Old 11-06-2014, 09:19 AM   #3530
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Am I the only woman around here who us offended by these panty-removing and dumb blonde jokes?

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Old 11-06-2014, 10:16 AM   #3531
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I wouldn't think so.
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Old 11-06-2014, 10:25 AM   #3532
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Am I the only woman around here who us offended by these panty-removing and dumb blonde jokes?

I'm not blonde, lol. But if there was ever a spot that kinda leaves itself open for sophomoric humor, it is this tired old funny joke thread. Those jokes just sound dated to me, like seeing an old floppy disk in an 80s movie.
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Old 11-06-2014, 10:45 AM   #3533
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I'm not blonde, lol. But if there was ever a spot that kinda leaves itself open for sophomoric humor, it is this tired old funny joke thread. Those jokes just sound dated to me, like seeing an old floppy disk in an 80s movie.

Sarah, I really would have expected a bit more gender sensitivity from you. Use of the word "floppy", particularly in conjunction with the word "old" is just hurtful.

calmloki; very very blonde, but I never wear panties.
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Old 11-06-2014, 10:48 AM   #3534
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calmloki; very very blonde, but I never wear panties.
TMI...and another example of why the public should avoid buying a used couch.
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Old 11-06-2014, 10:54 AM   #3535
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Am I the only woman around here who us offended by these panty-removing and dumb blonde jokes?

I must admit that I don't always read this thread because most of the jokes seem a little juvenile to me. More than offending me, that type of joke just plain bores me.

Guys, even though our forum is predominantly male, you might consider that you are in mixed company here and that even if your jokes don't seem offensive to you or your buddies, you might offend certain women such as Meadbh. If you want to encourage the "fairer sex" to stick around, one way would be to not offend them.

Also, if a reported joke post seems offensive or insulting to the majority of our (male and female) moderator team, to the point of violating our Community Rules, we might have to take action even on the jokes thread.
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Old 11-06-2014, 11:03 AM   #3536
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OK, let's turn this one around:

A blond Adonis is working as a house painter. He arrives at a clients house and she asks him to paint her porch pink. Half an hour later, he knocks on the door to tell her he's done.

"Already??", she asks, shocked.

"Yup, and there was some leftover paint so I did a second coat."

"Show me", she says.

"He says "By the way, it's not a porch, it's a Lexus."

"Yeah, my Mafiosi husband will really appreciate that!"
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Old 11-06-2014, 11:25 AM   #3537
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My issue with the porch/lexus/paint joke is that it really isn't funny.

Like W2R, I tend not to come over to this thread much... not my cup of double espresso.
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Old 11-06-2014, 11:27 AM   #3538
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I just heard Bill Murray tell that joke as a throwaway in Saint Vincent! It didn't include blond, or Adonis, or Mafiosi, though.

I forward a few jokes from this thread but usually any joke with the word "panties" in it gets skipped right over, not even read. Really, who says "panties" in real life?
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Old 11-06-2014, 11:33 AM   #3539
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So now we are going to kill one of the oldest threads on the forum because of politically correct sensibilities?
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Old 11-06-2014, 11:40 AM   #3540
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I just remember a blonde guy joke, which I thought was good. Too lazy to type it, I searched the Web to link it in. Did not find that, but saw a bunch of others. With apology to calmloki (who wears no panties ), here's one.

An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the blonde man replies: “If they fell forward, they ‘d still be in the boat.”



Read More: Best Blond Men Jokes | Best Blond Men Jokes
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