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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-10-2007, 08:55 AM   #921
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-11-2007, 03:50 PM   #922
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

SEVENTY-TWO VIRGINS
by STEVE MARTIN
Issue of 2007-01-29
Posted 2007-01-22

Virgin No. 1: Yuck.
Virgin No. 2: Ick.
Virgin No. 3: Ew.
Virgin No. 4: Ow.
Virgin No. 5: Do you like cats? I have fourteen!
Virgin No. 6: I’m Becky. I’ll be legal in two years.
Virgin No. 7: Here, I’ll just pull down your zipper. Oh, sorry!
Virgin No. 8: Can we cuddle first?
Virgin No. 9: It was a garlic-and-onion pizza. Why?
Virgin No. 10: . . . so I see Heath, and he goes, “Like, what are you doing here?,” and I go, “I’m hangin’ out,” so he goes, “Like, what?” . . .
Virgin No. 11: First you’re going to have to show me an up-to-date health certificate.
Virgin No. 12: Hurry! My parents are due home!
Virgin No. 13: Do you want the regular or the special?
Virgin No. 14: I’m eighty-four. So what?
Virgin No. 15: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Virgin No. 16: Even I know that’s tiny.
Virgin No. 17: “Do it”? Meaning what?
Virgin No. 18: I’m saving myself for Jesus.
Virgin No. 19: Somewhere on my body I have hidden a buffalo nickel.
Virgin No. 20: Don’t touch my hair!
Virgin No. 21: I hope you’re not going to sleep with me and then go sleep with seventy-one others.
Virgin No. 22: Do you mind if we listen to Mannheim Steamroller?
Virgin No. 23: Are you O.K. with the dog on the bed?
Virgin No. 24: Would you mind saying, “Could I see you in my office, Miss Witherspoon?”?
Virgin No. 25: Ride me! Ride me, Lucky Buck!
Virgin No. 26: You like your vanilla hot?
Virgin No. 27: Does Ookums like Snookums?
Virgin No. 28: It’s so romantic here, dead.
Virgin No. 29: Well, I’m a virgin, but my hand isn’t.
Virgin No. 30: You are in?
Virgin No. 31: Hi, cowboy. I just rode down from Brokeback Mountain.
Virgin No. 32: I’m a virgin because I’m so ugly.
Virgin No. 33: You like-ee?
Virgin No. 34: I’ll betcha you can’t get an erection. Go on, impress me. C’mon, show me. Show me, big shot.
Virgin No. 35: By the way, here in Heaven “virgin” has a slightly different meaning. It means “chatty.”
Virgin No. 36: Sure, I like you, but as a friend.
Virgin No. 37: No kissing. I save that for my boyfriend.
Virgin No. 38: I’m Zania, from the planet Xeron. My vagina is on my foot.
Virgin No. 39: It’s a lesion, and, no, I don’t know what kind.
Virgin No. 40: I’m Jewish. Why do you ask?
Virgin No. 41: Hi, I’m Becky. Oh, whoops—you again.
Virgin No. 42: I just love camping! Camping is so great! Can we go camping sometime?
Virgin No. 43: In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m a single mom.
Virgin No. 44: You like my breasts? They were my graduation gift.
Virgin No. 45: When you’re done, you should really check out how cool this ceiling is.
Virgin No. 46: I’m almost there. Just another couple of hours.
Virgin No. 47: Get your own beer, you nitwit.
Virgin No. 48: No, you’ve got it wrong. We’re in the Paradise Casino.
Virgin No. 49: I really enjoyed that. Thank you very much. Gee, it’s late.
Virgin No. 50: You make me feel like a real woman. And after this is over I’m going to find one.
Virgin No. 51: What do you mean, “move a little”?
Virgin No. 52: Not now, I’m on my BlackBerry.
Virgin No. 53: I love it when you put on your pants and leave.
Virgin No. 54: We’ve been together twenty-four hours now, and, you know, sometimes it’s O.K. to say something mildly humorous.
Virgin No. 55: That was terrible. I should have listened to the other virgins.
Virgin No. 56: I think I found it. Is that it? Oh. Is this it? Oh, this must be it. No?
Virgin No. 57: It must be hot in here, because I know it’s not me.
Virgin No. 58: Those are my testicles.
Virgin No. 59: Did you know that “virgin” is an anagram of Irving?
Virgin No. 60: First “Spamalot,” then sex.
Virgin No. 61: Great! I was hoping for circumcised.
Virgin No. 62: Was that it?
Virgin No. 63: Dang. George Clooney was being reckless on a motorcycle, but instead I got you.
Virgin No. 64: Tonight, I become a woman. But until then you can call me Bob.
Virgin No. 65: They’re called “adult diapers.” Why?
Virgin No. 66: We could do it here for free, or on a stage in Düsseldorf for money.
Virgin No. 67: I’m just Virgin No. 67 to you, right?
Virgin No. 68: Pee-yoo. Are you wearing Aramis?
Virgin No. 69: Condom, please.
Virgin No. 70: My name is Mother Teresa.
Virgin No. 71: I’m not very good at this, but let’s start with the Reverse Lotus Blossom.
Virgin No. 72: It was paradise, until you showed up.
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-13-2007, 01:01 PM   #923
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!


A girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" and she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"No, Honey, it's because you're 25."
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-14-2007, 08:48 PM   #924
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

Jake is struggling through an airport terminal with two huge and obviously
heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks, "Have you got the
time?"

Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist, "Its a
quarter to six" he says.

"Hey, thats a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger. Jake brightens a
little.

"Yeah, its not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display
not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest
metropoli. He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice
says, "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very Western Texas accent.

A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake
continues, "I've put in regional accents for each city." The display is
unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.

The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "Thats not all" says Jake.

He pushes a few more buttons and a tiny but very hi-resolution map of New
York City appears on the display. "The flashing dot shows our location by
satellite positioning" explains Jake. "View recede ten" Jake says, and the
display changes to show eastern New York state.

"I want to buy this watch!" says the stranger.

"Oh, no, its not ready for sale yet; I'm still working out the bugs" says
the inventor. "But look at this" and he proceeds to demonstrate that . . .
"the watch is also a little FM radio receiver with a digital tuner, a sonar
device that can measure distances up to 125 meters, a pager with thermal
paper printout and, most impressive of all, the capacity for voice
recordings of up to 300 standard-size books, though I only have 32 of my
favorites in there so far" says Jake.

"I've got to have this watch!" says the stranger. "No, you dont understand;
its not ready." "I'll give you $1,000 for it!" "Oh, no, Ive already spent
more than that . . . " "I'll give you $5,000 for it!" "But its just not . .
." "I'll give you $15,000 for it!" And the stranger pulls out a checkbook.

Jake stops to think. He's only put about $8,500 into materials and
development, and with $15,000 he can make another one and have it ready for
merchandising in only six months. The stranger frantically finishes writing
the check and waves it in front of him. "Here it is, ready to hand to you
right here and now. $15,000. Take it or leave it." Jake abruptly makes his
decision, "OK" he says, and peels off the watch.

They make the exchange and the stranger starts happily away.

"Hey, wait a minute" calls Jake after the stranger, who turns around
warily. Jake points to the two suitcases hed been trying to wrestle through
the terminal. "Don't forget your batteries."
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-15-2007, 08:33 AM   #925
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

Valentine Memories...


A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from is coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes I do," she replies.

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember the Valentines Day when your father caught us in the back seat of my car??"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'"

"I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said......"I would have gotten out today."
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-15-2007, 01:59 PM   #926
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to
get in on the weekly charity raffle.

They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week,
when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.

Billy Bob won 1st place- a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and
extra long spaghetti.

Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush.

About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba
asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied,
"Great! I love spaghetti!"

Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush?

"Not so good," replied Bubba. "I'm thinking 'bout switching back to paper."
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-15-2007, 07:45 PM   #927
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

George and Marha were sitting down having breakfast one morning.

George do you know what to day is.

Yes Martha it's our 50 th anniversary.

Do you remeber what we were doing 50 years ago.

Yes Martha we were sitting here at this very table but we were NAKED.

Georeg do you wanna.

Really Martha.

Yep.

SO THEY STRIP DOWN :

George, this is amazing 50 years later and my nippless are as hot for you as they were on our honeymoon..

Martha, one's in your coffee and the others in you oat meal


Sorry...

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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-16-2007, 01:38 PM   #928
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeD
While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to
get in on the weekly charity raffle.

They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week,
when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.

Billy Bob won 1st place- a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and
extra long spaghetti.

Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush.

About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba
asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied,
"Great! I love spaghetti!"

Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush?

"Not so good," replied Bubba. "I'm thinking 'bout switching back to paper."
O.K., this one made me laugh so hard I have a piece of Dorito lodged in my nostril. Note to self, don't read the joke thread during lunch.
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-17-2007, 09:16 AM   #929
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

A friend who works in the oil patch and is currently on assignment
in the Middle East sent me this in an email:

"Here in the desert country, when out on a long stretch of road,
the only place to stop for natural needs are the truck stops along
the highway. Needing to stop more often now than I did 20 years
ago, I just do what I have to do.

Eastern toilets are not the nice clean sit-down arrangements we
are blessed with in the West, but are just holes in the floor. There
is a flush system, and a washing hose, but otherwise they are
about as basic as you might imagine.

About a month ago, I made a much needed stop at one of the
highway stations, went into a stall and in my mind was being really
critical of the design, in that the hole in the floor was so small. I
thought to myself, this is terrible engineering. Anyway I did my
business, and was getting ready to leave when I looked up and
saw the shower head.

I got back on the road as fast as I could, as I could only imagine
the penalty for doing what I did."


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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-17-2007, 09:30 AM   #930
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

He wasn't kidding...

Quote:
Originally Posted by dory36
...Here's a photo from one of the last outings before we left the Middle East... (and no, I don't customarily take such photos -- just wanted a reminder of what I was leaving behind...)

