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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 09:49 AM   #21
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

A classic that's worth repeating:

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.

Brenda mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Brenda begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, Brenda grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when ... Wally, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to unplug the ride.
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 10:00 AM   #22
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo!
A classic that's worth repeating:

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.

Brenda mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Brenda begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, Brenda grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when ... Wally, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to unplug the ride.
What's with this "blonde, she" stuff?? Why not have blonde, men jokes?

No, I'm not blonde, although I've been accused of being one from time to time.
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 10:10 AM   #23
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by cube_rat
What's with this "blonde, she" stuff?? Why not have blonde, men jokes?

No, I'm not blonde, although I've been accused of being one from time to time.
As I've said before, thank goodness for the 5th Amendment...



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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 10:20 AM   #24
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by cube_rat
What's with this "blonde, she" stuff?? Why not have blonde, men jokes?
In an effort to be politically correct (can a blonde joke be politically correct ), I made some changes. Maybe it's just me, but it appears to really lose something...


A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though he/she has had no lessons or prior experience.

He/she mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but he/she begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, he/she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

He/she tries to throw his/her arms around the horse's neck, but he/she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up his/her frail grip, he/she leaps away from the horse to try and throw himself/herself to safety.

Unfortunately, his/her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and he/she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his/her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As his/her head is battered against the ground, he/she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when ... Pat, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to unplug the ride.



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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 10:26 AM   #25
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by cube_rat

No, I'm not blonde, although I've been accused of being one from time to time.
Cube: We like you no matter what your current hair color is.
See you tonight at 5:30.
By the way, the Walnetto ref. was a test.
You passed.



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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 11:00 AM   #26
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by cube_rat
Why not have blonde, men jokes?*
No doubt they exist-- you need to provide specific examples!

Otherwise we'll have to work our way through brunettes & redheads...
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 11:06 AM   #27
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Isn't it a bit redundant to talk about blond men being idiotic? Oh well. Here is one joke:



A big, buff, and burly blonde man goes into the local drug store to buy some rubbers, so that he will be able to practice safe sex with his new girlfriend.

The blonde guy walks up to the pharmacist and asks, "How much for this box of rubbers?"

"Well, condoms are $1.00 for a box of three," the pharmacist replied. "Plus seven cents for the tax."

"Oh," said the blonde man, "I wondered how you kept them on."
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 11:08 AM   #28
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha
Isn't it a bit redundant to talk about blond men being idiotic?
Ouch, that hot caffeine was just administered intranasally...

You may be a battle-scarred veteran of the genre, but you don't even want this board's posters whipping out the lawyer jokes!
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 11:11 AM   #29
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by DanTien
In the interest of good taste I will be resigning my position on the forum board sometime in the future.*

Can you scan that cannon photo in?
DanTien: *As "morale officer" on board, we don't want to hear any LBJ stuff. *(I have decided not
to seek re-election, and if nominated will not serve.)

As far as JG on a cannon. *I've already seen a photo of "little Mr. Peepers". *A photo of the cannon would be alright though.
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 11:16 AM   #30
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha
Isn't it a bit redundant to talk about blond men being idiotic?* Oh well.* Here is one joke:



A big, buff, and burly blonde man goes into the local drug store to buy some rubbers, so that he will be able to practice safe sex with his new girlfriend.

The blonde guy walks up to the pharmacist and asks, "How much for this box of rubbers?"

"Well, condoms are $1.00 for a box of three," the pharmacist replied. "Plus seven cents for the tax."

"Oh," said the blonde man, "I wondered how you kept them on."


Incidentally, that's the way I used to keep my baseball cap on.
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 11:20 AM   #31
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha
Isn't it a bit redundant to talk about blond men being idiotic?* Oh well.* Here is one joke:



A big, buff, and burly blonde man goes into the local drug store to buy some rubbers, so that he will be able to practice safe sex with his new girlfriend.

The blonde guy walks up to the pharmacist and asks, "How much for this box of rubbers?"

"Well, condoms are $1.00 for a box of three," the pharmacist replied. "Plus seven cents for the tax."

"Oh," said the blonde man, "I wondered how you kept them on."
Err, okay.... I'm either having a blonde or semi-senior moment. I read this 5 times and still didn't get it!
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 11:22 AM   #32
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by ex-Jarhead
Incidentally, that's the way I used to keep my baseball cap on.
Now that we know the truth about your past, you gotta change your name to "ex-Tackhead".


(Cube_Rat, do you get it now?)


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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 12:04 PM   #33
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

I do believe that Martha has discovered an entirely new topic/thread: Things that can go under various types of hats. : And for the dirty old men 'where those hats may or may not go.

--DH
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 07:21 PM   #34
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by ex-Jarhead
DanTien: *As "morale officer" on board, we don't want to hear any LBJ stuff. *(I have decided not
to seek re-election, and if nominated will not serve.)

As far as JG on a cannon. *I've already seen a photo of "little Mr. Peepers". *A photo of the cannon would be alright though.
Sorry guys. Can't do it (even I have my limits).
Anyway, I never figured out how to post a photo. It's a big loss to the folks on this board. I have some good ones.

JG
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 07:23 PM   #35
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by MRGALT2U
Anyway, I never figured out how to post a photo.
Sure you have. You just don't like having to bother your wife every time you want to post one...
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health
Old 10-28-2005, 07:29 PM   #36
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Re: Laughter and the Forum's Health

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
Sure you have.* You just don't like having to bother your wife every time you want to post one...
Good one!

JG
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