Marriage Proposal on FIRE Forum

JustCurious said:
You are so right about that. It is acceptable for women to make negative gender based comments about men's appearance, but if a man does the same about a woman, that is sexist and politically incorrect. Imagine for a moment if a man had written these comments....

I always felt that men should date younger women. ... women’s appearance in general seems to deteriorate more with age, possibly because men in general make more effort to preserve themselves. I was just looking at pictures from my 40th HS reunion. Most of the men looked fit and like they had taken care of themselves. Many of the women had little to no hair or all grey/white hair, were quite overweight, and looked much older than the men they were with. ... marrying a younger woman makes sense vs marrying someone many years older.
Click to expand...



If that is your opinion based on your experience, I’m not offended. I hope I haven’t offended you or anyone with my comments. I was simply sharing my observations from looking at the pictures of my reunion and thinking about my best friend’s and my sister’s experiences being with younger vs older men. YMMV
 
Chuckanut said:
$400 shoes = High Maintenance Female
Click to expand...

I've bought two pairs of boots in that price range and let's not even get into my jewelry. The inside of my safe looks like Ali Baba's cave since I've been accumulating it over decades. I don't define myself as high-maintenance- I don't wear makeup or color my hair and have never had a professional manicure or pedicure. I just like quality in a couple of areas of my life.

I would not expect a guy to have a problem with that unless I expected HIM to spend like that on me (I don't- like to pick out my own) or I asked for his help paying my bills (also not gonna happen).

I DO get discouraged at the number of men on Match.com who are looking for younger women- age 68, for example, looking for women ages 48-58. I may not be blond with an unlined face, but I'm in better shape than most 48-year olds, I can carry on an intelligent conversations, and I can pay my own way in Business Class. They don't know what they're missing.
 
Last edited:
omni550 said:
Today I had a day of continuing education for a professional license I hold (but I don't practice). A guy in class just went nuts over me from the minute he laid eyes on me. I've never been complimented so much in such a short time. It was great for my ego, although he has no clue that he's 15 years younger than me. :LOL: He kept asking me out, but I said I really am not available for a relationship as I am away so much. (Plus, being FIREd and retired, I'd just as soon find someone who could keep a similar schedule as I do.)
Click to expand...
Why not do some research by dating him? Maybe he has enough portfolio to finance half a retirement and could contribute and become your playmate?
 
athena53 said:
I DO get discouraged at the number of men on Match.com who are looking for younger women- age 68, for example, looking for women ages 48-58. I may not be blond with an unlined face, but I'm in better shape than most 48-year olds, I can carry on an intelligent conversations, and I can pay my own way in Business Class. They don't know what they're missing.
Click to expand...

I expect you are correct about most men looking for a younger woman. This never made much sense to me if a guy is looking for a long term relationship, but sometimes widening the age range might be necessary when looking for an appropriate match (interests and fitness level).

Being a fit, single guy with an active lifestyle (hiking, biking, kayaking, running, etc), I don't run across many women my age with similar interests or activity level. I would prefer to spend time with someone near my age but as time goes by it seems there are even fewer women (my age) with similar interests.
 
omni550 said:
Today I had a day of continuing education for a professional license I hold (but I don't practice). A guy in class just went nuts over me from the minute he laid eyes on me. I've never been complimented so much in such a short time. It was great for my ego, although he has no clue that he's 15 years younger than me. :LOL: He kept asking me out, but I said I really am not available for a relationship as I am away so much. (Plus, being FIREd and retired, I'd just as soon find someone who could keep a similar schedule as I do.)


omni
Click to expand...

Not all dates end up in relationships so why not date him ? It may be fun.
 
He sounds a little needy or desperate, in terms of his approach. I'm referring to the statements about "I've never been complimented so much in such a short time" and "He kept asking me out." Ehh...

Otoh, no harm in giving him a chance, if you're feeling like it.
 
Last edited:
Never was interested in a woman more than 5 years my Jr. I like having something in common with my mate. Besides a buddy married a gal 30 years younger than him and she died first, a sudden stroke. They don’t build 'em like they used to. :)
 
Last edited:
Lakedog said:
Being a fit, single guy with an active lifestyle (hiking, biking, kayaking, running, etc), I don't run across many women my age with similar interests or activity level. I would prefer to spend time with someone near my age but as time goes by it seems there are even fewer women (my age) with similar interests.
Click to expand...