This was in an oasis town about 2 hours south of where we lived. This was comparatively clean, as public facilities go.
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-20-2007, 08:32 AM   #931
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

Black Panties

Mary lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter constantly urges her to get back into the dating world.

Finally, Mary says she'll go out, but doesn't know anyone she can date, since the man she loved and married was her childhood sweetheart, and now he's gone....

Her daughter immediately replies, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it's an immediate hit. They really like one another and after dating for six weeks, he
asks her to join him for a weekend at the lake.

Their first night there, she undresses as does he. There she stands nude except for a pair of black lacy panties, while he's in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks, "Why the black
panties?"

She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore but down there I am still in mourning."

The following night, the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on and he is in his birthday suit, except that he has a black condom over his erection. She looks at him and asks, "What's with the black condom?"

He replies, "I want to offer my deepest condolences..
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-21-2007, 07:28 AM   #932
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

THE MAILMAN

One Monday morning the mailman is walking the neighborhood on his
usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,"
the mailman comments.

Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night.
This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?"

The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"

"Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time
with a sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."

The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."

"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up seven times."

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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-22-2007, 01:15 PM   #933
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

Well given that its Thursday...

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and asking: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and saying: "You're next!"

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. There is rarely any difference in the outcome, since both situations ended in death.
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-22-2007, 01:44 PM   #934
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

Ned is living out his remaining years in an assisted care facility. One day, Ned says to Nurse Judy, "My private part died today."
"Thats sad, Ned," said the nurse, "Please accept my condolences."

The following day, Nurse Judy spots Ned walking down the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas.
"Ned, you shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas."
"But, remember I told you my private part died yesterday?"
"Yes?"
"Well, today is the viewing."
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-22-2007, 06:08 PM   #935
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working
under your vehicle.

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a
Crestview couple that drove their car to Walmart, only to have
their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife
to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the
car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding
from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack
of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward,
quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back
into place.

On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found
herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-23-2007, 08:42 AM   #936
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

High School in 1973 vs 2006

Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with
rifle in gun rack.

1973 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at
Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his own rifle
to show Jack.

2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called,
Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or
gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized
students and teachers.

+++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight
after school.

1973 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark
shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to
jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests
Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both
expelled even though Johnny started it.

+++++++++++++++

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1973 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good
paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.

2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin.
Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state
because Jeffrey has a disability.

+++++++++++++++

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's
car and his Dad gives him a whipping.

1973 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up
normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful
businessman.

2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse.
Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.
Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that
she remembers being abused herself and their Dad
goes to prison. Billy's Mom has affair with
psychologist.

+++++++++++++++

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some
headache medicine to school.

1973 - Mark shares headache medicine with
Principal out on the smoking dock.

2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school
for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and
weapons.

+++++++++++++++

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1973: Pedro goes to summer school, passes
English, goes to college.

2006: Pedro's cause is taken up by state
progressive political party. Newspaper articles
appear nationally explaining that teaching English
as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU
files class action lawsuit against state school
system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned
from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but
ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't
speak English.

+++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover
firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a
model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1973 - Ants die.

2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called.
Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI
investigates parents, siblings removed from home,
computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror
watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

+++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during
recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by
his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1973 - In a short time Johnny feels better and
goes on playing.

2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator
and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.

All in the name of progress!
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-23-2007, 01:59 PM   #937
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

Tips for Living:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride!
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-23-2007, 04:23 PM   #938
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

To my darling husband,

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know
about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned
into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get
hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I
accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The
garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a
halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you
will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my
sweetheart.

I am enclosing a picture for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms
again.

Your loving wife.



P.S....your girlfriend called.
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-23-2007, 05:31 PM   #939
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word,
he made contact, "Mary . .. Mary . .."

"Is that you, Fred?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, off to the
golf course, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have
lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all
afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at
night. The next day it starts again."

"Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven."

"Not exactly, I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona."
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx

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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!
Old 02-24-2007, 11:04 AM   #940
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Re: Its funny joke Thursday!

When we first moved to Texas a few years ago, I didn't know anyone. All the locals that I was introduiced to were dancing to rock, me stuck on country. Finally a guy at work told me about a country western joint just north of town. So I polished up my cowboy boots with a good spit shine (an important point in the story). Got my blue jeans pressed, had my cowboy hat blocked.

While at the joint, I hit on a idea to get to know some of the fine ladies that were twirling around the dance floor. While dancing with them, I would bet them a kiss that I could guess the color of their panties. When they took me up on the bet, all I had to do was look at my boots.

So the first girl took me up on the bet, so I looked down for a moment and told her that she was wearing white panties. And won a kiss. The next one I told her that her's was pink, and won the bet.

The next girl that took me up on the bet, I looked down. I lost that bet cause I couldn't tell. So I asked her what color they were. she laughed and said, honey, I don't wear any panties when I come here.

I was so relieved, there I was worried that I had a crack in my boots!
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