Its funny joke Thursday!

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Unless i'm mistaken, his name was Bob?

[cj]

Originally Posted by Cute Fuzzy Bunny

Unless i'm mistaken, his name was Bob?

Yeah, that was one of a series of politically incorrect jokes:

Q: What do you call a guy in the water with no arms or legs?
A: Bob

Q: What do you call a guy on the front porch with no arms or legs?
A: Matt

Q: What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
A: Eileen

Q: What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg shorter than the other?
A: Irene

I forget the rest.* All very tasteless.* But that's not usually a problem here.* *

Sorry!
CJ

[Cool Dood]

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging from the wall?
A: Art

[cute fuzzy bunny]

You forgot:

The woman with a wooden leg
Peg


Guy with no arms and legs propping up a car
Jack

Guy with no arms and no legs in a hole in the ground
Phil


Two guys with no arms and legs hanging on the wall on either side of a window?

Curt 'n Rod

Ok, thats enough...

[cj]

Yes!* Those are the other ones!* It's been a long time.* I think we told those jokes as teenagers.* I'm 51.* *:P

Then there's this one:

Kid:* Mrs. Smith, can Joey come out and play?
Mrs. Smith: Now, you know Joey has no arms or legs.
Kid:* That's OK, we want to use him for first base.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

45 year old teenager here.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

[poboy]

http://www.callcentermovie.com/

Call Center video.

[Nords]

Originally Posted by poboy

Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The Same After That Damned Gay Cowboy Movie

Now that's a short attention span:
http://early-retirement.org/forums/i...4231#msg134231

[Caroline]

guy with no arms or legs in a hot tub?


Stew

[mathjak107]

what do you call the guy who fell in the meat grinder

chuck!

[dory36]

Dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter -- he can't come to you anyway.

[Eagle43]

California -156 years ago!
Do you know what happened in California this week back in 1850 ?

California became a state.
The State had no electricity.
The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gun fights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California today except the
women had real breasts and men didn't hold hands.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Guy with no arms and no legs in a mailbox?

Bill.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Originally Posted by dory36

Dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter -- he can't come to you anyway.

Dog with no legs thrown in the water?

Bob Barker.

[SteveR]

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?" The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?" "Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness." ”No problem," said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course," said the president "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!"

[Outtahere]

This is an old one but still funny.

Why I fired my Secretary


Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that
morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!" and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought.. Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.

So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! "

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."

I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quite bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do We ?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind ?"

She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, " Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."


"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".





And I just sat there...











On the couch...










Naked.

[LovesLife]

Here's a video version of CFB's joke,

http://www.foxsearchlight.com/lab/sh...thdaysuit.html

[brewer12345]

Along the same lines of outtahere's joke:

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned.

I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.

I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

The moral of this story is:

"Always keep your condoms in your car."


- Stolen shamelessly from elsewhere.

[Outtahere]

LOL!! Brewer I have that one in my joke archives, it's one of my favorites.