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View Poll Results: Are you a parent and/or step-parent?
I am female, and a mother or step-mother or both 20 17.24%
I am female, and not a mother or step-mother 22 18.97%
I am male, and a father or step-father or both 41 35.34%
I am male and not a father or step-father 33 28.45%
Voters: 116. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-26-2010, 09:52 AM   #21
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Even when I was a kid I did not like hanging out with kids. Always preferred dogs.

Was thrilled when a friend found a doctor who would do V's on young unmarrieds with no kids (this was pre-internet, and not easy to find) to seal the deal.
Exactly.

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Old 06-26-2010, 10:07 AM   #22
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Interesting results. I expected a higher percentage would be parents. I would speculate that it is just a self selection bias - a fair number of people choosing not to have kids may be thinking forward to FIRE.
If you think about the dynamics of FIRE, it's not surprising. Given what it takes to get there, it's natural that we'd be overrepresented by cheapskates LBYMers, people without children (who can save for retirement instead of college), and folks in the public sector. All of these groups are more likely to be able to FIRE sooner. No doubt we have some here who hit the "trifecta" and are in all three of these groups. That combination would more or less be the early retirement version of a winning lottery ticket.
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Old 06-26-2010, 10:18 AM   #23
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No children for me and I never wanted any. I love all my nieces and nephews, but it's nice to send them home to their parents after a visit.

I will be a great great aunt early next year!
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Old 06-26-2010, 10:58 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by ziggy29 View Post
If you think about the dynamics of FIRE, it's not surprising. Given what it takes to get there, it's natural that we'd be overrepresented by cheapskates LBYMers, people without children (who can save for retirement instead of college), and folks in the public sector. All of these groups are more likely to be able to FIRE sooner. No doubt we have some here who hit the "trifecta" and are in all three of these groups. That combination would more or less be the early retirement version of a winning lottery ticket.
Agree
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Old 06-26-2010, 11:04 AM   #25
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A 33 yo son. Didn´t expect him. Genius Doc said I wouldn´t be able to have children (I couldn´t care less) a couple months prior to our marriage. When I told my soon- to- be wife she was glad of the news.Both of us came from large families and, maybe because of that weren´t much interested in kids. Neither of us were thrilled when told that she was pregnant, quite the opposite
.
She died 13 years ago. Never got along with son. Plenty of times I was in the middle of their arguments or disagreements. Sometines we even blamed him for some of OUR fights. It was very unfair.

In the course of recent years (since her mother died?) I´ve become aware that I´m truly glad I´ve had him, with whom I´ve really got along fine.

My second wife likes him a lot, even though she says that he is a 33 yo spolled brat.

But like some people here, I like dogs better than kids. I never stop to pay attention to kids with the same enthusiasm I do with dogs.
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Old 06-26-2010, 11:36 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by vicente solano View Post
A 33 yo son. Didn´t expect him. Genius Doc said I wouldn´t be able to have children (I couldn´t care less) a couple months prior to our marriage. When I told my soon- to- be wife she was glad of the news.Both of us came from large families and, maybe because of that weren´t much interested in kids. Neither of us were thrilled when told that she was pregnant, quite the opposite
.
She died 13 years ago. Never got along with son. Plenty of times I was in the middle of their arguments or disagreements. Sometines we even blamed him for some of OUR fights. It was very unfair.

In the course of recent years (since her mother died?) I´ve become aware that I´m truly glad I´ve had him, with whom I´ve really got along fine.

My second wife likes him a lot, even though she says that he is a 33 yo spolled brat.

But like some people here, I like dogs better than kids. I never stop to pay attention to kids with the same enthusiasm I do with dogs.
Thanks Vicente, this is a level of frankness that many of us Americans would avoid like the plague. I am so glad that things are now happy between you and son, and also between your wife and son.

Ha
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Old 06-26-2010, 11:42 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by ziggy29 View Post
If you think about the dynamics of FIRE, it's not surprising. Given what it takes to get there, it's natural that we'd be overrepresented by cheapskates LBYMers, people without children (who can save for retirement instead of college), and folks in the public sector. All of these groups are more likely to be able to FIRE sooner. No doubt we have some here who hit the "trifecta" and are in all three of these groups. That combination would more or less be the early retirement version of a winning lottery ticket.
All three.
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Old 06-26-2010, 11:50 AM   #28
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We started out wanting 4 kids but stopped at 2 sons. I just felt like we were done. They are now 23 and 26, great guys, very different from each other but very close.

I was raised thinking that of course you have kids, it was expected. So just to be open minded I tried leaving it undecided and even considered staying child-free. When my older sister had her kids the urge hit me hard and I knew I wanted to be a parent.

For us it was the best thing we ever did. I understand couples or singles who just don't feel the need to have a family. It changes everything, forever.
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Old 06-26-2010, 11:53 AM   #29
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Parents need not save for college for their kids. So parents can still (a) be LBYMers, (b) have children (who can save for retirement instead of college), and work in the public sector.

The poll is about even between folks with kids and folks without kids. It seems that FIRE is not as dependent on this issue as some would have us believe.

When I'm feeling a little more mean, I might start a poll about who is gonna change our diapers when we get older.
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Old 06-26-2010, 11:59 AM   #30
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Father of three here. two we still have.

