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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 05:06 PM   #21
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

It seems to have disappeared from the archives, but The Onion had a parody article a few years back entitled "I pretend to give a sh*t because I care"...
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 05:21 PM   #22
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eagle43
Greg,
Reading your other posts convinced me you were brilliant.

Now, I need more evidence.*
That characteristic is definitely perishable.

And so is he...
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 07:16 PM   #23
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apocalypse . . .um . . .SOON
Or I'd hear her talking in the kitchen and then go in there to find out if she was talking to me--and then find out she wasn't.

--Greg

I was talking to my boyfried.
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 07:42 PM   #24
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha
I was talking to my boyfried.* *
Watch out Greg - I detect a Freudian slip...
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 07:53 PM   #25
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

Greg, if you are reading this, you get off the internet right now. No more board until these are done:

[img width=678 height=750]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y73/martham/chores.jpg[/img]
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 08:32 PM   #26
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

Martha actually cleaned up her note before posting it, so she wouldn't sound quite so demanding...

It originally said...
Attached Images
File Type: jpg chores.jpg (24.9 KB, 72 views)
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 10:24 PM   #27
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

DW: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said that last month too.

--DH
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 10:28 PM   #28
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

I talk to myself quite a bit. No, I am not talking to my spouse. I like to be looking at someone when I talk, so I can guage their reaction to what I am saying. I talk to myself quite a bit at work sometimes. It helps me to think or vent. People in cubicles beside me do the same thing. Course they are women also!

Dreamer
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 10:35 PM   #29
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apocalypse . . .um . . .SOON
DW: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said that last month too.
And she cut you off for weeks...from posting here, that is.

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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 10:37 PM   #30
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS: A screenplay by fearlessflyonthewall with famous stars and lots of good action scenes:

Someone at the bottom of the basement staircase, and another person at the very top.

DH: Honey, could I please come up now? Iíve been down here for weeks, living on sour milk and those rolled oats that I was saving for the apocalypse.

DW: Why?

DH: Well, my pants are getting loose and you never gave me a belt and I have to hold them up around my chest with my hands or put my arms in the belt loops to hold them up while Iím eating my rolled oats and drinking my milk and my ankles are getting cold and and the bed is getting smelly and my . . . .

DW: Shut uP!

DH: Yes, Dear.

DW: Do you have anything else to say?

DH: I could go to the grocery store and buy food and make you a spinach pizza.

DW: Try again.

DH: I could get steaks, chocolate ice cream and wine and . . . .

DW: Not a chance in hell.

DH: Well, you could forgive me! Itís kinda like President George W. Bush: he keeps doing goofy stuff thatís bad for the country and after a certain point itís just wrong to hate him so much. He canít help it.

Michael Jackson (from under DHís bed): Thatís ignorant, Greg, just ignorant.

DW: What did you call me?

DH: Nothing. That was just my imaginary friend. He doesnít mean any harm.

DW: OK, you can come up for a couple of days if you promise to be a better person, refill the fridge, and cook and clean---AND shut up.

DH: Thanks sweetie. Here I come.

Mr. Spock (from under the bed): I fail to see the logic in any of this crapola.

Guy Noir (from under the bed): Keep your mouth shut Spock; we donít want him down here anymore than she wants him up there.

The End

--fearlessfly
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 09-30-2005, 10:59 PM   #31
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo!
And she cut you off for weeks...from posting here, that is.

REW: Actually anything of any length is now pre-screened by you-know-who. Seriously, I can only visit mostly on weekends. I miss everyone here a great deal, even JG . I feel duller of mind and heavier of heart, but it keeps the world a better place. It should also keep me focused on my chores. I'm almost done with that list DW published--maybe one or two more weeks. If not, I'll finish in the spring, maybe after the rain stops and everything dries out--thoroughly.

--Greg

PS Dang, I kinda suspected that there were other women besides my mother and my wife who do talk to themselves. So it genetic and not all my fault. Now if I can just stop 'talking to Jack.'
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 10-01-2005, 08:22 AM   #32
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

Greg - Time for the ERF brothers to break you out of hell prison. About 6:30 tonight after you've made dinner and while Martha is listening to P.H.C.
Oh, and make sure Martha doesn't read this.
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 10-01-2005, 08:46 AM   #33
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

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Originally Posted by DanTien
Greg - Time for the ERF brothers to break you out of hell prison. About 6:30 tonight after you've made dinner and while Martha is listening to P.H.C.
Oh, and make sure Martha doesn't read this.
DanTien: Good idea. I can't believe DW still thinks those guys are imaginary. It's like she almost believes everything I say. It's going to be tough though because I have to talk her into believing that Guy isn't schizophrenic, if I do the breakout at 6:30 when he's supposed to be on the radio. . . . . . Now I'm worried. Which Guy Noir do you think I have in the basement, the tough Guy or the soft, squishy Guy?

--Greg

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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 10-01-2005, 09:46 AM   #34
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

Greg - um...those guys in the basement... I'm pretty sure they're imaginary Greg man...PHC is a repeat tonight...Guy and the bros are up in Duluth right now at the 5 Spot getting loaded ready. we're going to be feeling a little squishy by 6:30, but we're going get you out, get you help and put you where you belong. You won't have to worry about toilet seats down at Jimmy's...keep it together man pretty soon you'll be sipping soybean martinis
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 10-01-2005, 09:52 AM   #35
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

Dan: Do they have little black bean martinis? It would be cool to swirl those thingys around with my little plastic sword and watch them settle. I'll talk to DW, maybe we could tickets to the show. I'll put it on her "to do" list.

--Greg
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today
Old 10-09-2005, 10:04 AM   #36
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Re: Let's pick on the Ladies today

In my retirement, I've always wanted to write a book called "The Art and Science of the Small Time Saboteur" that would allow DHs to win arguments without getting caught.

--Greg
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