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Meat in life's sandwich
Old 08-19-2007, 09:27 PM   #1
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Meat in life's sandwich

Those who know me well know I have been living the eldercare version of ‘rope a dope’. In the last 6 years my now 90 year old mother has suffered a collapsed spine and two hip replacements, all the while coping with the progression of Osteoporosis and Parkinson’s. Many a time I thought she had breathed her last.

This week she has been treated for an infection which two antibiotics have not yet abated. Others in the family are reporting that she is failing; care staff tells them that ‘she is not well’. Today I call for a status update and hear that she ate desert, only. Basically that she should be good for another 24 hours.

As I ponder her situation, if she had not already prepared the headstone to be shared with my deceased Father, I would add “I ate desert first.
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Old 08-19-2007, 09:51 PM   #2
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Sorry about your mom's troubles but I see you have not lost your sense of humor in all of it. My mother is 85 and is in an assisted living center. She just had surgery to repair some internal issues and is recovering in a nursing home. I spent a couple of weeks with her after her surgery and after moving into the nursing home. It is a bit shocking to see the number of folks there just hanging on for one more day. I hope I have the family MI which will take me out long before I am surviving day to day on desert.
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Old 08-19-2007, 10:58 PM   #3
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Whatever the outcome, I wish you all the strength, energy, and health you'll need to handle it.
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Old 08-20-2007, 02:13 AM   #4
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Sorry to hear, Brat.

I hope her 90 years were good. As I recall, some of them were in an interesting part of Portland when it wasn't so big, so I imagine so.

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Old 08-20-2007, 03:20 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brat View Post
Those who know me well know I have been living the eldercare version of ‘rope a dope’. In the last 6 years my now 90 year old mother has suffered a collapsed spine and two hip replacements, all the while coping with the progression of Osteoporosis and Parkinson’s. Many a time I thought she had breathed her last.

This week she has been treated for an infection which two antibiotics have not yet abated. Others in the family are reporting that she is failing; care staff tells them that ‘she is not well’. Today I call for a status update and hear that she ate desert, only. Basically that she should be good for another 24 hours.

As I ponder her situation, if she had not already prepared the headstone to be shared with my deceased Father, I would add “I ate desert first.
Brat - Sorry to hear it. It is sad.

I can relate... you have company. We are going through the same thing. My mother has similar problems, but has not had the surgeries.
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:22 AM   #6
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Sorry, brat. You are a good egg for having stood by her so faithfully for so long.
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Old 08-20-2007, 02:22 PM   #7
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how great that your mom had the loving support of her family to the end. you know i know how tough it is to watch someone you love deteriorate over so many years. don't buy the arguments that it is a relief when they are gone because the relief is diminished by the loss. it still sucks. but i suppose it says something that we are able to gather the strength and the humor to endure. peace, brat.
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Old 08-20-2007, 02:36 PM   #8
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Sorry Brat ,
I'm in the same boat .My Mom is 91 and having knee replacement next month so I'll be spending a lot of time in Pa. . My Mom's a big dessert eater so I'm sure she'd want some pie before she checked out .
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Old 08-20-2007, 08:17 PM   #9
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Glad to hear that she knows enough to eat dessert first. She sounds like she has her priorities right. You are in a tough situation. I wish you the best. I am not in your situation, but I know it must be hard.
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Old 08-20-2007, 10:09 PM   #10
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Brat, sorry to hear about your Mom. She sounds like a lady with a lot of spirit who has come full circle. Mine was too. It's been over two years since my Mom passed away, but I still miss the almost daily gossipy phone calls.
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Old 08-21-2007, 10:13 AM   #11
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Alright, y'all, thanks for reminding me to call my mom this afternoon!

She is a kidney transplant recipient and turning 66 this year--I need to remember that while she drives me crazy a lot of the time, at least she is there to do so!

My sympathies to the sandwiches among you, and hope that I have as much grace under pressure when the inevitable burden falls to me for my parents' care (only childless one).
Sarah
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Old 08-21-2007, 02:12 PM   #12
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Brat... sorry to hear.. but hope things turn out well...
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:30 PM   #13
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Update

My brother and I spent Friday afternoon getting Mom on Hospice care status. The Hospice RN did a quick exam and said she is stable but had unmet needs. She is experiencing pain with transfers, her wheelchair isn’t working well for her (she needs head support), suggested looking at pain management, ordered a visit by a physical therapist and a puree diet.

Saturday she brightened up, LPN said that Mom may give Hospice a run for their money (another 6 months). Mid-morning Saturday the controller for her lift chair was within her reach, she launched herself out of the chair and did a face-plant. By Sunday it was evident she was in real pain, the mobile x-ray folks came out and she was put on Vicodin. She remains stable, flying low on pain meds, no evident break.

I am home now, having my 2nd cup of coffee.

Lesson: If any member of your family uses a powered lift chair they need to be able to be able to walk without assistance. If they can't, the chair controller MUST be out of reach particularly if they have any dementia.
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:49 PM   #14
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Brat, hang tough.

Those of us who have been through something similar can certainly understand the anguish you must be feeling. All you can do is the best that you can do under the circumstances. Your mom is a fortunate woman to have children who are trying to help her.
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