I certainly agree that kids are not for everyone and would not want to suggest otherwise. We waited perhaps too long to have kids but it gave us time to experience life without them to make sure. We were married 12 years without kids.

We are currently on day 29 of a West camping trip. The other night at the campground pool there was a couple that left the minute we got there and were mumbling about d*mn kids. Not ours but others in the pool. My oldest ask me why some people do not like kids when they were kids at one time themselves. A good question from a kid. I used answers from this forum to explain it and to reinforce that either choice is certainly correct.
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Old 06-26-2010, 05:41 PM   #31
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When I'm feeling a little more mean, I might start a poll about who is gonna change our diapers when we get older.
Wouldn't the folks without kids simply pay for those services and have them administered by a professional guardian/advocate? The financial advantage of being childless is so great (widely mentioned on this forum) that having a mountain of money to pay for advocacy and care during your elder years should be no issue....... Unless perhaps you blew the money you saved by not raising a family. In that case, you should wallow in your own excrement, no?

I don't know anyone without kids and is FIRE'd that can't afford to pay BIG BUX for professional eldercare.
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Old 06-26-2010, 05:46 PM   #32
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There is no way I would want a child of mine to take care of me when I can't take care of myself.

Besides...there's no guarantee an adult child would want or be able to do those things.
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Old 06-26-2010, 05:54 PM   #33
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There is no way I would want a child of mine to take care of me when I can't take care of myself.

Besides...there's no guarantee an adult child would want or be able to do those things.
There is an important difference between having a child care for you and having a child advocate for you.

What I'm counting on is that my son, a young man of excellent character, be my advocate. DW and I are self-insured for LTC. DS knows I'd prefer my attendents to be attractive, young females wearing French maid outfits and will make the arrangements if the time comes I can't.

If the time comes when I'd trust a professional advocate to look out for me more than I'd trust DS, certainly not the case currently, I'll hire a professional and set up the appropriate trusts.

I hope I'm right about this. In our extended family, and in our inner circle of friends, there is a strong track record of kids being the best advocates for their elderly parents. I know that history is probably influencing me. But, your have to put your trust somewhere.
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Old 06-26-2010, 06:12 PM   #34
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There is an important difference between having a child care for you and having a child advocate for you.
Absolutely. I should have been more descriptive in my post...I meant feeding and bathing me.
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What I'm counting on is that my son, a young man of excellent character, be my advocate. DW and I are self-insured for LTC. DS knows I'd prefer my attendents to be attractive, young females wearing French maid outfits and will make the arrangements if the time comes I can't.
Sounds like you've got it maid made!
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If the time comes when I'd trust a professional advocate to look out for me more than I'd trust DS, certainly not the case currently, I'll hire a professional and set up the appropriate trusts.
We have a niece and nephew to depend on regarding financial purposes. We'll see how things play out as the years go by.
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I hope I'm right about this. In our extended family, and in our inner circle of friends, there is a strong track record of kids being the best advocates for their elderly parents. I know that history is probably influencing me. But, your have to put your trust somewhere.
Sure...you do have to put your trust somewhere, otherwise life would be pretty miserable.

Here's to all of us having someone to trust when we need them the most.
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Old 06-26-2010, 06:20 PM   #35
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Rather than staying off topic, I started a new thread:
Health care advocate in old age
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Old 06-26-2010, 06:29 PM   #36
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I never had the slightest desire to have children. I have never stopped in mid-action and said to myself, "Wouldn't this be better if I had kids?" I have thought that I was glad that I didn't have kids many times. I had a nice dog (my dear Emily, the black lab, passed away last year (I haven't been the same since)) who was, of course, totally dependent on us. We structured our lives and vacations around her existence. It never bothered us for a minute. We loved that dog with all our hearts. I love dogs and do not like kids. I brighten up in the presence of a dog and when a kid finally leaves the room.

Mike D.
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Old 06-27-2010, 08:30 AM   #37
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I never had the slightest desire to have children. I have never stopped in mid-action and said to myself, "Wouldn't this be better if I had kids?" I have thought that I was glad that I didn't have kids many times. I had a nice dog (my dear Emily, the black lab, passed away last year (I haven't been the same since)) who was, of course, totally dependent on us. We structured our lives and vacations around her existence. It never bothered us for a minute. We loved that dog with all our hearts. I love dogs and do not like kids. I brighten up in the presence of a dog and when a kid finally leaves the room.

Mike D.
+1. I endure children and love dogs. We run our lives around our animals. And our lives are good indeed. Another dog, perhaps, for you?
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Old 06-27-2010, 12:27 PM   #38
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There is no way I would want a child of mine to take care of me when I can't take care of myself.

Besides...there's no guarantee an adult child would want or be able to do those things.
Exactly my opinion.
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Old 06-27-2010, 12:39 PM   #39
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I am hopeful that massive consumption of bacon will allow me to avoid the issue.
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Old 06-27-2010, 01:13 PM   #40
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No kids. No plans to have any but i'm only 30 so who knows. I sometimes feel bad for my parents since neither I nor my brother(32) have kids or plan to have kids so they will never be grandparents. I don't feel bad enough though to go make sure I have kids. Just never felt a need or a want to be a parent.
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