Man who stuck dates with the bill looking at prison time

[Nemo2]

If I went to a date with a man who turned out to be 40 pounds heavier and 10 years older than his profile pic, I would turn around and leave.

About 20 years or so ago my late wife's best friend's eldest daughter established an online/telephone 'relationship' with a guy a substantial distance away.....they chatted on the phone, he sent a pic, and she arranged to fly and meet him.

Some years later I happened to ask the friend how things went.......she said when her daughter arrived at the airport, the guy, who had somehow neglected to mention the additional 100 lbs he'd acquired since the photo, was there to meet her.

 

[Music Lover]

I hope they pick all women jury.

In my experience, most women are just as fair as most men in most instances, so it shouldn't make any difference.

 

[Music Lover]

Another approach to is when going out with someone, say "Order whatever you want" (and expect to stick to the offer). If the date runs up a tab, ordering the most expensive items, you know the person may be too high maintenance if you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with. Of course, unless you are looking for someone to live things up with .

Dinner on a first date is overkill...meet for a coffee or a drink to see if there is a connection worth pursuing. That way if there's no spark, no one is stuck sitting through an lengthy and/or expensive dinner with someone they realized that they have absolutely no interest in.

I would only agree to dinner on a first date if we had previously met and I felt a connection and thought that there was a chance of a potential relationship.

 

[RobbieB]

Not even tried let alone convicted.

I suspect will never even get to court, plea bargained. Courts do not have time for this stuff.

 

[Jerry1]

BUT, I am surprised that nobody else has mentioned anything on one of my thoughts.... have the app attach a warning... IOW, I also think the app is guilty in this case... they should have something where you can report abuse and it be displayed or the person banned from the site... no app to get people no dine and dash...

I assume it could easily be gotten around any kind of warning by using multiple profiles. I’m thinking he’s a different guy on every app he used and probably a different person on the same site as time went on.

 

[Badger]

When I divorced at 34 I started dating again about 3 years later. I was barely able to keep a roof over my head so money was really tight. I tried a dating service to meet women. First dates were either for coffee, breakfast, or lunch. Always at a place where we could talk and get to know each other. I met a few nice ladies and a few that I would never have interest in. Never followed up for a second meeting until I met my wife. Our first date was at a happy hour that served a buffet of appetizers. That worked well for my meager income. It turned out she wasn't a drinker so one glass of wine was all she ever ordered. Wow! I hit the jackpot. She was beautiful, enjoyed an active outdoor life, wasn't a drinker, wasn't a "gold digger", and lived a frugal lifestyle.



We have been married now for 31 years but I did kiss a few frogs looking for her.


Cheers!

 

[Car-Guy]

At least 40 pounds difference!

+1 "at least".

 

[jIMOh]

I was referring the OP's son who was being used as a source of free dinners. Men should keep it simple and low cost for at least the first three dates. Not cheap, just low cost and simple.

Yes, all ladies should be careful with any man they do not know well.

+1
All first dates are drinks only
If I need to eat I arrive early or eat fast food on the way.

My general guideline is avoid buying tickets or sharing meals the first 1-3 months. Spending time over food is not dating

 

[jIMOh]

I would be hard pressed to convict the guy on the dine and dash... it seems that the ladies expected to have the whole meal paid for, so that is kinda sexist if they did... but that is also normal... as mentioned by the OP the ladies seem to expect to get a free meal so if they do not pay should they be charged with a crime? To me it is a civil matter... they can sue him for reimbursement... it is not a crime...



Now, the dye and dash is a crime as he had service done that he was required to pay and did not...




What should happen (only on the dinners) is that the site should put a warning on his profile and that would stop almost all women...

I have often said a good enhancement to a dating site is a place where the people they meet can leave directed feedback.

Did they show up?
Did they look like their pictures?
On a scale of 1-4 what is the creepy meter?

 

[Nemo2]

Did they show up?
Did they look like their pictures?
On a scale of 1-4 what is the creepy meter?

After my late wife died I went on a dating site, (where I was eventually lucky enough to meet DW); one woman, (whom I went out with a few times but the nacent relationship evaporated), arranged to first meet at noon outside a bookstore on Toronto's busiest street........she told me over lunch that it was a ploy she used for first evaluation......if the guy didn't live up to the hype she just kept walking past.

 

[karen1972]

As for the pic, look at her neck, it is clearly edited and a clear giveaway. Once you get used to photo software its easy to notice edited photos. You can "smooth" over most wrinkles, blemishes, etc but when you start taking off weight its usually noted by body not being in proportion.

Don't blame online dating, people always lie and embellish when they are insecure. I don't see that any worse than a guy I dated who insisted on buying everything and wouldn't let me pay for anything and then found out he was in debt up to his eyeballs. A lie is a lie.

If the person showed up and didn't look like their pic, I simply walked out immediately after telling them I couldn't date someone who wasn't happy with themselves. I met my better half online. I'm very overweight but found a wonderful person who appreciated how confident I was, how honest my write up and photos were and those are the only relationships that will last.

Its easy to weed out the leaches when you look at their write up and talk to them. I suggest your son may be too influenced by looks and thus falling into that trap. The good thing about online is you can have lengthy meaningful conversations before you meet people so you can get rid of the wrong people and focus on the right ones.

When my sister got divorced she gave up right away. My advice was this. How many houses did you look at before you bought one? For her probably 20-30. If you are going to spend that much energy looking for a home because its such "big investment" and such a "commitment" why would you think finding a life partner should be easier. You go into the house, you love the outside look, you love the kitchen, etc.. but then you notice the neighborhood or a water leak in the basement, etc.. Its all the same thing.

 

[Sunset]

A..... My advice was this. How many houses did you look at before you bought one? For her probably 20-30. If you are going to spend that much energy looking for a home because its such "big investment" and such a "commitment" why would you think finding a life partner should be easier. You go into the house, you love the outside look, you love the kitchen, etc.. but then you notice the neighborhood or a water leak in the basement, etc.. Its all the same thing.

Hope I don't spring any leaks

Online dating didn't work for me, I met a bunch of nice people.
Funniest time was after many online coversations, I go to pick up my date, she was really OLD. We were both shocked at the age difference, she offered to skip it.
Instead we spent a couple of hours touring around, having coffee, and when we got back I told her to tell her grand daughter we made out in the backseat

 

[ncbill]

Idk about felonies but a few months, say July/August/September on a county work-farm down east in my state would probably bake the arrogance out of this guy.

 

[easysurfer]

Not saying online dating doesn't work, but way too many scammers.

I got sick of all the scammers that on a profile I put down something like "I'm good at spotting scammers. So if you are one, you are wasting your time and get ready to be ignored." That cut down the scammers messages by about 95%.

I guess telling them to move on to an easier mark worked .

 

[beppie58]

I think the sentence sounds pretty harsh and blaming the woman for this is totally unfair. Perhaps a better punishment might be giving all his dates gift cards for what they paid in meal checks plus $500.00 for being such a dick.

 

[Texas Proud]

I think the sentence sounds pretty harsh and blaming the woman for this is totally unfair. Perhaps a better punishment might be giving all his dates gift cards for what they paid in meal checks plus $500.00 for being such a dick.

I do not think that he has been convicted.... could be wrong though...

 

[Helena]

I don’t see a dramatic difference in the photo versus video pic.

She looks the same to me too.

Photo taken at a different angle.

.

 

[gooddog]

If only he had stolen a loaf of bread....

 

[inkitnow]

He deserves it

From what I read, this cad and manipulator encouraged his dates to “order whatever you want” and proceeded to order the most expensive item on the menu for himself. Sometimes, he even ordered two entrees. This amounts to premeditated theft. He did it over and over- walking out on his date after racking up a huge bill.
I hope he gets all the jail food he can eat.

 

[haha]

I don’t see a dramatic difference in the photo versus video pic.

