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Old 03-14-2018, 02:24 PM   #4361
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Anyone know what this is?
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Old 03-14-2018, 02:27 PM   #4362
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Pi symbol on steroids?
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Old 03-14-2018, 02:55 PM   #4363
Recycles dryer sheets
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Seven legged elephant?
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Old 03-14-2018, 02:56 PM   #4364
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IBWino View Post
Seven legged elephant?
No, but you are getting warm!
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Old 03-14-2018, 03:20 PM   #4365
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I'd tell you the answer, but you can see it yourself at Google Image Search https://www.google.com/search?tbs=sb...ZjEIJLbx&hl=en

(assuming I can get the link to work...)
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Old 03-14-2018, 03:30 PM   #4366
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For those who can't get the link to work, here's the answer: Octopi
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Old 03-14-2018, 03:39 PM   #4367
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<groan>
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Old 03-14-2018, 04:08 PM   #4368
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Give me a forum ...
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Quote:
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For those who can't get the link to work, here's the answer: Octopi
Aw...and here I thought it was a centipede after rhinoplasty.
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Old 03-14-2018, 04:18 PM   #4369
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Aw...and here I thought it was a centipede after rhinoplasty.
Nah. Nose jobs bug me.
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Old 03-16-2018, 11:16 AM   #4370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
For those who can't get the link to work, here's the answer: Octopi
Glad you told me, because I never would have gotten that.
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Old 03-16-2018, 02:04 PM   #4371
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Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
For those who can't get the link to work, here's the answer: Octopi
Does that mean I get eight slices of pie on Pi day?
Whoopeeeeeeee!!!
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Old 03-16-2018, 02:34 PM   #4372
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Exercise For Seniors

Just came across this exercise suggested for seniors to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems easy, so we're passing it on. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5 lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, then hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10 lb. potato sacks. Then 50 lb. potato sacks and, eventually, try to get to where you can lift a 100 lb. potato sack in each and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks; but be careful ...
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Old 03-16-2018, 02:39 PM   #4373
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I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.

"Come on, what day was I born"?

I said, “Yesterday."
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Secrets to Inner Peace
Old 03-19-2018, 10:08 AM   #4374
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Secrets to Inner Peace

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment ,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without alcohol,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,




Then You Are Probably

The Family Dog!
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Old 03-19-2018, 11:09 AM   #4375
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Rewahoos octo Pi is actually eye lash for car headlights.
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Old 03-24-2018, 09:32 AM   #4376
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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A widowed friend in her 70's drives an older model car and only trusts the dealership for maintenance. She took it in for service this week and when it was ready, the dealership called and left her a voice mail. Her cell phone text-to-speech software translated her message as follows:

"Hello, this is Howard at Friendly Ford. Wanted to call to let you know your grandma keys is ready for pick up. We are open until 7 tonight."

Listening to the voice mail revealed "grandma keys" was actually "Grand Marquis".
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Old 03-24-2018, 09:49 AM   #4377
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I guess Google interprets speech based on what searches are common. True story: prior to Thanksgiving, I said, "Okay, Google. Show me turkey tips."

It showed me pictures of "Perky T?ts."
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Old 03-30-2018, 11:52 AM   #4378
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
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Old 04-01-2018, 09:15 AM   #4379
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Happy Easter!
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Old 04-02-2018, 05:54 PM   #4380
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The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'.
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 am, a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

(Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos total 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in?

I told him 'MIDNIGHT'..... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock!'

When I asked him why, he said,

'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh crap' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
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