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Old 03-12-2015, 07:20 PM   #3641
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....... because they had never been there before.
Its funny joke Thursday!

Its funny joke Thursday!
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Old 03-12-2015, 07:41 PM   #3642
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Okay, but we've only eaten there twice before!
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Old 03-12-2015, 07:43 PM   #3643
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A guy texts his neighbor:

Bob, I'm sorry.

I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:
I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around,

probably more than you.

I know it’s no excuse, but I don't get it at home.

I can't live with the guilt any longer. I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology. It won't happen again.

The man, feeling outraged and betrayed, grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom and without a word shoots his wife.

Moments later the guy gets a second text:
Damn, I really should use spell check!

That should be "wifi"... Sorry!


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Old 03-12-2015, 07:55 PM   #3644
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Totally different jokes. Captain Jack's Seafood Grille and the Ocean View restaurant.

Anyway, I bet if anyone (not me) were to go through this entire thread, three repeats of the same joke wouldn't be the record.
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Old 03-12-2015, 08:02 PM   #3645
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At least it's three different restaurants.
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Old 03-12-2015, 09:34 PM   #3646
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From reddit:

If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared, what would be the most difficult thing to explain about life today?

One answer: “I possess a device in my pocket that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man. I use it to look 
at pictures of cats and get into arguments with strangers.”
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Old 03-12-2015, 09:58 PM   #3647
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Originally Posted by harley View Post
Totally different jokes. Captain Jack's Seafood Grille and the Ocean View restaurant.

Anyway, I bet if anyone (not me) were to go through this entire thread, three repeats of the same joke wouldn't be the record.
Right. Now if the other two posts were by harley, now then we could rib him about it (but he'd probably soon forget).

-ERD50
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Old 03-13-2015, 08:36 AM   #3648
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Originally Posted by calmloki View Post
A guy texts his neighbor:

Bob, I'm sorry.

I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:
.........................
That should be "wifi"... Sorry!
Its funny joke Thursday!

OK, I promise to quit now.........
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Old 03-13-2015, 08:55 AM   #3649
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tlover, don't you know there aren't any new jokes? The same ones just get recycled!
Fortunately for us, as we get older, we forget them and they seem like new again!
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Old 03-13-2015, 09:00 AM   #3650
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tlover, don't you know there aren't any new jokes? The same ones just get recycled!
Fortunately for us, as we get older, we forget them and they seem like new again!
A corollary to that is that as our bodies age, our eyesight also gets worse...
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Old 03-13-2015, 09:04 AM   #3651
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A jokester walks into a bar....
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Old 03-13-2015, 09:10 AM   #3652
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A dad buys a robot that slaps you when you lie and decides to try it out on his son. The dad says, "What did you do this afternoon?"
The son goes, "Just some homework" and the robot slaps him. "Okay, okay. I was watching porn."
The dad says, "What? I didn't even know what porn was at your age" and gets a slap.
The man's wife sighs and says, "He's definitely your son." The robot slaps her.
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Old 03-13-2015, 10:08 AM   #3653
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I don't think I am." POOF! The horse disappears.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
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Old 03-13-2015, 10:25 AM   #3654
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
tlover, don't you know there aren't any new jokes? The same ones just get recycled!
Fortunately for us, as we get older, we forget them and they seem like new again!
Ditto can be said for the movies.

It may take 72 minutes into a movie before DW & I realize we have watched the movie before.
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Old 03-13-2015, 10:35 AM   #3655
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Quote:
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I don't think I am." POOF! The horse disappears.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
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Old 03-13-2015, 11:23 AM   #3656
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Just now, clicking on the links did not bring me to the individual posts that are supposedly referred. Yesterday, it did. What's going on?

Anyway, it shows travelover still has good memory, perhaps rivaling mine.

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Old 03-13-2015, 11:32 AM   #3657
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Reading the post below reminds me of a story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
tlover, don't you know there aren't any new jokes? The same ones just get recycled!
Fortunately for us, as we get older, we forget them and they seem like new again!
A man walked into a bar for a drink. He saw a large group congregating at a corner of the bar, seemingly having a good time. One individual cried out a number like "25", and the rest bursted out laughing. When they recovered, another would call out another number, and they laughed again.

Our man called the bar tender and asked what was going on. The bar tender explained.
"This is a joke club, and they meet every week to tell each other jokes. They have a set of favorite jokes, and keep retelling them. Soon, they started numbering them, so that they can recall the jokes by their number to make it short."

Our man said,
"Cool! But just now, I saw a guy laughing harder, and in fact did not stop for a long time after others had."

The bartender said,
"He was probably out the week when that joke was originally told. So, it's still new to him."
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Old 03-13-2015, 11:41 AM   #3658
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tlover, don't you know there aren't any new jokes? The same ones just get recycled!
Fortunately for us, as we get older, we forget them and they seem like new again!
Yea, I think that was the punchline in the guys-getting-together-yearly-at-a-restaurant joke.
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Old 03-13-2015, 01:46 PM   #3659
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Old 03-13-2015, 02:17 PM   #3660
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There are no old jokes, to a newborn every joke is new.
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