True, no more than 50 pounds. I never even notice anything less than 75.

Ha

 

[akidagain2018]

Ooh my! We seem to have a lot of married folks here who don't know how ''on line" dating works. Here's what you need to know: people lie in words and photos, photos are cropped, shopped, filtered, retrieved from decades earlier. And unfortunately, people have taken to using their 'date' as a meal ticket, which I find appalling. I've always been the woman with the cash/credit card so that's not been anything I've ever done. For the OP's son, tell him that it's never too early to exit a date. Years ago I ditched a guy, who showed up not being who I had thought, seemed a little crazy, and not smart, so I exited within 15 minutes. You don't feel well, something came up, I have to make a call about my so and so in the hospital, sorry..... Or just say, this isn't going to work, gotta go...

 

[jollystomper]

Ooh my! We seem to have a lot of married folks here who don't know how ''on line" dating works. Here's what you need to know: people lie in words and photos, photos are cropped, shopped, filtered, retrieved from decades earlier. And unfortunately, people have taken to using their 'date' as a meal ticket, which I find appalling. I've always been the woman with the cash/credit card so that's not been anything I've ever done. For the OP's son, tell him that it's never too early to exit a date. Years ago I ditched a guy, who showed up not being who I had thought, seemed a little crazy, and not smart, so I exited within 15 minutes. You don't feel well, something came up, I have to make a call about my so and so in the hospital, sorry..... Or just say, this isn't going to work, gotta go...

You reminded me of DW and I having an "adventure" being the "lookout" for one of DW single friends who decided to date online. Our task was to also be at the same meeting venue - restaurant, bar, whatever - and to discreetly monitor from a distance. I set up a set of signals for her friend to use to indicate of things were going good, okay, bad, or ugly.

Her friend used a current, full body photo, which may have been a mistake since she is tall and tends towards the curvy side. Most of the men who showed up used older/touched up pictures and were shocked that she looked like her picture.

The worst thing we had to do was throw one guy off of her trail when the date did not go well and he wanted to follow her home. He felt that since he had spent time sharing a meal with her he deserved "something more". She ended up driving to a shopping mall parking lot, we trailed and sure enough the guy followed her there. She went into the mall and met us there, but the guy stayed in his car. where I took her car keys, went into her car, and drove off. I drove by his car on the way out and he seemed to have a puzzled look on his face. Meanwhile, DW brought our around to a different entrance and they left without the guy spotting them. Those were some fun times...


But... in the end, she did meet a man through this that they ended up hitting things off, got married after a couple of years, and are still happily married 10 years later.

So my recommendation... if you do go this dating route, have friends who can act as lookouts.

 

[Mdlerth]

You can't make this stuff up

The worst thing we had to do was throw one guy off of her trail when the date did not go well and he wanted to follow her home. He felt that since he had spent time sharing a meal with her he deserved "something more". She ended up driving to a shopping mall parking lot, we trailed and sure enough the guy followed her there. She went into the mall and met us there, but the guy stayed in his car. where I took her car keys, went into her car, and drove off. I drove by his car on the way out and he seemed to have a puzzled look on his face. Meanwhile, DW brought our around to a different entrance and they left without the guy spotting them.

Awesome story! Truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction.

 

[beppie58]

Personally I find it cruel that some folks in here are some how blaming her for being left and paying for this schmucks dinner.
I would venture to guess this guy preyed upon financially successful women and knew he could get away with it because it's so embarrassing. Look at what some of you all are saying about his victim.

 

[GravitySucks]

For a good story to balance these out....
I was out of town dog sitting and wanted to go to a nice restaurant and knew some company would make it more enjoyable. I sent out messages to quite a few women on a dating site and a few responded. One was interesting and interested. However she refused to go to the expensive restaurant as she didn't want any mistake that a hookup was happening. She insisted on a Mexican place where nothing was over $15.
We ate and watched football and had a few beers. We ended up seeing each other 3 times that week and I visited a few more times in the months to follow.
Nice to find her.