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Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 01:45 PM
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#1
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 84
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Let's Pick on the Men Today!
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!
ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants
The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.
LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALT H
PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counselors available
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 01:50 PM
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#2
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,466
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
You forgot one other subject:
LEARN HOW TO PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN AFTER WHIZZING. How ro prevent your wife and daughters from falling into the toilet in the middle of the night.
__________________
fuzzy? cute?
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 01:51 PM
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#3
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,466
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cube_rat
You forgot one other subject:*
LEARN HOW TO PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN AFTER WHIZZING.* How to prevent your wife and daughters from falling into the toilet in the middle of the night.
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__________________
fuzzy? cute?
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 01:51 PM
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#4
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,466
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Whoops, hehe. I need remedial training in editing a post.
__________________
fuzzy? cute?
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 01:54 PM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 9,067
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Wait a minute........this is not funny.
__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Investing style: Full time wuss.
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 01:57 PM
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#6
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 408
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 02:19 PM
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#7
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,375
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cube_rat
You forgot one other subject:*
LEARN HOW TO PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN AFTER WHIZZING.* How ro prevent your wife and daughters from falling into the toilet in the middle of the night.
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With a wife and two daughters, I have heard this complaint a few times, but in defense of me, and your he-men that may be getting up in the dark, it sometimes works both ways. Here's a little ditty:
Water upon wood makes a sound that all can hear,
but water upon porcelin falls silently to the ear.
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 02:20 PM
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#8
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,811
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cube_rat
You forgot one other subject:*
LEARN HOW TO PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN AFTER WHIZZING.* How ro prevent your wife and daughters from falling into the toilet in the middle of the night.
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Where is it written that men have the responsibility to lower the seat? *We need it up...you need it down.....seems like the requirement to have it down all the time is just another cross we men have to bear. * *If you want it down....you should put it there when you wizz and then put it up again or risk having a wet seat on your next visit. *8)
This did not work for my wife either but I thought it would be fun adding it to this thread.
__________________
Work? I don't have time to work....I'm retired.
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 02:28 PM
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#9
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,856
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveR
Where is it written that men have the responsibility to lower the seat?
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After decades of advising billions of readers on coping with their grave, life-threatening problems, Ann Landers finally listed the top two items that consistently generated more mail than any others:
1. Whether the toilet seat should be up or down, and
2. Whether the toilet paper should hang down in front of the roll or behind it.
Which gives you an idea of how far the human race has come since we dispensed with outhouses & corn cobs.
For you men, particularly the foolish grasshopper who provoked this thread, my advice to #1 & #2 is: "Whichever way your spouse says to do it.
All other choices are irrelevant, despite their inherent "correctness", and may actually be hazardous to marital harmony.
__________________
*
Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 02:30 PM
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#10
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,466
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Well, WE women need it down all of the time. *You fellas need it up with number one and down with number two. *Or you could simply leave it down *all of the time. *There are sub-set of men that like to sit on the throne during all phases of elimination. *This way standing up and sitting down doesn't interupt the important reading. *
__________________
fuzzy? cute?
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 02:39 PM
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#11
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
I tried putting it down, but then DW complained about pee on the seat.
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 02:48 PM
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#12
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,375
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
The seat thing. I can't be bothered with ethical decisions now that i'm retired, and I don't have the energy anymore, so I just use the bedroom window..
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 03:03 PM
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#13
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,811
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Here is a serious reply to this thread:
Subject: : Men's rules
Message: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the
woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something
she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for
doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point
system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-10)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the snow (+10)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a 6-iron (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a
college buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a long legged dancer (-150)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called Deathcop 3 (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of
it(+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) Yes, you lose points no matter
what
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem] You listen,displaying
what looks like a concerned __expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the
TV(+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-1000)
__________________
Work? I don't have time to work....I'm retired.
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 04:13 PM
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#14
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: No. California
Posts: 1,858
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Both of my boys put the lid down, yes, I trained them well when they were young.
They will have happy wifes some day. I met that goal !!
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 05:27 PM
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#15
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,677
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cube_rat
There are sub-set of men that like to sit on the throne during all phases of elimination.
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That's my dh!!! LMAO
__________________
Dogs aren't our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 05:41 PM
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#16
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,459
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
2.* Whether the toilet paper should hang down in front of the roll or behind it.
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There is no one correct answer. It depends on whether you have cats. For humans, the obviously correct way is to have the paper hang down in front. But if you have a cat and you do that, you'll find the paper unrolled in a big heap on the floor. So, in our house, certain bathrooms have an anti-cat roll in which the paper hangs behind the roll.
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 06:01 PM
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#17
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 577
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveR
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-10)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the snow (+10)
But return with Beer (-5)
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Important correction to be made here.......
But return with Beer
Otherwise, just about right on target.
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 06:05 PM
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#18
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: minnesota
Posts: 13,228
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Psychologist Robin Kowalski at Western Carolina University asked 167 men and women to list the habits that bothered them most about their current or past partners. At the top were complaints about guys who don’t talk enough or chew with their mouths open, and women who talk too much or play with their hair.
But just as the men were running out of gas, the women shifted gears, pointing out more problems: He’s often late, he’s always looking at his watch, he plays too roughly with the cat, his shoes and belt don’t match. When Kowalski tallied the gripes by gender, she found that women had two to four times as many pet peeves as men.
__________________
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No more lawyer stuff, no more political stuff, so no more CYA
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 07:17 PM
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#19
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha
Psychologist Robin Kowalski at Western Carolina University asked 167 men and women to list the habits that bothered them most about their current or past partners. At the top were complaints about guys who don’t talk enough or chew with their mouths open, and women who talk too much or play with their hair.
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Women who play with their hair are hot.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
09-30-2005, 08:44 PM
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#20
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,381
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Re: Let's Pick on the Men Today!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cube_rat
Well, WE women need it down all of the time. *You fellas need it up with number one and down with number two. *
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This is perfectly true. But I've never once, not once, made the mistake of sitting down without first checking to see if the seat was down. Not even when drunk out of my mind. So as long as that's true, I don't think I should be held responsible for the incomprehensible fact that 50% of the population can't seem to successfully work a toilette without running the risk of falling in.
__________________
Retired early, traveling perpetually.
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