OK, I can see that as a reason for wanting someone younger. I do include pictures of myself before a 5K, after a 13-mile bike ride and in various interesting places in the world, so hopefully that will send the message that I'm not sedentary.
 
I don't have time to read the whole thread but shouldn't it be "chime in" and not "charm in?"
 
Regarding the age diff issue, DW and I (born 9 months apart, ~ 65 years ago) just had a conversation about this at a concert (Eagles and James Taylor). One of the things we greatly enjoy about our relationship is that we grew up with the same music, etc. Neither of us can imagine sharing life with someone who just couldn't "relate" due to age difference.


And FWIW, we met online (match) 14 years ago, after previous marriages went south. Found out we lived a few miles apart, and had multiple friends in common, but had never met as far as we knew. Small world sometimes.
 
Yes my wife was married to a Mexican executive before and she said the same thing about shared values and experiences.
 
I always get a good laugh when a man bemoans the high-spending woman he dated and married. If there's a photo of her, she's always a knockout, and of course that's why he wanted her to begin with! Then he finds out that hey, it costs $$ to look like that. And the aesthetic price tag goes up, the older she gets!

As for shoes, I may not wear $400 shoes, but I need to spend $150 every 3-4 months on athletic shoes! Good thing I can afford it.


daylatedollarshort said:
Just an observation from various posts I've seen over the years from men on frugal / ER forums with the same issue and what I have observed with many of the women I know. "Pretty" from a marketing kind of view for women might mean women who look like fashion models with designer clothes, expensive jewelry, have regular facials and seaweed wraps, manicures, pedicures, elaborate makeup and the latest hairstyles, which all come at a price.
I always get a good laugh when we are out and I see very expensively dressed women eying up my husband. Even if he wasn't married, he is much too frugal to ever date someone wearing $400 shoes.
Click to expand...
 
Well, first, good luck to OP.

I think the demographic of female you are seeking is probably very thin on this site. At age 30 (I was already off the market), and although was a saver from birth, early-retirement was not on the radar.

I think to attract prospects, you would need a give a general description of yourself, height, weight, age. If you are employed, ok to mention gainfully employed. I would not mention anything about being well-to-do, or even looking at early retirement. Why? While you don't want to look like a bum, you don't want to attract gold-diggers. Back-in-the-day, (when single), wealth was not a consideration, but I would have been turned off by someone who was not fiscally responsible in some manner. Mention things / activities that you enjoy. Do not come across as wealthy: do not come across as cheap.

When listing requirements for her, I would include an age range to go to a year or two older than yourself. (You may not actually choose to date someone older, but this makes you look more reasonable.) If you like, for example hiking, mention that you would like to go on long hikes, dancing, etc.

I would drop the "pretty." You will actually loose "pretty" girls, just based upon that. First, there will be ladies whom you would consider cute, who don't consider themselves cute. Secondly, you will loose pretty ladies based upon coming across as Shallow Hal. Obviously, you will need to be attracted to a potential mate, but maybe you will be able to narrow that down, by photos or otherwise after initial contact. I would think that you could also explore the person's employment status prior to actually dating, although a request for a spread sheet would probably be frowned upon.

Children, is also something that would need to be addressed, sooner rather than later.
 
Last edited:
Amethyst said:
As for shoes, I may not wear $400 shoes, but I need to spend $150 every 3-4 months on athletic shoes! Good thing I can afford it.
Click to expand...

No doubt a person looks better thanks to wearing out athletic shoes than spending the same amount on 'beauty' products.

The funny thing is one does not have to knock oneself out to get the beauty benefits. Some extra walking, including hills and stairs, more olive oil in the diet, smile more, and a few simple exercises to improve posture and core strength will do wonders.
 
Last edited:
I met my husband at work. All the fresh out of college or military new hires were in the same pay grade. DH dated several women at work before me but I was the only one who offered to pay for half, so he knew I was a keeper. It seemed only fair since I knew he had about the same income as me. I was surprised the other women expected the man to pay 100% when they had equal incomes.

Maybe looking for someone who offered to pay for half the dates is a good sign of fiscal responsibility and fairness? I think initially offering up being financially secure and looking for someone much younger and pretty might attract women looking for a sugar daddy type, which sound like the opposite of what the OP really wants.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

clifp
Blah
Replies
3
Views
2K
clifp
clifp
M
Best view of what a Government should be (caution very long)
Replies
0
Views
2K
mickj
M

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom